When One Door Closes
by Dyna Dee
Summary: Yaoi - Reluctantly agreeing to separating from Heero, Duo closes the door on having a life with the other half of his soul. He runs fast and far, embarking on a journey that will either heal him or suffer him to be alone and lonely.
1. Chapter 1

**When One Door Closes  
By Dyna Dee**

**Warnings:** yaoi, angst. This is a breakup fic, so expect a couple of pairings with non-canon characters, though I promise you they will not be permanent. Another warning, there's a lot of information in this first chapter.

**Part 1**

The tepid water felt incredibly good running down the back of the naked man's overheated body. With hands planted on the cold wall of the shower stall, head tucked down between his shoulders and his long and wet hair covering much of his back, he stared without seeing the water swirling into the drain below. Not more than five minutes ago he'd returned from his morning run, having gone an extra couple of miles not only to distance himself from what was coming next, but to give Heero some extra time to finish clearing out the last of his stuff. This dark day would probably haunt him in the future as a recurring nightmare, the kind you desperately want to wake up from. Unfortunately, he was not in the middle of a dream. Dammit, why had he allowed his therapist, Heero and their closest friends convince him that this was for the best? If breaking up was the only viable solution to their problems, then why the hell did it feel so wrong?

Heero had been waiting for him when he reluctantly returned home from work the night before with a suggestion for how they might spend the next morning together, their last. Without the usual arguing or emotional debating, they'd calmly discussed the idea. With all the fight gone out of him, he'd listlessly agreed to Heero's plan, but now he was beginning to question the wisdom of such an agreement. Farewell sex: the final closing of the curtain on a relationship that had been struggling for almost two of the past three years he and Heero been together. After all the arguing, disappointment, heartache, yelling and anger, they were calling it quits. Well, that's not exactly what Heero called it, nor their separate therapists. With reassuring smiles everyone referred to their breakup as a trial separation; but he wasn't stupid enough to believe them. When Heero set his mind to do something he went into it full throttle, no second guessing or looking back to question himself. When the Japanese man walked out of their apartment that afternoon, there was no doubt in Duo's mind that it would mark the end of their being lovers, and probably the end of their friendship as well.

No doubt Heero would be dating someone new before long. Perhaps someone from his precious click of friends at the University. And sooner or later Heero would settle into another relationship, one that might even stand a chance of turning out better than theirs did.

Picking up the bottle of shampoo, he poured a generous amount into his open palm then applied it to his hair, recalling the reasons for their breakup. Splitting up wasn't an idea they'd come up with on their own. After a year of not getting along, their closest friends held an intervention of sorts. Wufei, Trowa and Quatre each stated of their concerns about his and Heero's escalating arguing and obvious discord, and then a solution was placed before them. Quatre had made appointments with notable therapists for each of them, professionals recommended by one of his sisters. The three made it crystal clear that not attending the prepaid sessions could cause a serious breach in their friendship.

After several months of therapy, Heero's shrink made the sage observation that because the both of them had so much emotional baggage and suffered from post traumatic stress caused by their respective pasts, neither of them had the necessary tools to maintain a positive, nurturing relationship. The idea of a trial separation was first put into Heero's mind by his therapist. His lover then casually introduced the idea over breakfast one morning. Of course they argued heatedly about it. It wasn't as if he didn't know they had problems, but there was no way in hell he wanted Heero to pack up and move out. Breaking up didn't make sense to him. How could they make their relationship better if they didn't even live under the same roof?

Duo figured either Heero or his shrink must have said something to his therapist, (most likely asking her professional opinion as to whether or not he could handle Heero's leaving) because before long she was shoveling him the same load of shit, saying that it was probably a good idea to live separately from Heero so that he could work on getting his own life together before trying to merge it with another person, especially someone as emotionally challenged as Heero. Though the arguments for breaking up sounded logical enough, Duo just couldn't agree. He was in love with the pigheaded Japanese man, and surrendering before the battle was over just wasn't the way he did things. Without coming to an agreement, he and Heero continued to live together, despite the growing contention, which came to a peak a little over a week ago.

They'd traveled together with Wufei to L4 to spend Christmas at Quatre and Trowa's home. The holiday turned out to be the complete opposite of what he'd hoped for, which was spending time alone with Heero, away from the university and his so-called friends. Time and again the two of them wound up arguing over the same bloody issues: Heero's friends at the university and their opinions regarding just about everything, his nitpicking about anything Duo seemed to say or do, and burying himself in his books instead of spending any quality time with his boyfriend.

Between Christmas and New Year's Eve their arguments escalated, enough that their friends felt the need for yet another dreadful intervention. He was double teamed by Quatre and Trowa while Wufei took Heero aside. Evidently, Wufei learned from Heero about their shrink's recommendation about splitting up and immediately called a conference in the hallway with Quatre and Trowa. When his two friends returned to the sitting room where he'd been waiting, there was a new look of determination in their eyes that warned him they'd come up with a plan.

It took two hours before his friends wore him down with their arguments and managed to convince him to go along with the "trial separation" despite his serious misgivings. If he was honest with himself, it wasn't so much Quatre's logic or Trowa's concern that had influenced him into agreeing, it was his own weariness that defeated him; he was down-to-the-bone tired of arguing, of crashing against the wall of Heero's stubbornness and trying to hold together what everyone else called a dysfunctional relationship.

"Things can only get better," Quatre stated, trying to put a positive spin on things, but his expressive blue eyes told Duo his best friend had serious doubts about their being a happy ending.

"It will be a time to cool down, to take a breath and decide what you want to do next," Trowa added, unflappable as ever. But his own heart believed something different, as did his churning stomach. Not giving him a chance to change his mind, Trowa rushed to call Heero and Wufei back into the room and as a group they discussed the next step, which was Heero moving out of their apartment.

They returned to Earth on Monday with the plan for Heero to locate an apartment in his spare time, though there was no rush or deadline to meet. By Wednesday they were back to work and their lives returned to normal, or so it seemed to Duo. Everything changed later that day when Heero announced his plan to move his things to a storage unit on Friday and that he would be living with Wufei until more suitable living arrangements could be made. Heero argued that the speediness of his actions would make their parting easier than if they dragged it out. It seemed to Duo that his lover was in a mighty big hurry to get away from him, and proof of Heero's urgency came on Thursday when his lover returned home with their lease agreement in hand. He'd visited the property manager that morning and had his name removed from the lease, just in case Duo needed to find a roommate to help defer the cost of living there, or so that was the excuse he gave. Even if Heero's intentions were good, it was like a stab to his already bruised and battered heart

He worked late on Friday, purposely staying away from the apartment, knowing the moving van was arriving that afternoon. Earlier that morning he'd told Heero to take whatever he wanted, that he would keep only the T.V., one of the two lounge chairs and one of the end tables and its lamp from the living room. He also asked if he could keep the bed, basically out of spite because he couldn't bear the idea of anyone else sharing that large bed with Heero when they had been the ones to break it in. He'd offered Heero everything else, minus a couple of pictures he wanted. At first Heero balked at taking so much, but he'd managed to convince him that he really didn't need much and was happy for him to have it. Heero politely thanked him, yet didn't question his generosity any further. If he had, he might have suspected an ulterior motive, that by keeping just enough of the furniture no one would suspect Duo had come up with a plan of his own, where owning a bunch of furniture wasn't in the picture.

The water spewing from the spigot above was getting colder by the minute, causing his body to violently shudder and forcing him out of his melancholy thoughts. Backing away from the flowing water and pushing his clean hair away from his face with both hands, he knew it was time to get his shit together because he couldn't avoid the inevitable much longer. The inevitable being the man in the other room. Heero was probably in bed waiting for him to finish up. He shut off the shower and wrung the excess water out of his long hair, then wrapped it up in a towel so he could dry off the rest of his body.

With the blow drier set to low, he took his sweet time drying his hair and then brushing it until the bristles moved through it unhindered by even the slightest tangle. He wanted Heero to carry away with him memories of the softness of his hair, the scent of his shampoo and the orange-cinnamon spiced soap he favored. That's funny, came the saturnine thought, those simple grooming habits seemed to be the only things about him that Heero didn't find fault with anymore.

Looking into the slightly fogged mirror, he gave his reflection a critical once over. Regardless that his world was falling apart, the man in the mirror looked a bit sad but otherwise unchanged. The large eyes, pert nose and generous mouth all fit together in a pleasant way. And though he didn't generally like to dwell on his appearance, Duo knew he was considered attractive by other people. The openly appreciative glances he received from both men and women led him to believe that he might even be a bit out of the ordinary. He didn't really spend time thinking about it, being attractive that is, but he'd come to the conclusion that being endowed with a nicely put together face and trim body wasn't the be all and end all others made it out to be. It sure hadn't guaranteed him a happy life, had it? So he was left to wonder what good was it being handsome? Heero had once been highly attracted to his physical appearance and, considering his request that they make love one last time before he left the apartment for good, he probably still was. So given that his lover was still physically attracted to him, Duo could only conclude it was the person inside the attractive package that Heero was so desperate to get away from.

Turning away from his reflection, Duo wrapped the towel snugly around his waist, deciding to forgo putting on fresh clothing. He was about to enter their bedroom to make love with Heero for the last time, so why bother with putting clothes on just to take them off again?

He moved towards the bathroom door, but as he drew near his steps faltered. For a long moment he could only stare at the doorknob, unable to reach for it as the reality of the situation hit him full force. Reaching up, he grabbed hold of the doorframe to steady himself as his knees faltered and stomach clenched. _Can I really go through with this?_ Resting his head against the doorframe for a moment, he fought to control his rapid beat of his heart and to make sense of what was happening. Along with all the emotions welling up within him: anger, fear, resentment, hurt and sorrow, came the urge to lean over the toilet and throw up.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he turned his thoughts to the one good thing in their relationship that hadn't soured. Sex. He and Heero had found many reasons for having sex during their time together. He'd always thought of it as making love, though from time to time he'd referred to it by a much cruder term when "love" seemed to be lacking in their relationship. But no matter what he called it, it had always been incredibly good.

In the beginning of their relationship they enjoyed new-couple sex as often as humanly possible. It was hot, wild and a hell of a lot of fun as they discovered each other and what sex was all about. They also had sex for fun, as stress relief and more tender love making on special occasions or when nightmares and painful anniversaries from their darker pasts popped up. There had also been more than their share of make-up sex and they'd always made love whenever he left on any extended assignment for Preventers. But farewell-to-our-relationship sex was a new and strange concept for him to wrap his mind around. Even though he'd grudgingly accepted what their therapists and friends told him, that their relationship was pretty much in the toilet, he never wanted to give up on it or the hope that he and Heero could work things out. Despite what Heero thought, he was willing to work and change in order to stay together, and he thought he'd proved that by going to the shrink Quatre recommended. _A lot of good that did us_, he thought bitterly. _Look where we are now_.

It was pretty damn clear by his recent actions that Heero had given up on them as a couple, had thrown in the towel. After all, hadn't he made the arrangements to move out of their apartment as soon as humanly possible after their return from L4? What was the big rush?

He glared at the door separating him from the man in the other room. Heero was probably sitting in the bedroom at that moment wondering what his damn problem was and why couldn't they just get this over with so he could get on with his life. It was Heero who came up with the idea that they make love before parting ways. He realized now that his estranged boyfriend must have seen the unhappiness and loss he felt when he walked through the door the night before and viewed the almost empty apartment. No doubt it had been an act of desperation on Heero's part when he came up with the suggestion they make love one last time. He'd accepted the proposal, reluctantly believing Heero's argument that having sex before he left would help them part on better terms. Sex, after all, had proven to be the great unifier in their rocky relationship.

When all was said and done neither he nor Heero could say they hadn't enjoyed their time between the sheets together. They were the perfect poster boys for sexual compatibility. No matter how hurt they were, how much they'd argued, ignored or belittled each other, when they finally cooled down it was off to bed they went, often without words passing between them. And it wasn't to sleep. The funny thing was that after sex they were both sated and mellow enough to be able to talk to each other without arguing. Yet in the long run not even great sex nor pillow talk could mend the cracks in the faulty relationship because before long they were back to arguing and pointing out each other's faults.

"Suck it up, Maxwell," he hissed angrily to himself. Straightening, he resolved to be a man about this. _I will not get emotional or beg Heero not to leave, _he told himself sternly. _That's not what he wants. He's waiting in the bedroom for me with his bags packed and sitting by the front door ready to go._ Resolved, he straightened, opened the bathroom door and shut out the light before stepping into the other room.

The first thing he noticed upon entering the bedroom was that it was fairly dark. The curtains had been drawn and the lamp standing next to his side of the bed was turned to dim. As predicted, Heero was sitting up on the turned-down bed and, from what he could see, he was naked with the sheet discretely draped over his lap. As always, there was a gleam of appreciation present in those deep blue eyes as they studied his near-naked body from head to toe. He turned back the sheet on Duo's side of the bed, a wordless invitation.

A lump formed in his throat as Duo walked towards the bed_. I will not let him see that this is tearing me apart. _He stopped just short of touching the mattress, pausing to drink in the sight of his lover. Heero was beautiful, in a completely masculine way. As his eyes feasted on the sight before him, Duo couldn't help thinking that this would be the last time he'd ever see Heero like this. With that thought, his own eyes betrayed his resolve to not show Heero how difficult this was by welling up with tears, blurring Heero's image. Quickly turning around and sitting on the edge of the bed, he kept his back towards his lover, not wanting him to see the tears. No, he sadly corrected himself, he couldn't refer to Heero as his lover any longer, not after today. Slowly unwrapping the towel from his waist, he let it slip off of his hips and felt a warm hand press gently against the cooling skin of his lower back.

"How far did you run today?" Heero asked, as if nothing was the matter and they were simply chatting about everyday things.

"I think something close to ten miles." Duo hated that his voice was thick with emotion.

"Are you too tired?" Was he too tired to have sex is what Heero meant.

"No."

He remained still, sitting fairly rigidly while Heero's fingers played with his loose hair, his warm fingers touching the skin of his lower back now and then. Heero had always had a thing for his long hair, always touching it, smelling the lingering scent of his conditioner, removing the elastic bands that held the braid together and then burying his fingers within its thickness. Duo had to admit that he loved it when Heero played with his hair. It made him feel attractive and desired. Yet in the last year it had also become one of the many trivial things they'd argued about. _Clean your hair out of the shower drain, Duo. It takes too long to wash and brush out. It's always in the way_. After today he would no longer hear those or any other complaints.

"Come here," Heero softly entreated.

The sigh that escaped him while easing himself down onto the bed was one of resignation. Swinging his legs up, he slid them under the sheet then pulled it up to his chest, twisting his mass of hair to lay it on the outside edge of his pillow. Heero immediately leaned over him, looking down and into his eyes. "Are you sure you're all right with this?" he asked, concern lining his handsome face. Duo couldn't help but wonder why Heero looked and sounded like he really cared now that their relationship was over, considering that during the last year the other man had said enough hurtful things to crush his heart. Not that he'd behaved any better, he reminded himself. He'd always been pretty good at shoveling back whatever shit Heero sent his way, and it had became a matter of pride that he wouldn't back off until he saw the same intensity of hurt he felt simmering in his tormenter's blue eyes. Those eyes weren't projecting any hurt or anger at the moment, instead they were filled with passion and, strangely, Duo resented it. _Why now, at the end?_

"How do you want to do this, Duo?"

_How do I want this? _He wondered if he should take Heero hard and fast, the way the other man liked it, or did he want this to be more than just a fuck? The answer came easily to him. "I want you to make love to me, Heero," he replied, his voice remaining thick with emotion. "And I want you to make it good, the best we've ever had so that the memory of today will last a lifetime."

Heero didn't move at first, and for a long moment he appeared thoughtful, as if trying to figure out what was going on in Duo's mind. Finally, with a curt nod, Heero agreed to his request, and lowered himself down onto his elbows so that their bare chests were pressed together. Duo slid both hands up and over Heero's back and shoulders, his open palms soaking in the warmth and strength of the man he loved. He'd mapped out his lover's body with his hands more times than he could count, and yet he never grew tired of it or the thrill he got when touching and holding Heero and knowing his lover had enjoyed it as well.

_Heero's fingers are quite amazing_, he thought as a hand gently brushed over his chest to his left nipple, instantly hardening the tender flesh. Those hands had bruised his arms when out of sheer frustration Heero had grabbed hold of him, trying to make a point of gain his full attention. They had also clenched to make a fist that once knocked Duo unconscious when it connected with his stomach. Yet those less desirable moments were swept away like dust under a rug when Heero tenderly stroked his face, neck and throat. His touch was so gentle that it felt as if he was memorizing each angle, curve and line of him, at least that's how Duo chose to see it. In the remaining moments marking the end of their time together, it was almost painful having Heero treat him so incredibly gentle, like he had at the beginning of their relationship.

_This is the last time_, the choked voice in Duo's mind cried, and damn if his tear ducts weren't purposely trying to betray him. A single tear escaped the outside corner of his left eye, and even though the small droplet moved quickly, it's presence hadn't gone unnoticed by the man above him. Heero's finger intercepted the teardrop before it managed to slip into the curve of his ear, and he wore the look of being perplexed as he stared at it. He'd been brought to tears many times by Heero, but the other man never had the privilege of seeing him cry. No, any crying he'd done had been behind locked doors, in the shower, into his pillow and once in the back of their closet. His tears were something he vowed never to show Heero, and yet here at the very end his traitorous eyes were doing just that.

"Duo?" That note of concern was back again.

He didn't answer, but hastily wiped at his watery eyes, clearing them enough to see that Heero was still hovering above him, worry etched on his face. He wasn't about to tell the other man he was okay because that would be a lie, so to escape any unnecessary talking he grabbed hold of the back of his lover's neck and pulled him down into a consuming, desperate kiss. After a startled moment Heero returned the kiss and began in earnest to make love to him.

To his credit, Heero did everything in his power to fulfill his request, putting everything he had into their lovemaking. Taking his time, the Japanese man touched him everywhere with either his fingers, his lips or tongue, causing the long-haired man to moan and writhe with the familiar growing, aching desire Heero always brought out of him. And though his body felt incredibly good, Duo couldn't shut out the thought that this was the last time Heero would caress his face, tease his lips with his own and join their bodies together in this most intimate way. Those thoughts plagued him throughout their lovemaking, as did his gloomy vision of life after Heero walked out the door, a future he could only imagine as bleak and lonely.

At long last Heero began to prepare him, taking extra care and much longer than usual. Duo wasn't about to complain, wanting this goodbye to last as long as possible. He lay still, holding his breath as Heero pressed forward and eased past the loosened ring of muscle. Like always, it felt unbelievably good to be joined with Heero, and his body soon became like a taut wire, ready to be sprung. Heero paused a moment to let him adjust and Duo squeezed his eyes closed, hoping to hold back his tears. Despite his best effort, they couldn't be stopped this time, and one after another the teardrops began leaking out in a steady stream.

Oblivious to his emotional struggle, Heero's mouth captured his once more, and as he began to move in a slow, primal rhythm, Duo was torn between feelings of completeness, being physically joined with his lover, and empty, knowing their love making marked the end of their relationship. As Heero released his mouth, he forced his tear-filled eyes open to watch the man above him. His image was slightly blurred as he watched Heero work to keep the pace of his thrusts slow and steady, unknowingly fulfilling Duo's second, unspoken request for him to draw this goodbye out for as long as he could possibly manage. Sweat glistened on Heero's bronze skin, his sleekly sculpted chest and arms were warm and moist under Duo's roaming hands. He wondered how something that felt so incredibly good could also make him feel absolutely wretched. His body, as always, responded eagerly to Heero, and he purposely kept his mouth busy, kissing any part of the bronze skin his lips could reach in order to keep himself from begging Heero to stay and never stop loving him.

The rhythm Heero set kept them from coming too quickly, but despite his best efforts, Duo knew they couldn't keep going for much longer. When the pace suddenly increased, he knew Heero was nearing the end, their goodbye was almost complete. Acknowledging the inevitable, all desire for that completion ebbed away from him_. I don't want this. I don't want to say goodbye. I don't want us to be over._

Heero's body jerked forward one last time as he reached his climax with an accompanying low, guttural moan. He remained poised above Duo for several long moments before he recovered enough to open his eyes and looked down at the man beneath him. Knowing he hadn't come, Heero's right hand moved between their bodies, intending to bring him to completion also. But what that hand found when it reached its goal had those deep blue eyes widening with surprise: Duo's member was completely limp. It was the first time anything like this had happened to them. _Imagine that_, Duo thought with wry amusement_, something new at the very end._

"Did I hurt you?" Worry was etched on Heero's face.

_Hell yes you've hurt me, time and time again_, he wanted to yell. Instead, he shook his head, even as more tears broke loose and streamed down the sides of his face.

Heero gently slipped out of him and eased his body down to rest close by the long-haired man's side. He pulled Duo into his arms and held him in a comforting embrace that broke the long-haired man's heart even more. "It's just a trial separation, Duo. It doesn't mean it's forever." But Duo knew that it did. If Heero truly believed it was possible to salvage their relationship, he wouldn't for a moment have entertained the idea of moving out of their apartment and leaving him alone. "We'll still see each other, still be friends and maybe even more once we get ourselves sorted out."

Duo didn't say anything in return because he knew Heero was only trying to comfort him in order to make his leaving that much easier. "Are you going to be okay here by yourself?" he asked. Why was Heero showing more concern for him today than he'd displayed in over a year? "If you want, I can ask Quatre and Trowa to come by and keep you company."

He shook his head and managed to choke out, "I'm a big boy, Heero. You don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine." Duo could hear the other man's sigh of relief. _Guess that's one less thing for him to feel guilty about_.

"How about I call you in a couple of weeks and we'll get together, shoot some pool or something?"

"If you want," Duo answered unenthusiastically, slightly surprised by how detached he sounded. All of his mental faculties were now being centered for the final act to come, Heero's actual departure_. I wonder if he'll tell me he loves me before he leaves. If he does, I'll confess that he's my world. _Finally working up enough courage to return Heero's gaze, he drank in the sight of the other man through watery eyes. Heero appeared thoughtful as he gazed back, and Duo realized that his former lover was studying him also, either memorizing his face or trying to figure once again what was going on in his head.

"I'm sorry this wasn't good for you," Heero said softly, sounding honestly contrite. It's one of the few apologies Duo had gotten from him in a long time.

"Not your fault," he replied, his voice gruff as he struggled to salvage some small measure of dignity.

After several moments, Heero leaned down and kissed him tenderly and Duo recognize the action for what it really is, the final goodbye. He was pretty sure he could hear the definitive crack of his broken heart as he pulled away and fought back the impulse to grab hold of the other man and beg him not to go. Heero paused for only a moment to brush away the new stream of tears from off his face.

"I should go," he stated, and Duo nodded, unable to speak.

He lay sprawled on the bed, unmoving and with Heero's body fluids leaking out of him and watched as his former lover rolled over and sat on the edge of the bed. With eyes blurred by tears, he wondered what Heero was thinking as leaned his forearms on his thighs and let his head hang down. He couldn't bring himself to say anything, fearful of losing the frail hold he had on his composure. The time for words had passed, he realized as Heero reached out and grabbed a tissue from the box on the bedside table and hastily cleaned himself off before standing and going to the nearest chair that held a neat pile of folded clothing. He methodically began to dress, keeping his back to the inert man on the bed. When he finished buckling his belt, Heero asked without turning, "Are you going to see me to the door?"

Duo nodded, not that Heero could see it with his back turned, and wondered how much more emotional torture the other man was going to put him through today. Rising slowly from the bed, he grabbed a tissue and quickly wipe away the unctuous body fluid and lube from his backside before telling Heero to lead the way. With his long and loose hair falling over his shoulders, his only covering, he walked with reasonably steady steps behind Heero as he left the room. Without looking back to see if he was following, Heero moved towards the apartment's front door. He bent to grab his suitcases, opened the door and then finally looked over his shoulder at Duo, standing in all his naked glory behind him. He frowned disapprovingly. "Dammit, Duo, don't you have any sense of propriety? Anyone passing by in the hallway could see you." Propriety, or rather his lack of it, his outgoing nature, flippant attitude, sarcasm, the way he dressed, talked and flirted with coworkers or waitresses he deemed "safe", all seemed to irritate Heero as their relationship deteriorated. He couldn't seem to do anything right anymore, nor did Heero ever think himself in the wrong. _We're too different from each other, just as Heero keeps telling me. _

Since Heero began studying at the university, he'd often made him, the former L2 street brat, feel as if he weren't smart or even clever enough to be included in his growing list of intellectual friends. Sure, his education was somewhat lacking, but he'd been smart enough to survive living on the streets of L2 when thousands of others hadn't, and even managed to escape that hell hole of a colony. He'd also been smart enough to help build and pilot a gundam and fought in not one, but two wars. He was even considered smart enough to have a valued and respected position with the Preventers organization. Somehow, Heero seemed to forget all of that when he got together with his new friends at the university. It was still hard to imagine that Heero, the boy who saved the Earth, who accomplished impossible feats through sheer determination, had become strangely impressionable. With the help of his newfound, pseudo-intellectual friends from the university, who were, in Duo's opinion, self deluded egotists who believed they had the answers to all of society's problems in their puffed up, over-inflated fat heads, Heero had slowly turned from his sometimes annoying detailed-oriented lover into an insufferable, intolerant yet educated snob. _One more reason for us to part ways, I suppose_, _and his last parting comment before he closes the door is his final message to me that I'll never measure up to his standards._

Raising his eyes to look squarely into Heero's disapproving gaze he whispered a final, "Goodbye, Heero."

The room stilled, and for just a slight moment something flickered in Heero's eyes. _Is that regret I see, or longing? _Duo wondered. _Guess I'll never know. _"I'll see you around," Heero replied soberly, and Duo watched as he turned around and walked out of the door and his life.

He stood there for a long, painful moment, hearing a slight thump against the wall before he found himself surrounded by complete silence. Any shred of hope that Heero would change his mind died with each passing moment. With wooden legs he stumbled back to the bedroom, the bed and his pillow. Throwing himself down, he proceed to let out all the grief and anguish in his heart, knowing that no one was going to hear or come to comfort him.

He wasn't aware of how much time passed while he mourned the loss of not only Heero, but of the dream he'd once had of the two of them living their lives together, but he sensed that at least an hour had passed before he was startled by the phone ringing loud and clear, interrupting his crying jag. He let the answering machine get it only to have the damn thing ring again a few moments later. After the fifth time, he stumbled from the bed and headed towards the vid phone, located in the front room, with the intention of answering the stupid thing and getting rid of the irritating caller. He checked the caller I.D and was filled with dread after seeing it was Quatre who was calling.

Sniffing back the last of his tears and throwing his long, loose and tangled hair over his shoulders, he hit the button that allowed sound only. He couldn't chance Quatre seeing him and the evidence of his heartbreak.

Clearing his throat, he managed a decent sounding hello.

"Duo? It's Quatre. Are you all right? You sound like you're coming down with a cold or something."

"No. I'm fine. Heero just left."

"Oh." Several long and silent moments passed before the blond cautiously asked, "Are you all right?"

"No. But I will be."

"This really is for the best, you know." No, he didn't know, but blondie sounded so wise and sincere that he knew Quatre honestly believed what he was saying. "With this separation you and Heero can work on your own issues and, given time, you'll be able to heal and maybe even appreciate each other again."

He wondered if Quatre had spoken with his therapist because that line sounded like the same pile of crap she dished out to him on a weekly basis. "Sure. Whatever."

"Did you two fight again?"

"No."

"You parted on good terms?"

"If you'd consider having farewell sex 'good terms' then yeah, we parted on good terms," he reply snidely. It had to be pretty clear to Quatre by now that he was not handling this very well.

"I think Trowa and I should come over and keep you company. How about we bring dinner?"

"Thanks, but I don't think so. I already made plans to keep myself busy."

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Quatre, you're not my mother nor my damn brother," he snapped, irritably. He was more than a little put out with the blond as well as his other friends. "I can take care of myself, so don't worry about me. Besides, I think you've interfered enough, don't you?" He didn't usually take that kind of attitude when talking with his well-meaning friend, so it was no wonder that the other man sounded worried when he replied to that last comment.

"No, I'm not your mother, but I'm your best friend and I'm concerned. I know how hard this is on you, Duo, that this isn't the way you wanted things to happen."

"Sorry to burst your bubble, Quat, but you know diddily squat about how I'm feeling. Your relationship with Trowa is nothing like what Heero and I had, and thank God for that!"

"I promise you, Duo, things will get better. Just take it a day at a time. When one door closes another one opens. In a couple of weeks, if you're up to it, Trowa and I can set you up with a couple of friends we know that are dying to meet you."

"Thanks, but no thanks, Quatre," he snapped back. "That's the last thing that I need. I'm not about to do this again anytime soon."

"Can you turn on the camera so I can see for myself that you're all right?"

Duo chuckled at that. "If I did, you'd see more of me than Trowa would be comfortable with. I was about to get into the shower when you called."

"Oh!" He could hear the blond blushing over the line. "How about we come over for lunch tomorrow?"

"Listen, Quat, here's the thing." He mentally winced after using that innocuous expression. Heero often remarked about the phrases he habitually used, too frequently for his taste. "Here's the thing," happened to be one of them. "I talked to Old Iron Pants yesterday and arranged to use up some of my vacation time. I'm getting the hell away from here for a while to try and get my head on straight."

What he didn't tell his friend was that he also asked his boss for all of his vacation and sick pay as well. Une had looked at him with that gaze of hers that made him feel she was every bit as empathic as Quatre. She didn't have the ability to read his mind or sense his emotions, as far as he knew, but it was pretty eerie how she could use her female intuition to guess what was going on with her agents. "Are you coming back, Mr. Maxwell, or should I assign a new partner to Mr. Barton?" she'd asked with one finely shaped eyebrow raised. He told her to give Trowa a temporary partner for a month, and if he wasn't back by February tenth, she was to make it a permanent placement.

To be honest, the boss lady took it better than he thought she would. She stood from her desk and came towards him with her hand extended. "I've heard about your imminent break up with Heero," she'd said in her out-of-the-office voice, her eyes filled with compassion. "Running away isn't always the best way to deal with heartache, Duo. You have friends here. They can help you get through this. Do you really believe this is the best way?"

"I can't bear to watch him get over me and move on," he'd replied with uncharacteristic openness, unable to look at her while feeling like his insides were being wrung out to dry.

"I understand," she'd said, and in such a way that he believed she truly did. He'd heard that there had been a romantic wrestling match between her and Zechs Marquise over Treize Kushrenada. Maybe it wasn't just a rumor and that she truly knew what it was to lose someone. She saw him to the door and he extracted her promise not to tip anyone off that he most likely wasn't coming back. If anyone asked, she would tell the truth, that he took his vacation time and left town.

Quatre's voice was filled with concern as he asked. "Are you sure that's what you want to do, Duo?"

"Yeah. I think getting out of this apartment and experiencing something new is gonna help me face the fact that life will go on past this shitty day."

"Would you like to go to one of my places? You know you're welcome to stay at any one of them and it would save you money."

"Thanks, but no. I've already got something planned and I think I need to do this on my own, realize a bit of independence, if you know what I mean."

"I suppose," the blond replied softly, but Duo could tell his friend was still worried.

Then he suddenly realized this could possibly be his last conversation with Quatre, his good and caring friend, maybe for a long time, if ever. Quatre had always looked out for him, often treating him like he was his ignorant, wayward little brother. Duo recalled not having been particularly nice to the blond during the holidays because of the so-call intervention, and now he regretted it. "Hey, Quat?"

"Yes?"

"You're the best, you know that?"

"You're like a brother to me, Duo," he replied softly, his fondness for Duo evident in his voice. "When you hurt, I hurt. The same goes for happiness."

"Yeah, that empathy thing sucks, don't it?" Duo chuckled darkly. Then on a sad note he added, "Don't hinge your happiness on my bad luck, buddy, it'll only bring you the same." Softening his voice, he said with all sincerity, "You're like family to me, Quat. Thanks for putting up with me." He could feel himself begin to waver, knowing that if he needed him, his friend would drop everything to come to his aid. He didn't know how he'd ever earned such a friendship, but he did value it.

With his emotions rising to the surface once again, Duo knew he had to cut things short or he'd give away his plans for escaping not only the city of Sanq, but his entire way of life. "I better go and get that shower before I catch cold. Take care, buddy."

"You too, Duo. You'll contact me to let me know you're all right from time to time, won't you? And call when you get back?"

"Check your email," he told him, trying to get out of an answer that would be construed later as a lie. He still had a problem with lying outright, deciding years ago that he was a better person for practicing honesty. He was certainly walking on a thin line with that principle today, however. "Goodbye, Quatre."

During the unusual stretch of silence that followed, he wondered if his empathic friend sensed what he was about to do, but then the blond replied. "Be well and stay safe, Duo. We love you."

The line went dead, and Duo pressed the cut-off button on his machine. His heart felt weighed down, more than ever before, but he didn't have time to grieve the loss of... well, everything. A brief shower took care of any remaining traces of Heero, and as he braided his hair into a tight weave, he wondered for a brief moment if he should just cut the damn thing off. It had been his signature, a part of who he was: an orphan, street brat, survivor and gundam pilot and Heero's lover. It held a hell of a lot of memories for him, good and bad. He shook his head at his reflection in the mirror. Heero had already taken so much from him, his self confidence, self esteem and the belief that he was okay just as he was. He'd be damned if the other man's leaving was going to take his braid away from him, too.

He quickly dressed, pulling on his well-worn jeans and a long-sleeved shirt over his thermals and gained momentum as he grabbed a box of junk stored in the closet and moved it into position on the floor so he could stand on top of it in order to reach the highest closet shelf. Reaching up, he found and pulled down his old black duffle bag from the war. He wasn't planning on taking all that much with him, intending to travel as light as possible.

He packed several pairs of jeans, T-shirts, one pair of dress pants, a dress shirt and tie, a pair of sweats, tennis shoes, boots and dress shoes. Satisfied that it was enough, he moved to the dresser Heero had insisted he keep and pulled out a week's worth of boxers, socks and a couple of white t-shirts. Several small pictures of Heero and the guys were also packed along with a fragment of Deathscythe that he'd recovered after he'd blown his gundam to smithereens. His knife was secured in its sheath against his leg, just above his boot, and his gun and license to carry it were tucked into his shoulder holster.

Zipping the black duffle closed, he straightened and realized that he was all set to go, both physically and mentally. He bent to the stack of books, set under his side of the bed, and located his handy hollowed-out book. He opened it and removed several passports, each with a different alias. He'd set them up as verifiable covers over the years he'd been working at Preventers, never knowing when he might be called upon to act as someone other than himself. No doubt it was a residual action from the war that he was always prepared with papers and a false background check that would look legitimate to anyone inquiring, even law enforcement agencies.

He shuffled through the passports and papers and removed the ones he thought appropriate. The rest went back into the hollow book which he then placed into his smaller back pack, in a specialized compart designed to foil x-ray machines and physical searches. He then filled the rest of the pack with toiletries. It took him only a couple of minutes to get everything else together, including his camera, a book he hadn't finished reading and a couple of protein bars from the bread drawer in the kitchen.

After pulling on the cold weather jumpsuit over his regular clothes, which would protect him from the frigid cold winter weather while riding his bike, there was nothing left to do but say farewell to the place he'd called home for the past three years. He took his time gazing over the apartment, trying hard to remember the good times rather than the bad. And there had been good times, he reminded myself, plenty of them. It was only after Heero started school two years ago that things had begun to sour between them.

He forced himself not to think about the arguments and scuffles and turned his thoughts back to the first Christmas they'd shared in this apartment and of the first time their friends had come to visit them shortly after they'd moved in together. With a slight grin he recalled the disastrous dinner he and Heero had attempted. The result of their cooking had been embarrassing, but made for a good laugh and memory. Yet now, in the stillness of the place he had once viewed as a haven, he could hear the faint echo of laughter that had come from Heero and their friends. He held onto that memory as he pulled his backpack over his shoulders then picked up his old, beaten-up duffle and walked out the door of the only home he'd ever known, other than the orphanage.

After a quick trip to the manager's apartment, giving him the keys and recently amended lease with his two week notice attached, he told the older man to either donate the furniture left behind or give it to some renter in need. As a late Christmas bonus, he told the manager to keep the deposit. He didn't want to leave any loose strings that might help anyone to track him down.

After that, he made his way to the parking garage and retrieved his motorcycle. He was going to make his way across Europe on it, sightseeing all the way. He hadn't lied to Quatre about getting away and seeing new places and things. On Monday, after the banks opened, he planned to have his savings and checking accounts, including his newly deposited vacation and sick-time pay, transferred to an untraceable account in Zurich that he'd set up during the war and never closed. After reaching Switzerland, he'd cash out his roughly twenty thousand credits and decide where to go from there. He was a man with a small amount of luggage, a whole lot of emotional baggage and a vague plan for his immediate future; the perfect description of a vagabond.

He secured the top of his winter jumpsuit, put on his cold-weather gloves and ear warmers before slipping on his helmet and prayed the good weather would hold for a couple of days. The engine of his bike started with a roar and with no effort steered it onto the road and towards an uncertain future with only a quick, regret-filled glance over his shoulder at the life he was leaving behind.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I think I forgot to mention in the first chapter that I don't own anything in the Gundam Wing Universe and I don't make any money for using the characters in my stories.

**When One Door Closes  
By: Dyna Dee**

Warnings: yaoi, other than that, not much in this chapter. Not a death fic.

Chapter 2

A little over a month had come and gone since Duo left his home and job, and the deadline for contacting Director Une had passed. His friends as well as Heero, if he even cared, would realize by now he wasn't coming back. He felt guilty about ditching them like he had, but the pain from his breakup with Heero was still as fresh as it had been the day his lover had walked out the door. In his darkest moments, usually late at night when feelings of loneliness became more acute, he blamed his so-called friends for his wretched state; being alone and lonely on an endless road. His closest friends had meddled into his and Heero's lives and had talked them into separating. Yet in the light of day, with the cold February wind in his face as he guided his motorcycle down yet another new road, he knew he was deluding himself by casting the blame for his breakup with Heero on their friends. The real blame for their breakup he put on Heero, knowing full well that his former lover would probably blame him as well.

His leaving was for the best, or so he told himself every day as he hit the road once more. Perhaps if he kept saying it enough he'd actually start to believe it. He didn't want to think about how hurt Quatre would be after learning he purposely hadn't told him the full truth about his "vacation" and that he wasn't coming back. Trowa must be angry with him for not only hurting his lover, but for leaving him saddled with a new partner. Wufei was probably feeling quite justified in calling him immature and selfish. And Heero? Well, he didn't know how his former lover would react to his leaving. He'd changed so much during the past two years that it was difficult for him to predict his reactions. Heero might actually worry that he'd gone off the deep end. On the other hand, he might be relieved he hadn't stayed and caused an embarrassing scene or two. The two of them had already experienced more than their share of ugly moments, both private and public.

A rare smile drew up the corners of his mouth as he came over a hilltop and into view of the shipping port in Barcelona. There in the distance was a large familiar ship, looking for the moment like home away from home. The only person he'd contacted during his European wanderings had been Howard, and that message had only gone out a week ago, via an internet café. His old friend emailed him back with language he hadn't used since their pre-war days together on the Sweeper's ship. Howard wrote a veritable tirade about his taking off without contacting anyone. He'd been contacted by Quatre and Wufei and Howard reported that they had very upset by his continued absence and silence. The old man also related that because there had been no trace of him, and considering the distraught condition he was in when he'd left Sanq, his friends feared he might have done something drastic, like killing himself. That was something Duo hadn't considered. It's true he'd been upset when he last talked to any of them, but he never dreamed they'd think he'd do himself in just because his love life was in ruins.

Howard agreed to his request for a lift across the Atlantic, letting him know that one of his ships was scheduled to depart from Barcelona in a few day, en route to Brazil. The old man said he was welcome to hitch a ride on the condition: that he explained what the hell was going on. Duo reluctantly agreed, but only with Howard's promise that he wouldn't tell anyone he'd hitched the ride. In return, the retired engineer made him promise that he would let his friends, waiting anxiously back in Sanq, know that he was still alive and kicking, otherwise there was no deal.

To satisfy Howard's condition, Duo called Une the night before entering Barcelona, not having enough nerve to call one of the guys. He asked her to relay the message that he was alive and well, but that he wasn't coming back. The Preventers' director expressed her regret and again questioned his reasoning, but in the end she promised to do as he asked. Though feeling guilty as hell for having caused undue worry over his well being, he remained unapologetic. For the foreseeable future he was going to answer only to himself for his actions and take charge of his life and happiness.

Howard's buddies received word ahead of time about his estimated time of arrival and welcomed him on board the ocean freighter named Stargazer without question. He didn't recognize any of the crew and guessed that none of them had been aboard the ship when Howard was its captain during the first war. Still, the gruff sailors accepted him simply as Howard's friend and guest and basically left him to his own devices when they returned to their work.

After eighteen days of rough seas and skirting transatlantic storms, Duo happily bid the Stargazer's captain and crew a grateful goodbye after the ship docked in Sao Paulo, Brazil. He'd never been to South America before and decided now was as good a time as any to explore that part of the world. He took a few tours and his sweet time traveling through Brazil south to Argentina and then turned north again through Chili, enjoying the warmer climate after having left the frigid European winter.

It wasn't by any forethought that six months after leaving Sanq Duo found myself in North America. He'd met a lot of people, enjoyed a lot of interesting conversations and had a whole lot of time to think about his life. And somewhere along the way he slowly came to the realization that his shrink had actually been right about something. Because of his lack of role models and his unusual harsh and childhood he was pretty messed up and had a warped idea about what relationships were all about. That revelation wasn't much comfort, for after months of traveling his heart was still bruised and ached painfully each and every time he thought about Heero and their failed relationship. With time and distance he'd come to realize that Heero wasn't the only one who'd been at fault for things going so wrong, that he'd done his fair share of damaging the relationship as well. He'd been clingy, having felt threatened by the changes in Heero since he'd begun studying at the university and his association with new friends. He'd also been insecure and abrasive when Heero made any remark that closely resembled criticism. But that was all water under the bridge now, he sadly reminded himself, and here he was, a half year later, more lonely than ever and suffering from the worst case of homesickness.

Sitting in a booth at a truck stop located somewhere in the Midwest sometime around midnight one early summer night, Duo fought back the familiar wave of loneliness while drinking a strong cup of hot coffee before making the decision about whether he should go on that night or find a place to sleep. It seemed odd to him that even at that late hour the truck stop was filled with activity. There were men and women of various ages going in and out of the restaurant who made a living hauling a wide variety of goods in large trucks across the vast country he'd only begun to discover. The other coffee shop patrons had apparently stopped, just like he had, to revive themselves with some strong coffee and conversation.

He'd been sitting there for approximately twenty minutes or so, sipping his topped-off cup of coffee, when a tall and burly man with a bit of a paunch entered the diner. The man gave the busy establishment a once over before making his way toward Duo's booth. Looming over the braided man, the newcomer asked if he would mind sharing the table with him because there were no others seats available. Nodding his permission, Duo took another sip of his coffee and surreptitiously watched as the other man sat down across from him and immediately waved for the waitress to come to the table. She arrived with a cup of coffee in hand, took his order for a piece of apple pie ala mode, then left the two strangers to contemplate each other.

"Where ya headin'?" the large man asked in a friendly manner after taking a decent swig from his cup of coffee.

"Nowhere in particular," Duo answered, toying with his half-eaten donut, trying to decided if he really wanted to finish it or not.

"Ah, the young and restless," the older man said with a knowing grin.

Duo shrugged, not feeling very enthusiastic about carrying on a conversation that late at night.

The man gave a nod of his head, apparently understanding his reticence. "So if you're not running to something at your age, you must be running from something or someone."

"Both," Duo answered grudgingly, eyes focused on the dark fluid in his mug.

"Girlfriend?"

"A broken heart," he corrected, not about to discuss his sexual preferences with a complete stranger.

"You doin' this all on your own?"

"Yeah."

"How long have you been riding the road?"

Duo was relieved to get off the other subject. "Six months."

The other man's eyes narrowed as he took another sip of his coffee. "Seems like a long time to put your life on hold."

"I've put it to good use," Duo told him defensively. "I've traveled through Europe, South and Central America. I'm now seeing North America for the first time, so I wouldn't call it wasted time."

The man smiled at him. It was a kind smile, Duo decided and he felt his guard lowering a bit more as the man continued. "I'm sure you've made some good memories, but isn't it about time you shared those memories with someone? Maybe someone from home?"

The braided head shook even as his heart constricted painfully in his chest. "There's no one," he answered morosely, ducking his head over the half empty cup.

Several moments passed in silence as Duo studied his reflection in the undoctored coffee. He was pretty sure the trucker was staring at him, trying to figure him out. _Good luck, fella._

"Look, I'm heading west to Bakersfield and I've a long way to go. If you're interested in heading that way, how about hitching a ride with me for a while? I'll let you off wherever you want."

"I don't think so," Duo answered, casting a wary glance at the man, trying to judge the motive behind the invitation. He was obviously being mistaken as a hitchhiker. The man across from him appeared relaxed and his face displayed a hint of concern, his eyes looked kind. _He might just be on the up and up. _"Besides, I've got my motorcycle."

"You'll be doing me a favor," the truck driver continued to try and persuade him. "If you give me some company, talk my ear off so I don't fall asleep, I'll feed you and let you off where ever you want to hang your hat. Your bike's not a problem. I've got room in the back. So what do ya say? I can use the company and it looks like maybe you can too."

It was too tempting an offer to pass by. The road he'd taken had been a lonely one, and frankly, he was starving for some company. During his travels, Duo learned that there were people in this world he could trust, even if it was short term; but could he trust this guy? The man must have sensed he was about to cave in because he suddenly shifted his bulky form in his seat and offered Duo his hand.

"Name's Dwight Higgens. Every chance I get I hang my hat in Saint Cloud, Minnesota, where my wife and three kids carry on while I make my runs. I'm currently running a load of machine parts and imported crap. Ever seen California?"

Duo's smile came easy, sensing the man across from him was the real deal, an honest Joe trying to make a living. "Duo Maxwell," he replied, taking the offered hand and giving it a firm shake. "Guess our meeting is fortuitous because I just happen to be another import, just like the crap you're hauling. Guess I'll fit right in." The man threw his head back and gave up a belly laugh. Duo found himself laughing as well. He could already tell that he was going to like this guy.

Twenty minutes later the two men were armed with caffeinated sodas and a surplus of junk food and belted into their seats in the cab of the large truck that was turning onto the interstate. Of course Duo had been in a big rig before, having stolen his share of trucks in order to transport Deathscythe on the ground during the first war, but those state-of-the-art rigs had nothing on Dwight's homey interior, with pictures of his house, wife and family displayed on just about every available space. Thoughts of the big transport trucks he'd hijacked brought back the memory of his old buddy Deathscythe, which led him to feelings of longing for his former comrades. Even though the good old days had been hell, there were moments when he wished for them once again. The excitement and challenge of battle against a great foe and the comradeship that grew between himself and the other gundam pilots, not to mentions his then budding relationship with Heero. Yes, those were the things he missed the most.

The first fifteen minutes of the ride were spent with Dwight pointing out all of the pictures in his cab and more or less introducing Duo to his wife and kids. The younger man silently bet that Mrs. Higgens was a damn good cook because the whole family resembled Dwight, their appearance indicating they were well fed. Their fair hair and skin put him in mind of the people in northern Europe. Pale, hale and hearty.

After hearing about his kids, their interests and how bright they were, Dwight paused to glance from the road ahead to his passenger. "So this girl who broke your heart was pretty special, huh?"

He really didn't want to lie to the guy but neither did he want to be dumped in the middle of nowhere if he was homophobic, so Duo hedged. "The love of my life, I'm afraid." He expected Dwight to say something like he was too young to feel that way, that someone else was bound to come around and mean so much more to him, but he didn't. Instead, the older man replied in a sympathetic tone, "That's tough, kid. But the heart does mend, or so I'm told. I met Margie when we were in high school, and even though we didn't begin dating until we were seventeen I knew from the start that she was the one for me. Guess I'm one of the lucky guys because she felt the same way about me."

A moment passed in silence as both men thought about the person that made their existence bearable, or on Duo's part, unbearable. After all this time he still ached when thinking about Heero, but he had to admit that the pain was less than it had been a couple of months ago. "So, tell me about yourself," Dwight said suddenly, startling Duo out of his thoughts. Figuring he'd probably never see the truck driver ever again, he thought, _Why the hell can't I talk about myself_? Something inside of him wanted to open up to someone, and this guy seemed a decent sort, a good candidate for a heart to heart.

"I'm an orphan from the colonies," he began, and then proceeded to give Dwight a brief, very edited version of his youth, leaving out his part in the war other than saying he'd fought with a resistance group that opposed the occupation of the colonies. He told him about falling in love - though he omitted Heero's name and that he was a guy. He admitted that their personalities were not always in sync, but that they got along well enough until his lover began school, and then things turned sour rather quickly. The criticism began when the love of his life saw the differences between the boy from L2 and the more educated, sophisticated people at the university, and he was found lacking in comparison with them. The arguing escalated until their friends intervened and convinced to separate.

By the time Duo got to the point where he'd left everyone and everything to get his life together, the cab of the truck smelled heavily of tortilla chips, corn nuts and there were two sodas sitting in his bladder. Several hours had passed since they'd left the truck stop, so he didn't feel too bad about asking Dwight if he could pull over somewhere so he could relieve himself. He expected a rest stop, but Dwight found a turn out and Duo wound up using some poor bush as his relief station.

Once they were on the road again, their conversation began to lag and the sound of country music dominated the cab. It wasn't uncomfortable, their sudden lack of communication, but more of a result of both men getting tired and thoughtful as the night stretched on towards dawn. Duo wondered what the down-to-earth man thought about him now that he'd heard the edited version of his life or why he even cared what a stranger thought.

When Dwight spoke again, his voice sounded thoughtful. "Ya know, Duo, I'm no expert or nothin', just an average guy on the road, but it seems to me that instead of running from your problems, why not settle down for a bit, get some new friends and maybe see someone about dealing with your past. Maybe you can't have the love of your life any longer, but that doesn't mean you can't find someone else to share you life with."

Dwight's suggestion made sense, but Duo had found it easier to just keep moving rather than taking on the onerous chore of finding a job, a place to stay and then people he could trust enough to consider friends. "Yeah, maybe you're right," he conceded. "But I don't know that I want to go to that much effort. Where would I go? What would I do? It's easier to just be a rolling stone that gathers no moss."

"A stone has a lonely existence," Dwight replied, and damn if Duo didn't know he was right. He was lonely and had almost given in to the need to call Quatre a week or two ago when he didn't think he could take the separation from his friends or the loneliness any longer. He got over that episode with the help of a handsome and talented guy he met in New Orleans, but one night stands weren't really his thing. They left him feeling empty and guilty an hour later, especially when knowing he'd never see the person again. He'd had a handful of those experiences during his travels, mostly to stave off the loneliness, but he wasn't in any hurry to repeat them.

"I think I might have a solution for you, that is if you're interested." Duo turned his head to look at the older man, wondering what he had in mind. "Now just keep an open mind, alright?"

"Okay. Shoot."

Dwight continued with his eyes on the road. "My brother is the manager of a ski resort in Park City, Utah. It's a nice place, very popular in the winter, but there's something to do all year round in that area. He loves it there, loves the mountains. He told me once that he believed a lot of people moved to the mountains to escape something in their life. While you were talking, I thought the mountains might be a good place for you to pause in your journey and try something new. If you want to hang up your motorcycle helmet for a while, I'm sure with a phone call I can get you set up with a job. What do you think? Interested?"

There was definitely something about the proposition that appealed to Duo. The only time he'd been to the mountains was when Quatre had taken the five of them on a vacation a couple of months after the last war, just to get away together. It had been in the springtime, and the hills had been green and the wild flowers were in bloom, blanketing the tall mountainsides with yellow, blue and white. It had been a wonderful, healing setting. He and Heero hadn't formally been together as a couple for very long, so it had also been very romantic and a very good memory.

He was brought out of the memory by Dwight's voice as he continued talking. "I'm told the snow in Utah is great for skiing and people from all over the country go there during the winter. It's not a big place, kind of a small town, actually, and built mostly on a hillside. Still, my brother claims there's a lot to do around there. Movie festivals, hunting, lakes for fishing, boating, or water sports. Brian, my brother, is a real outdoor's man – you almost have to be if you're born in Minnesota, ya know – and he loves it there."

He trucker paused for a moment to see if his passenger had something to say. Duo was definitely tempted but still wary. "Can you give me a little time to think about it?" He didn't want to say yes right away but saying no could mean the end of an opportunity. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, Howard used to say when he was a runny-nosed brat.

"Sure," Dwight replied. "In fact, I think I'll be fine for a while if you want to try and get some shut eye. We can talk later, over breakfast, if you want."

"Thanks, Dwight," he said, then burrowed down into his jacket, folded his arms across his chest and leaned heavily against the side of his seat. He spent a good fifteen minutes contemplating the merits of accepting Dwight's offer. _What do I have to lose?_, he asked himself. _Absolutely nothing_, answered the small voice at the back of his mind. He'd already lost the one thing that meant everything to him and walked away from the rest and he was getting weary of the road, of being alone all the time. Maybe it was time for a change. With that thought in mind he let himself relax and a short while later he fell asleep to the sounds of a steel guitar and a male voice singing something about some woman loving his truck.

He awoke to the sound of the large truck's engine downshifting as Dwight slowed the truck with his brakes before pulling into another truck stop. Duo sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, then noticed that the sun had risen.

"Morning," he yawned. "Sorry I slept so long."

"Only a couple of hours," Dwight said, and his smile assured Duo he wasn't upset that he hadn't kept him company. "Ready for some breakfast?"

"Sure. Where are we?" he said with a quick look outside the window. "Denver. We're about to go over the mountains. It's a beautiful sight and not a road to drive while tired. I think I'll grab a couple hours of sleep in the back of the cab. If you want to get your bike out of the back, you can do a little sightseeing until noon."

"Sounds good."

Together they went into the restaurant and, after using the facilities and freshening up, they sat down and ordered breakfast, consisting of bacon, eggs, hash browns and toast slathered with grape jelly. It was good, but Duo thought he enjoyed it more for having someone to talk to.

"So have you come to a decision yet?" Dwight asked after taking a drink of his coffee, his eyes fixed on his traveling companion.

"Yeah, and I think you're right. I should stop for a while, see if I can get my life back on track."

"Good!" The man beamed him a toothy grin. "So I should call my brother?"

"Yeah. And thanks, Dwight."

"I'll do that right after breakfast. With any luck, we'll be in Park City in the morning."

Duo felt both excited and anxious about the upcoming change in his life. He'd been on the road for so long he couldn't help but wonder if he would be able to stop for more than a couple of days without getting the itch to get back on his bike and ride off. Would he like the place Dwight had described? Would he enjoy the job and the people? Could he find a portion of normal in a small town in the mountains of Utah? Hell, he wasn't even sure where Utah was, but he thought it was close to California.

He got to thinking about this opportunity, and how his life had been a series of events and people who led him to the next step or phase in his life. Meeting Solo had given him an opportunity to be a part of a gang, to have a place in a throw-away society of misfits. His friend's death eventually led him to Father Maxwell and Sister Helen. They had provided him with the first real home he'd ever known. They had cared for him, gave him an education and showed him a different way of life from that of the streets. Their deaths and the destruction of the church and orphanage had caused him to flee L2, and that's when Howard had found him stowed away on his ship. Howard, in turn, introduced him to Professor G who gave him Deathscythe and all the education and training he needed to pilot the menacing black war machine. Deathscythe brought him to Earth, gave him the means to fight for the colonies against their oppressors, no matter what name his enemies called themselves. Deathscythe inadvertently led him to Heero, and he had ultimately brought him to Dwight, his big rig and to an opportunity to once again seize life by the horns and ride it. Hadn't Quatre said, "When one door closes another one opens?" He never realized before just how true that idiom was in contrast with his life.

Immediately after breakfast, Dwight had called his brother while Duo stood at the truck driver's side, waiting to see if there was indeed a position at the resort for him. Putting his hand over the mouthpiece, Dwight asked what skills he had, something his brother obviously needed to know. He told him he could fix just about anything mechanical, that he was adept at computers and could get along with anyone if he put his mind to it. As Dwight relayed his answer to his brother Brian, Duo couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't used his people skills to get along better with his own lover. Why had they fought so often and damaged what they meant to each other? He didn't have the answers, but knew that if he didn't want that to happen again in some future relationship, he needed to get some help, and he resolved to do just that... if he got the job, that is.

Dwight hung up the phone and smiled. "All set!" he declared. "I'll take you to his place of work when we get into town tomorrow and introduce you. He says he even has a place for employees to stay temporarily and charges only a minimal rent until they can get something more permanent. Sound good?"

"Sounds great!" Duo replied, and it did. Now if he could only get over the feeling of butterflies fluttering around in his belly, he'd be fine.

Brian Higgens was the younger of the two brothers, he had the same fair skin, eyes and nose of Dwight, but that was where the family resemblance ended. While Dwight's physique was a clear result of sitting in a truck for hours and days at a time and eating restaurant food three times a day, Brian was tan, lean and fit looking. His light brown hair was neatly cut and he had the appearance of a business man. It was obvious the two brothers were fond of each other by their interactions, warmly embracing each other and asking about their families. Duo was introduced and Dwight made his excuses for leaving, telling his brother he'd stop by in a couple of days, after unloading his run to Bakersfield and picking up a new one in Fresno. Duo only had time for a quick goodbye and a sincere thank you before Dwight told him they'd meet again soon. Then the man was gone and Brian was ushering him into his office with forms he needed to have filled out.

The new job wasn't as easy as Duo thought it would be. He made the mistake of giving Dwight his real name, one that didn't match his fake passport. Brian hired him despite the discrepancies, taking Duo's word that he wasn't running from the law. His job description was that of a maintenance worker, to be paid under the table for the time being because he lacked the official working visa. Business, he was told, though rather slow during the summer months, would pick up dramatically after the first snow fell in November. Meantime, there were repairs to make and general maintenance to keep the resort in top shape.

Being paid under the table and staying in the provided low-rent room allowed Duo time to acquire the papers that would allow to work legally in the U.S. The fake passport he'd used to get into the country, with the name Dominic Mazel as his I.D. It was close enough to his own name that Brian and his co workers could easily believe Duo was his nickname. He make a quick check of the background information he'd tagged onto the name, making sure everything would check out if he was ever investigated. After a couple of weeks he managed to get a green card and then a regular paycheck, with all the taxes required by the government taken out. Sadly, the total amount on his pay stub was a fraction of what he'd made as a Preventer.

Dwight had been right, there was a lot to do in the area surrounding the little mountain city. Duo soon fell in love with the area, the mountains, green valleys and surrounding lakes. The young people working at the resort, handling the summer tourists, were friendly and outgoing. They gladly accepted him into their group and together they explored the surrounding mountains and made good use of the outdoors. He learned how to ride a jet ski for the first time in his life, rode a mountain bike on rugged trails, and in the fall he went hunting with a couple of the guys from the lodge. He liked being outdoors and the excitement of the hunt, but decided after his first kill that he wasn't fond of shooting helpless animals. It seemed this group also liked to paintball, so he was able to impress them with his superior shooting skills in a completely safe, non-lethal manner. Life was good and his more natural and easy smile had finally returned.

By the time the first snow came, he had become familiar enough with the resort to be the lodge's answer man. If there was a problem, he not only knew the answer, but how to fix it. Brian, impressed by his many skills, gave him a raise in salary which made it possible for him to get a small apartment in the valley just below the hill on which the small city sat.

Snow was something he wasn't overly familiar with, and it amused his fellow workers to see him fall on his ass time after time before he finally got the hang of downhill skiing. As predicted, business soared as the snow depth increased, and before he knew it, the holidays were upon him.

Brian invited him to join his family on Christmas Eve, but Duo politely declined the offer. The one year anniversary of his breakup with Heero and leaving his job and friends was coming up, and with it came years of memories and more than a few regrets. He came to the decision sometime mid December that it was time to call Quatre. He'd been seeing a shrink for a little over a month, and his well-paid therapist thought it was a good idea for him to open the door to his past, letting his closest friend know he cared enough about him to put his mind at ease. The call's purpose was to ease any worry his friend might have about his well being, where he was or what he was doing.

Christmas Eve morning found Duo sitting on his cheap sofa with his new phone in hand, trying to dredge up the courage to follow up on his vow to call his best friend. Would Quatre be angry with him? Would he even want to talk to him at this point? He couldn't really blame him if he didn't, but still, he hoped his friend would forgive him for not contacting him for almost a year.

He'd already dialed Quatre's phone number several times and hung up just before the phone rang as panic overtook him. After calling himself every kind of stupid he could think of, he dialed once more, determined to get through his doubts and anxiety.

"Winner residence." Duo didn't recognize the female voice on the other end of the line, and could only guess that Quatre had hired some help. There were voices in the background as well, but he couldn't make anything out.

"May I speak to Quatre?"

"He's busy at the moment. If you'll leave your name and number, I'll make sure he receives your message."

He hadn't considered not getting through to Quatre, especially on Christmas Eve. "I really think if he's there that he'll want to speak with me. It's a family matter." He figured that reason would do the trick in luring Quatre to the phone. After all, his friend had an extensive family that he cared deeply for.

"You don't wish to give me your name?"

"I'd rather not, if you don't mind. Please tell him, and him only, that it's an old friend calling."

The other side of the phone went still as the woman considered his vague message. "If you'll hold the line, I'll deliver your message."

He waited for three minutes, and began to worry whether or not he could afford the price of the international call. Glancing down at his watch, he decided to give Quatre another minute to answer before hanging up, when suddenly his friend's familiar voice came over the line. "Hello?"

"Hi, Quatre."

There was a shocked pause before the blond whispered his name, having recognized his voice, as he knew he probably would. "Yeah, it's me. Sorry it's taken so long for me to get in touch."

"A year, Duo." There was anger in the other man's voice. "I've had a whole year to worry about you, wondering if you were alive and well or rotting in some gutter somewhere. How could you do that to me, or to the rest of the guys for that matter?"

"I'm sorry, Quat." Duo rushed to say as soon as he took a breath. "I just wasn't ready. I know you're mad at me, and you have every reason to be, but I just wanted to call to let you know I'm alright and to wish you and Trowa a Merry Christmas. I'm sure it's a lot better than it was last year."

"Duo." A long sigh came from his blond friend, and he wondered if he should just hang up. "Where are you?"

"In the U.S."

"Are you purposely being vague?"

"Yes."

"Have you got a job? A place to stay?"

"I'm not a complete incompetent, despite what you guys think. I have a job, an apartment and I've even made some friends."

"Anyone special in your life?"

"Only my shrink," he chuckled, thinking about the man he met with at least once a week. "But I'm not so sure he's happy I walked through his door. I think he's the one having nightmares now."

Quatre's voice gentled further with sincerity as he said, "I'm glad, Duo. Are you going to be coming back soon?"

He really wished his friend hadn't asked that particular question. "No, not soon."

"Why not?"

"I'm just not ready."

"I miss you, Duo, and so do the others. They'll be so relieved to know you're alright. Everyone is here tonight, do you want to talk to them?"

An immediate feeling of panic welled up inside of him after hearing that bit of information. "Heero's there, too?"

Pause. "Yes."

He honestly couldn't stop himself from asking, "Is he with someone?"

The pause this time was longer, giving him the answer he dreaded more than anything. He hadn't intended to ask any questions about Heero, not ready to deal with it. However, he had asked, and Quatre felt he had to answer. "I'm sorry, Duo. But Heero's engaged."

"Don't say anything else, okay," he blurted out, anguished by the knowledge that Heero loved someone more than he had loved him. He never once suggested to him that they make their partnership legal. "Listen, I gotta go. I don't make a lot of money and I really can't afford this call. Wish everyone a Merry Christmas for me."

"Wait, Duo," Quatre rushed to say before he hung up. "Listen, call me collect next time. I want to keep in touch with you."

"I don't want anyone else knowing where I am, Quatre. You're my best friend and all, but I've still got a lot of healing to do."

"Then email me. I've kept my old email address in case you tried contacting me that way. Write to me about your life, your new friends. Let me know if there is anything you need, anything I can do to bring you back to us again. I'm not exaggerating when I say we all miss you, Duo. Even Heero. He went ballistic when he found out you never returned from your vacation. He even searched for you until Une got wind of it and convinced him that you didn't want to be found and that he should leave you alone to sort things out for yourself."

"And now he's engaged." Duo couldn't help the bitterness from creeping into his voice, in fact he was surprised he could speak at all considering the lump of emotions stuck in his throat. "I'm not all that surprised he got over me so quickly. Guess our relationship was more one sided than I thought."

"Duo, you can't..."

He cut off whatever his friend was going to say, not wanting to hear about Heero, his fiancee or how he got over him so quickly, especially when he was still pining over the other man. "Stop, Quat. Like I said, I gotta go. Merry Christmas." He abruptly ended the call and stood for a moment with the phone gripped tightly in his hand, stunned by the news of Heero's engagement. In an act of frustration he threw down the phone onto the sofa and stomped into the kitchen to grab a couple of beers. He was sorry now that he ever made the call. This had to be the worst Christmas ever, he decided, even surpassing the rotten one the year before. Holidays like Christmas were made for families, not for people like him who were all alone and lonely.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimers: I make no profit from writing about GW and its characters.

**When One Door Opens  
By: Dyna Dee**

**Part 3**

Returning to work the day after Christmas, Duo had no trouble losing himself in his job, where there was always plenty to do with ski season in full swing. During the hours he wasn't working, he skied, moving from two skis to a snowboard, and in the evenings he hung around the lodge where the steady flow of sociable tourists continued to distract him from his thoughts. The snow remained plentiful, powdery, and lasted until May. As the weather warmed and business slowed, Brian insisted he take some time off and refused to take no for an answer.

Duo spent his first day off cleaning his apartment from top to bottom. The second day he packed away all his winter gear and stored it in the corner of his bedroom closet. After that, he really didn't know what to do with himself. Having no desire to travel, he remained in town and decided to take a day to become better acquainted with Park City. There were the usual tourist shops and cafes in the small city, along with a great deal of art galleries. It seemed not only lost souls fled to the mountains to hide or find themselves, but also artists, who seemed to thrive there.

Having wandered into one of the many art galleries, he gazed appreciatively at the wonderful bright colors that were used in a landscape painting done with oils. It was a stunning piece, capturing the colorful mountains and forests surrounding Park City during the fall, when the trees were arrayed with orange and yellow leaves and the hills were covered in patches of green and a gold velvety brown.

"Like it?" a slightly amused male voice asked from behind him.

He turned around to see a man he guessed to be in his early thirties, looking down at him. _Damn_, he thought, _this guy's as tall as Trowa_. But it was predominantly Quatre he was reminded of when the man smiled at him and brushed his wavy blond hair away from his blue eyes. The man was handsome, with strong chiseled features that were put together very nicely, but it was his smile that was nothing short of stunning. At second thought, it was Milliardo Peacecraft he resembled more than Quatre, with his rock star good looks. "Yes, I do like it," Duo replied with a friendly grin. Noting that Adonis was wearing a blue dress shirt with a stylish tie and pleated khaki dress pants, he figured the man worked at the gallery. "I don't know much about art," he confessed, hoping to carry on a conversation with the salesman. "But I know what I like, and I like the brightness of the colors in this painting. It speaks to me of something new, of happiness."

The man seemed pleased by his simple statement. "James Denton," the taller man said, offering his hand.

"Duo," he replied, taking the other's hand in his own and noticing the softness of his palm as they shook.

"Are you a visitor to Park City, Duo?" There was a spark in the man's eyes that told him the salesman was interested in him as something other than a potential customer.

"No, I work at the resort. I've got a few days off and decided to see what there was around here besides snow."

"I'm glad you stopped by," the tall blond said. Duo noticed the quick once over the man gave him. He was definitely being checked out. "Is there anything in the gallery I can interest you in?" Duo paused to judge the other man's meaning, was it innocent or a come on. Then the taller man gave a saucy grin and a wink, confirming that he was indeed flirting with him. Without waiting for his reply, the salesman continued. "We have several artists featured here and I can tell you about their paintings or the artist themselves."

"You know them personally?"

"We're all local and take turns working the shop."

"Are you an artist?" It dawned on him that he probably was if he was working there.

"That's my painting you were admiring." The blond motioned to the bright picture of the mountains draped in fall colors.

"You're very talented." It was an honest compliment. "Wish I had the kind of dough to buy something like that."

"That you appreciate it is good enough for me," the blond said, and Duo had the idea he was being sincere in return. He guessed that most artists would like to have their labors appreciated. "If you're just checking out the city, have you tried the new bistro down the block? They have a great lunch menu."

It was obvious that Mr. Denton was cautiously exploring any possibilities with him, and Duo wondered if he was going to actually ask him out. Then he paused to ask himself if he wanted him to. "No, haven't tried that place yet. I don't eat out much. On a budget."

The artist nodded as if he understood. "Tell you what. I've just had a very good season and even sold a painting last night, so I'm in the mood to celebrate and make a new friend as well. Would you care to join me for lunch? My treat, of course."

Duo congratulated himself for having read the other man right. He could say no to his offer, and knew that if he did it would be the end of the pleasant chat and they'd both go their own way, no harm done. Or he could look at this as one of those opportunities life handed him, waiting for him to take a chance that might change his future once again. Did he want to take a chance on this guy? Could he really trust someone again? He'd made considerable progress with his shrink, or so the man told him, and had worked through some of his anger and insecurity issues that had developed from his less than ideal childhood. The doctor had been encouraging him to reach out to others, to try and form deeper friendships again, to learn to trust others while realizing that no one was perfect and that his trust in them would most likely be tested from time to time. _Why the hell not_? he asked himself. Heero had moved on and was probably married by now. It was time he got on with his life, too.

With a quick glance around the gallery, he could it was empty except for the two of them. "You can just up and leave this place?" he asked in a dubious tone.

"All I have to do is lock the door and put a note on it that I'll be back in an hour... or so," he amended with a grin.

Duo didn't know about the "or so" part, but he was willing to have lunch with the guy to see if there was maybe more than a physical attraction going on between them. "All right," he agreed. "Can you leave now?"

Pulling a set of keys out of his pocket, the taller man took hold of his arm and conducted him to the door. "Please, just tell me you aren't a vegetarian," James said as they walked out the doorway.

Duo couldn't help but laugh at that request. "Not a chance in hell, Jim. You don't mind if I call you Jim, do you?" he asked with a cheeky grin.

The man gave him a frown that eased into a warm smile, then in a teasing manner and another wink he replied, "That's definitely negotiable. You see, only my closest friends and occasionally a lover can get away with calling Jim."

That one-hour lunch proved to be the opportunity Duo thought it might be. James, or rather Jim, as Duo continued call him simply because he knew the other man preferred to be called by his proper name, proved to be a gentleman and a real charmer. He asked Duo about his life, where he'd come from and how had come to be in Park City and actually looked as if he was really interested. Duo hedged quite a bit, telling the artist it was a long story and that he wasn't really comfortable talking about his past, seeing they barely knew each other. Jim said he understood, then proved he didn't share that particular hang up when he began to tell Duo a bit about his own life, having grown up on the east coast, graduating from a notable art school when he was twenty two, and eventually found himself living and working happily in the mountains. Jim confessed, in a rather attractive, apologetic way, to not being a great outdoors man, but that he liked skiing in the winter and hiking in the spring and fall. Summer, he told Duo, was a time he usually dedicated to painting in preparation for the next winter season when Park City swelled with tourists.

After a very enjoyable lunch, Duo walked Jim back to the gallery where the other man asked if he would care to get together that evening, perhaps taking in a light dinner and a movie. Having enjoyed the artist's company that afternoon, he accepted, telling himself that he really didn't have anything else to do that night, so why not?

The evening proved to be as enjoyable as lunch had been, and for the first time in a very long while Duo found himself attracted to someone. With that realization came a glimmer of hope that he might finally be getting over Heero and ready to move on. Excitement, something akin to being the very first person tohit the untouched slopes after a fresh fall of snow, began to grow within him at the prospect of being close to someone again. In the year and a half since he'd left Sanq, he'd only had sex a couple of times, and that happened while he was on the road. Since his arrival in Park City he'd been preoccupied with work and his shrink. So out of necessity he'd put any thoughts of romance on the back burner.

The two men had their second date the following Friday. The sexual attraction between them grew quickly as they became more comfortable with each other. When Jim pulled his car up in front of Duo's apartment building, it seemed only natural to share a goodnight kiss. Duo had no intention of going any further, wanting to move cautiously and not to jump into a physical relationship before he found out if he and Jim were truly compatible. But after being celibate for over a year, it didn't take long before that one kiss led to a heavy make-out session, which had him pretty damn close to throwing away all his good intentions before Duo forced himself to pull back. Jim said he understood, and was willing to wait until he felt more comfortable. Duo appreciated his understanding and they made another date for the next night.

Having said goodnight a second time, Duo let himself into his apartment and sat on his sofa to think things over. He was horny as hell, having been so close to having sex. Still, he held back from letting Jim go any further than palming him through his jeans. Sure, he was attracted to Jim, and liked him... a lot, so what was the big deal about not getting down and dirty with the guy? Most single men, straight or gay, didn't usually turn down the opportunity to have sex with someone they were attracted to, even after a short acquaintance, or at least that's what he'd been led to believe. But he didn't think he was like most guys. Even though he'd already met and lost the one love of his life, he really didn't want to sleep with a bunch of potential Heero fill-ins before settling for someone who might never compare favorably to his former lover. Before sleeping with Jim, he wanted to talk to someone, hopefully another guy who knew something about healthy gay relationships. Unfortunately, his list of friends in Park City was rather limited, and as far as he knew no one of his acquaintance was gay. Without much forethought, his hand was on the phone and he found himself dialing Quatre's number.

It was morning on the other side of the world, which was lucky for him because he caught the blond executive at home.

"Duo?"

"Hey, Quat. How are you? It's not too early is it?"

There was a moment of silence before a pissed off voice came over the line. He had to wonder if his friend would always be mad at him. "You said you'd email me. Why haven't you? I check it several times a day, every day since Christmas and never once did you write me. I thought we were friends, Duo. I thought I meant more to you than that."

Quatre had him there. He should have emailed him, but he honestly wanted to remain ignorant about Heero and how good his former lover's life was without him. He couldn't bear to hear that the man he was trying so hard to get over was deliriously in love and happy. He gave Quatre the easiest, most believable reason he could think of for not emailing him as promised. "I don't have a computer."

"You couldn't have gone to a library or cyber café or something?" His voice still sounded angry.

"Guess I could have scouted around for one, but I'm busy during business hours."

"Duo." It was clear that Quatre didn't believe him, even though he spoke the truth.

Leaning his head back against the back of the sofa, Duo closed his eyes and said, "It was just too hard, Quat. After learning about Heero at Christmas, I just didn't want to hear about how happy he is. I know he's your friend and I'm sorry if I hurt you by not emailing, but I've got to protect my heart from being torn apart again."

There was a pause as Quatre considered what he'd said. "I guess I can understand that, but I do care about you and I don't want you to hurt anymore either. If my telling you about Heero being engaged pushed you away, I sincerely apologize, and you have my word that I'll not volunteer anything more about his life, good or bad, unless you ask me. I just miss you, Duo, and I don't want you out in the world by yourself hurting, not having anyone to turn to. You're my friend, my best friend. Did you ever think that I might need you? I don't even know where you are. If I needed you, how would I ever contact you to let you know? What if something happened to myself or the others? Are you so removed from us that you wouldn't want to know or help?"

"Of course not," Duo rushed to answer, horrified and remorseful after realizing how selfish he'd been. "I'm sorry, Quat. I've only been thinking about myself. Things got all screwed up during the last couple of years, didn't they? And here I've bungled another important relationship."

"I'm still your friend, Duo. I always will be." He could hear the emotion in Quatre's voice, that the blond man was as upset as he was. "But friendship is a two-way street. I want you to be a part of my life, yet your behavior has me wondering whether or not you want to be friends any longer."

"Of course I do," he answered quickly, his heart aching from having caused his buddy to doubt their friendship. "In fact, that's why I called. I need some advice and you're the only person I can turn to."

"Is something wrong?" Quatre instantly shifted into a worried mode.

"I've met someone."

Silence followed that statement and Duo wondered if Quatre was shocked or pleased by what he'd said. "I'm glad, Duo. Tell me about him."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Duo began to tell his friend about Jim, that he was a very talented painter whose blond good looks and charismatic personality reminded him of both Quatre and Milliardo Peacecraft. He explained how their relationship was quickly progressing, but that he was worried about having sex with him. Was he rushing it? Was it too soon?

"How do you feel about him, Duo? Do you love him?"

"I didn't think I had to be in love to have sex with someone," Duo replied, trying to sound casual about a subject he felt was anything but casual.

"I didn't have a physical relationship with Trowa until after I knew I loved him and that he felt the same way about me. I haven't slept with anyone other than Trowa, so I'm not sure I can be objective about what you're asking. How old is Jim and has he told you about his past partners?"

"He's thirty one and yes, he's had his share of boyfriends and has had two serious relationships. He says he's looking for a long-term relationship, hopefully one that will last a lifetime." He paused before adding in a more thoughtful tone, "I want that too, Quat. I don't want to do the gay club scene or sleep around until I find someone who means something more than just a good time in bed. I just never envisioned myself to be that kind of person, I guess. Jim seems like a good man. He's kind and he treats me like I'm good enough and he acts like he's happy to be seen with me. After only two dates he's done a world of good for my self esteem, which had pretty much hit rock bottom by the time Heero left me. I realize I've only known him a short time, but I think I could be happy with him."

"Are you trying to convince me you're ready to go to bed with him, or are you trying to convince yourself?"

"I hate it when you do that," Duo snapped irritably, realizing that Quatre had avoided giving his opinion by throwing his question back.

"What?" Quatre asked, sounding innocent.

"Really, Quat. What should I do?"

"Trowa told me he'd once been given very good advice, to follow his heart. I think that's what you should do, Duo."

That hurt, knowing the conversation his friend referred to had been between Heero and Trowa. Quatre knew that too, so the blond couldn't help but understand who he was asking about when, despite his best intentions not to inquire about his former lover, he asked, "How is he?"

"Do you really want to know?"

He paused to consider that question. Did he really want to know about Heero? How would he feel knowing his former lover was living happily without him? Would he be miserable knowing that? Maybe he could finally move on and make a life, possibly with Jim, if he knew without a doubt that Heero was completely removed from the picture. "Yeah, I want to know."

"He and his girlfriend broke up just after Christmas." Although Quatre was normally discrete and careful about not repeating gossip, when the opportunity was appropriate he gossiped better than an old lady at her weekly hair appointment. Now, having received his permission, he could tell that Quatre was bursting to tell him everything he knew. But first...

"Girlfriend!" For some reason that possibility had never entered his mind.

"You have to understand that Heero was very upset when he found out that you weren't coming back," Quatre rushed to explain. "He cut us out of his life for awhile, blaming us for your leaving. Wufei saw him more than Trowa and I, and he told us Heero was in a dark place, that he was reacting out of anger and hurt. After graduating from the university, most of his friends at school moved away to jobs in other countries, leaving Heero basically floundering. I can only guess that he became lonely because he initiated contact with us again. He told us he had moved in with one of his university friends and that he'd landed a job at a local high school teaching history, just as he planned. We found out about his being engaged on Christmas Eve, just before your phone call and apparently a day after his proposal. I'll never forget the dazed look in his eyes when she made the announcement."

"Moving that fast doesn't seem like Heero, does it?" Inwardly, Duo was shocked by what seemed to be rash behavior on Heero's part. "We danced around each other for most of the war before we even had our first kiss. I knew when we broke up that he would eventually move on, but I don't know, considering this is Heero we're talking about, he seems to be moving rather quickly. We were together for a couple of years and marriage was never brought up."

"He changed, Duo. Restless, or perhaps lost is the only way I can think of describing him during the first year you were gone."

"I know those feelings too damn well," he admitted. "They're what kept me on the road for so long."

"But now you're settled?"

"For the time being. I like it here, but who knows what tomorrow will bring."

"Or how things will turn out between you and Jim, right?"

Duo scratched his head a moment, suddenly feeling uncomfortable speaking about the guy he was seriously contemplating having sex with. He wondered if he felt that way because he'd just finished talking about Heero. Why did it suddenly feel like he was being disloyal to his former lover when contemplating having sex with Jim? Was it because Heero was once again free? He was just about to lecture himself on the ridiculousness of that idea when his friend on the other side of the phone line continued.

"Will you tell me where you live, Duo?" Quatre's question succeeded in bringing him back to the conversation. "You obviously have a phone, will you give me your number?"

He knew that to refuse him would make Quatre feel badly, and he didn't want to hurt him any more than he already had. "Got a pen?" He gave him his address and phone number after securing his promise not to give it to anyone else.

After profusely thanking him for the information, Quatre's voice turned regretful. "I hate to do this, Duo, but I have a meeting I have to attend in forty minutes. Can I call you tonight, or rather in the morning your time?"

"There's a good chance I might not be here if you call after eight, I have to be at work by then."

"What do you think you're going do about Jim?"

Duo considered for only a moment before suddenly making up his mind; he was going to stay the night at Jim's. He liked the good-looking artist, was physically attracted to him, and without too much effort he could envision them becoming closer, maybe even falling in love and wanting to spend their free time in each other's company. Surely those were good enough reasons to have sex with the man.

He had to wonder if Quatre could sense his thoughts over the phone line when his friend asked, "So you're going to go ahead and sleep with him?"

"I really like him, Quatre. I might not be in love with him yet, but with the healthy dose of lust between us, I'm sure my feelings for him will grow."

"Be careful, Duo. I know that when you set your mind to something you're as tenacious as a thirsty camel heading for water."

"You mean as stubborn as a mule?" The braided man chuckled, knowing his friend was right about him in that respect.

"Look how long you hung onto your relationship with Heero, even after it began to fall apart."

It took the braided man a moment to respond to that, shocked by his friend bringing up that painful period in his life as an example of his stubbornness. "Wouldn't you have hung onto Trowa just as desperately if you thought you were about to lose him?"

The conversation had taken an uncomfortable turn for the both of them. When the man on the other side of the world replied, it came in a more somber voice. "You're right. I would do everything in my power to keep Trowa by my side. He's the love of my life."

"That's the way I felt about Heero."

"Do you still love him, Duo?"

He took a deep breath to think about it, knowing there was nothing to consider. He knew the answer as well as he knew his own name. "Yes. But I'm trying my best to put him behind me."

"You love him and yet you're still going to sleep with Jim?"

"Listen," Duo began with a huff. "I may still love Heero but that didn't guarantee us a happy ever after, did it? We started out happy, but somewhere along the line I wasn't good enough for him. The longer he was at the university the more I seemed to embarrass him, and then he tried to change me which led to all the fighting, well, that and our stubborn natures. For some stupid reason that I can't even begin to understand, I still love him. But what good is that? I'm tired of being alone, and with Jim I might have a chance for good relationship and someone to share my life with, like I did with Heero in the beginning. Why should I put that aside for a past, defunct relationship, one that Heero walked away from?"

There was a pause before Quatre said in a more serious tone of voice, "I hate to break it to you, Duo, but you were the one who walked away."

Blue-violet eyes blinked with surprise. "No, he left me, moved out of our apartment as soon as he could. It was pretty damn clear he was done with me, with us."

"Is that what you think?" There was surprise as well as a hint of anger in the blond's voice. "By the colonies, Duo, you're an idiot."

"I thought you had a meeting?" he reminded the blond, put off by his friend's sudden change of attitude and not wanting to get a lecture from him on a subject that had been decided long ago.

"We need to talk about this, Duo. Don't do anything with Jim until we talk again, alright?"

"Unless you can call back by eight in the morning my time, don't hold your breath."

"I'll call, but it might be evening rather than the morning. Just answer the phone when it rings."

"You better get moving or you're going to be late. I'll talk to you later."

Their goodbye was rushed, as he was sure Quatre was when he undoubtedly flew out the door to make it to his meeting on time. The blond businessman was meticulous about so many details in his life. If he had a big meeting, he would not only want to look confident and at his best, but be completely prepared, and getting there looking flustered wouldn't help in giving that impression.

Duo went to bed a short while later feeling tired but restless. His conversation with Quatre had kept sleep at bay for a long while. He thought about what his friend told him about Heero. It seemed his former lover was having a bit of trouble after all in finding the happiness he sought after walking out their apartment door. He couldn't gloat over Heero's situation, but it was a bit of a relief to know he wasn't the only one having a hard time moving on.

He woke up thirty minutes late the next morning. His tossing and turning from angry and erotic dreams filled with both Heero and Jim had disrupted his sleep. He was rather glad Quatre hadn't managed to call because he really didn't have time to talk or he'd be late for work. Regardless of being tired, he rushed to the resort and hoped the day would pass quickly.

Since speaking to Quatre about Heero the night before, Duo couldn't seem to get his former lover out of his mind. He tried to shake the haunting memory of Heero from his thoughts, but found himself thinking about his former lover off and on throughout the day.

He planned on going home to freshen up before his date that evening, even as he continued to wrestle over whether or not he should have sex with Jim. His date wasn't necessarily expecting tonight to be _the_ night, so he didn't feel pressure from Jim's end, but with his thoughts turning more frequently towards Heero he was more determined than ever to remove them, or at least push them back into a more comfortable corner of his mind until they were but a dim memory. What better way was there to accomplish that than to launch into a new relationship? He'd replace memories of an old lover by building new ones with Jim.

The idea came to him that maybe he should talk to his shrink about this very important decision, but he already knew what the man would say. "Are you clear about your reasons for moving this relationship forward? Are you rushing into a sexual relationship for the right reasons? How will this relationship factor into your plans for your future? Of course he'd thought about those questions, but he was also lonely, horny as hell, and had a hot, interesting guy as a potential partner who wanted him as well. He would be an idiot to pass up this opportunity, wouldn't he?

He drove home, shaved, showered and dressed with care. The phone rang a few minutes after seven. He glanced at it and debated whether or not he should answer the call. Quatre wanted to talk, and for some reason he was apprehensive about what his far away friend had to say. The blond had a habit of questioning his judgment and motives whenever he disagreed with him. He'd already made his mind up to sleep with Jim and he wasn't going to be deterred by his well-meaning friend. Talking about his past with Heero wasn't going help his mood or change his decision about having sex later that night, if Jim was willing, and all indications showed that he was.

He held himself back from answering the phone, but moved close enough to hear the message when the answering machine picked up the call. Quatre's irritated voice came over the machine loud and clear. "Duo, you said you'd pick up the phone when I called. If you're there, pick up." The man on the other side of the planet waited a moment before continuing. "Listen, before you do anything, we need to talk. I think you've got things twisted around in that beautiful head of yours. Heero didn't want to leave you, he just wanted a break from the fighting. He knew he was hurting you but didn't know how to stop. You were right, he was feeling pressure from his friends at school to find someone more to their liking. I don't know why he felt their opinions were so valuable, but I do know they contributed to his actions and how he made you feel. He's unhappy, Duo..."

At that point Duo fled the apartment, not wanting to hear about how Heero was feeling. He already knew that Heero had been influenced by his friends at the university and their negative view of him, believing he wasn't good enough, smart or... civilized. Jim didn't seem to be bothered by anything about him. The educated, talented artist accepted him as he was, not even knowing that he'd been a gundam pilot or Preventer agent. Jim only knew him as the handyman at the local resort and was still interested in pursuing a relationship between them. That was the kind of acceptance he'd craved from Heero. Maybe he wasn't head over heels in love with Jim, but because he was strongly attracted to him, enjoyed his company and genuinely liked the man, he was convinced that it was enough to pursue a relationship with him, and hopefully, in time, love would come his way again.

Blocking out Quatre's words and promising myself to call the man back in the morning with an apology, he put on his jacket, got on his motorcycle and drove to Jim's condo, excited and nervous about what the night would bring.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**When One Door Closes  
**Dyna Dee  
Warnings: Yaoi, male/male sex. At least an R rating for this section.  
**Part 4**

Jim opened the door at his knock, smiling broadly. The tall blond looked good dressed in straight-leg denim jeans and a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Duo quickly dismissed the image that flashed through his mind of Heero dressed in a similar manner. The taller man happily ushered him into his condo, took his jacket and laid a welcoming kiss on him that promised a great night to come.

The wonderful aroma coming from the kitchen had his empty stomach churning with anticipation of a good, home-cooked meal. With an arm around his waist, the artist led him to the small dinning table, which was already set for two and lit by candles. He could tell Jim had gone all out for their supposedly simple meal at home.

"Wow!" he said, admiring the table. "Special occasion?"

"I can only hope," the artist with a wink and teasing grin.

The blond pulled out the chair for him, indicating where he wanted Duo to sit, then excused himself to the kitchen to get the food. The braided man was relieved that the other man hadn't pushed the chair in for him. He wasn't a woman nor a submissive kind of guy and wasn't about to be treated like one. Jim returned with a bowl filled with some kind of pasta dish that had a light, sweet tomato sauce flavored with bacon, onion, garlic and spices. He also presented a fresh salad, French bread and sweet corn. Everything tasted wonderful. During the meal Jim's stockinged foot often stray, becoming intimately friendly with Duo's legs and upper thighs, wordlessly indicating that the blond was hoping things would progress further between them tonight.

They retired to the sofa to eat their dessert with a cup of coffee, sitting side by side. Duo had eaten flan before, but couldn't say it was his favorite dessert. He'd have been happy to have something more simple, like a bowl of ice cream or some popcorn.

After they finished, Jim suggested they watch a movie. Duo was a bit surprised that his date turned on gay porn, but he wasn't about to state any objection and risk being called a prude, so he said nothing. Jim's lips soon found his neck and then his hands began to explore Duo's body as soon as the two men on the screen began to undress each other. Their frank sexual talk about what they wanted to do to each other seemed to make Jim bolder. Duo's own body responded to the sights and sounds in front of him, not to mention Jim's hands moving gently but with confidence under his shirt. As warm lips moved up along his jaw, he couldn't help but breathe in the heady scent of blond man. No doubt about it, with just a hint of musk cologne mixed with his natural scent, Jim smelled fantastic.

It wasn't long before they were into a heated make-out session, with shirts removed and pants undone. "Let's move this to the bedroom," Jim whispered in his ear. Duo nodded and let the artist pull him up from the sofa and lead him by the hand to his bedroom.

The bedroom door was left open to allow the light from the hallway to spill into the room. Once inside, Jim turned and began to remove Duo's pants. With slightly shaky hands he did the same for the taller man until the both of them were standing naked in front of each other. Gazing at each other, Duo found himself a bit disappointed that Jim's cock, which was fully erect and looking needy for attention, wasn't as large as he imagined he would be. For some reason he equated tall in statue with also being well endowed. He hid his disappointment by smiling at the blond in an approving way, knowing how important it was for a man to feel adequate in that department. Although Duo knew he wasn't large in stature, he was somewhat blessed to sport a decent woody. Jim licked his lips with either anticipation or envy then reached forward and grabbed hold of Duo, pulling him close to his chest and tumbled them together onto the bed, their lips and hips joining together in a rather delicious way.

They hadn't spoken about positions, but Duo decided since Jim was probably more experienced than he was at sleeping with other men, and given that they were in his bed, he'd let Jim top. To be honest, it was pretty good. They both experienced a good measure of satisfaction from their first romp, yet a moment after the blond pulled out of him, Duo felt a rush of disappointment. He tried to hide it and believed he'd succeeded when Jim fell down beside him, pulling him into his arms at the same time.

"That was wonderful," the blond whispered raggedly as he caught his breath. "Thank you."

Duo hummed into his shoulder, hoping Jim would believe he was beyond words to describe what a wonderful lover he was. The other man must have sensed something was wrong, for his next words were those of encouragement. "As we learn more about each other's bodies, sex together will get better and better. We can even get creative, which adds to the fun."

As the blond shifted to take off the used condom, an alarm went off in Duo's head. "What do you mean by creative?" he asked warily as Jim turned back to him and took him back into his arms, his hands immediately moving down to cup both cheeks of his slightly aching bottom. The artist's fingers slipped down the crevice between his cheeks to swirl around his tender opening, as if he had plans to invade there again.

"Oh, nothing to worry about," Jim assured him, kissing his forehead. "I've learned that a little play in the bedroom can liven up a relationship."

Duo relaxed a bit. He'd had a lot of fun between the sheets with Heero, but they hadn't been into kinky stuff. Neither of them liked being tied up nor did they like anything that made them feel degraded, probably a result of being prisoners of war. Duo decided to wait and see what Jim had in mind, and if he tried something he didn't like, he wouldn't hesitate to tell him no.

A long finger slipped into him again and began to tease and stretch the entrance. "You were so tight," Jim whispered into his ear. "I can't wait to take you again."

Duo let his own hand wander to the same place on Jim's body, and he couldn't help but notice a slight flinch from the other man as he similarly teased his entrance. "I think it's my turn to do the taking," he said with a teasing smile.

Jim leaned back, his mood turning somber while his blue eyes studied Duo's face. In a serious tone he stated, "I'm, not a bottom, Duo."

"What?" He blinked at that statement.

"I'm strictly a top. I thought you understood that."

"You've never been a bottom? Ever?" Duo sounded as incredulous as he felt.

"Oh, I tried it once and hated it. I'm definitely a top."

Duo blinked again, rather stupidly he was afraid, trying to comprehend how he should take such a stance. "Well I'm not a total bottom," he told the other man. "My previous lover and I took turns. I just assumed that was part of being in a relationship, the give and take."

Jim smiled fondly at him, as if he were a child and touched his nose with his finger. "Not to worry, my pretty boy. I can make that lovely cock of yours happy enough, but other than my mouth, it won't be going inside of me."

Duo instinctively pulled out of the other man's grasp and sat up, startled by his pronouncement and insulted by being called "pretty boy". Jim's indulgent smile wavered slightly. "Duo, don't let this upset you. I promise you'll be satisfied every time we have sex."

_Satisfied? Maybe I'll manage to find release_, he thought. _But happy about being the bottom every time? Not a chance in hell. _"What makes you think I want to be a permanent bottom?" he asked over his shoulder.

"It's obvious. Just look at you, Duo." Jim's eyes wandered up and down his naked back with obvious admiration. "You're not only gorgeous but also boyishly slender, petite even. You're also younger than me by nearly a decade. You've been hurt in the past and it's obvious you look to me to guide you, to take care of you. And believe me, Duo, I do know how to take care of a man."

Duo could only stare at the other man with shock reverberating through him. _Petite_! Sure, he wasn't considered tall, especially compared to Jim's height of six foot something, but he was anything but frail and helpless. He paused a moment to consider what Jim had suggested, that he'd been attracted to the older man for the very things he'd just stated. Sure, he was drawn to strong men, always had been. He'd been in the company of strong males for most of his life so he felt naturally comfortable in their company. Also, knowing he could be headstrong and stubborn as a mule, he instinctively sought out someone equally strong who could deal with those traits and dish a bit of it back to him. He certainly wasn't drawn to another man's strengths because of a need to be taken care of or protected, as Jim had suggested.

Strength. From their very first meeting it was strength that had attracted him to the mysterious gundam pilot he'd later come to know as Heero Yuy Sure, the boy from L1 had been drool worthy attractive even as a teenager, but it wasn't just his looks that had Duo fixated on the other boy and questioning his sexuality back then. The main draw had been Heero's incredible strength. Not only could he bend steel bars with his bare hands, but he also had nerves of gundanium, doing what needed to be done without hesitation and looking death squarely in the eye numerous times and giving it the finger. Heero's unwavering dedication and resolve to win the war was as much a turn on as his deep blue eyes were the first time Duo caught them watching him as he undressed in the locker room of one of the schools they'd stayed in.

An ache began go grow within his chest as memories of the past, of Heero, returned. _Damn but I miss him._ After experiencing the kind of attraction he'd had for his former lover, which quickly turned into a love that was at times overwhelming, could he really settle for anything less? Compared to what he'd felt for Heero, could he go through the rest of his life settling for a shadow of what he'd once had? Did he really want to be with someone who wanted to treat him as if he were weak and incapable of standing on his own, of not being able to make care for himself? Did he want a lover who always took the lead when they had sex? _I don't fuck'n think so._

"Listen, Jim, I'm not sure I'm alright with this."

The artist's hand landed on his knee and slowly moved up his thigh, no doubt trying to distract him. "Just give it some time, Duo. I'm sure we can work things out."

He wasn't in the mood to go another round with Jim, and at the back of his mind he wished he'd answered Quatre's phone call. Despite the obvious downturn in his mood, Jim remained persistent and used his talented hands and lips to prove the artist did indeed know how to arouse and satisfy another man, moving sensuously across Duo's body until he began to respond again. As pleasure began to build, as well as the need for release, Duo wondered if he was being hasty in wanting to end things between them. Maybe Jim was right and with time they could work things out.

The experienced blond was apparently trying to appease him when he laid down on the bed, resting on his back, and maneuvering Duo to sit on his pelvis. As their bodies joined together once again, Jim let him take charge, allowing him to set the pace this time.

Completion, Duo found, was a bit more difficult to achieve the second time around, having spent themselves not too much earlier. He closed his eyes, setting a steady yet unrushed pace, picturing in his mind a night years ago in a position almost identical to the one he found himself in now. His hands had been planted on a strong, warm and brown-skinned chest, while the moans and grunts he heard came from lips that had promised happiness after the war was over and if they somehow survived. The hand that sought to bring him to completion was not soft from wielding a paintbrush, but strong and calloused from piloting a gundam. He bit his lower lip in an effort not to cry out Heero's name as he found finally his release.

Unfortunately, moments after he'd come that sense of disappointment filled Duo once again. And on top of that came a feeling of guilt for having imagined Heero in Jim's place. _What's wrong with me?_ he asked himself as he slumped down onto Jim's sweaty and slightly heaving chest.

A rumble of amusement sounded under his ear. "Ah, this is going to be great," Jim sighed, sounding utterly pleased and content. "We're compatible in so many ways. Stay the night?" His hand had slipped from Duo's waist to cup his bottom again, sending the message that Jim wanted more from him, not right at that moment, of course, but probably in the morning. A sudden and desperate urge to get up and run hit the braided man like a ton of bricks.

"I can't," he said abruptly, hoping he sounded a bit regretful as he slipped away from Jim, wrinkling his nose at the heavy smell of sex that lingered on his body. "I've got an early morning appointment with a vendor. Maybe another night."

Jim rose up on an elbow and watched as he fumbled around for his clothing. The squishy feeling of the heavy coat of lube between his butt cheeks was uncomfortable, but he wasn't about to make a detour to the bathroom when all he wanted was to get the hell out of there.

"You're sure I just can't set my alarm early? That way we could start the day out right."

"I'm not exactly a morning person," Duo said over his shoulder, which was true, but it never stopped him from doing what he had to or, in the past, from having a romp with Heero before work, but he wasn't about to give the other man that bit of information.

"Can we get together tomorrow night?"

Duo shook his head and was grateful for a legitimate excuse. "My boss asked me to have dinner with his family after work. I think we'll have to wait until next weekend to see each other again."

"Duo, are you alright? I didn't hurt you, did I?" Jim asked with concern as he slid out of the bed just as Duo pulled up his pants.

Before the artist could approach him, he hurried out of the bedroom and began an anxious search for his shirt. Spotting a corner of it peeking out from beneath the coffee table he snatched it up and began the search for a missing sock and replied rather distractedly, "No, you didn't hurt me. I just..." He wasn't sure how to explain his rush to get out of there. Should he come out and tell the other man he was dissatisfied with the sex they'd just had... both times? Duo wasn't at all sure it had been Jim's fault. In fact, he was willing to acknowledge that a good part of the problem was his. How would the artist take it if he confessed that this was the first time he'd let someone take him since Heero, that he'd compared him to his ex-lover and found him lacking in every way? If a guy told him something like that after having sex he'd probably feel humiliated or angry. So for the sake of Jim's pride, he fudged on the truth. "I just think that we might have moved a bit too fast."

"But you enjoyed what we did, right?" Jim came to him and pulled Duo into his arms and began to pat the back of his head in a manner that was probably meant to be comforting. Unfortunately, Duo felt as if Jim was treating him like a child, not a man, which didn't help the situation one bit.

"I still feel odd," Duo confessed, pushing his way out of the taller man's embrace. "We don't know each other very well and yet we've had sex."

Jim looked down at him, wearing an expression of disbelief. "Are you a prude, Duo? Come on, we're guys with healthy sex drives. It's not unusual for gay men to hook up on the first date. I could almost believe that you've had very little experience."

"Oh I've got experience all right," he answered darkly. With only a few exceptions, encounters after the break up and his travels, Duo's sexual experience had been with Heero, and they hadn't exactly been slackers when it came to having sex. Still, he wondered what Jim would say if he told him about his past, the parts of his life that made him feel much older than what his appearance indicated, and that death and destruction had followed him like a dark shadow for most of his childhood. No, he would keep those unsavory tidbits to himself. Given the chance, he couldn't imagine Jim or any of his acquaintances in Park City being able to understand him or his past, his life having been so different in contrast to almost everyone he'd met in the hillside hamlet. Even his own therapist was having trouble believing half the things he'd confessed to doing in some of his more productive sessions.

"Listen, Jim. I'm not sure about this. I'm not comfortable with the idea of being just a bottom. Like I said before, my former lover and I took turns. I believe that give and take is a part of a healthy relationship."

The question came unbidden into his mind, what exactly had been so "healthy" about his relationship with Heero? In their last year together they argued and snipped at each other all the time and sometimes even struck out in anger. After such disagreeable moments, they both felt remorseful and made love like there was no tomorrow. Their relationship might not have been idyllic, but he and Heero had been passionate in everything they did, good and bad. Passion, he suddenly decided, was what was missing with Jim. Granted, he had felt want, need and a good portion of lust, but there had been no passion, at least on his part.

Jim was perceptive enough to tell he was anxious to get out of there. Holding him loosely in his arms, the artist looked down and into his eyes as he softly began to argue his case. "I'm sorry, Duo, but I'm not going to waver on this. I'm older than you and have had enough experience to know what works for me and what doesn't. I can only promise you that I'll do everything in my power to make sure you're satisfied, in and out of bed. Just give us a try. I can tell that something didn't sit well with you tonight, but maybe your expectations were too high. You have to believe me that not every first time is great. It takes time, communication and some experimenting to learn how to please a lover. Please, don't give up on us before we have a chance to work things out."

Jim's argument made sense. Duo had expected sex with the other man to be as wonderful as it had been with Heero, and he had been disappointed when it wasn't. Maybe he had expected too much. One thing he knew for certain, however, was that he didn't want to spend his life as a bottom. He honestly didn't mind giving himself to Heero, knowing the favor would be returned, if not that night then in the near future.

Thoughts of his former lover and memories of their love making once again began to flood his mind with haunting images of Heero poised over him, his strong, naked body pressed against his own with words of possession tumbling from his lips as they brushed against heated skin. No, there was no reluctance on his part when Heero wanted to take the top position. The image of Heero lying beneath him, completely exposed to him and with eyes filled with passion as he willingly urged him to join their bodies together, flashed in his mind and nearly took his breath away as he stood in Jim's loose embrace. He remembered every detail of that wonderfully fit body, strong and yet pliant to his will and desire. He could see in his mind's eye Heero's face, flushed with passion, lips red from being thoroughly kissed and his eyes simmering pools of desire. Dammit, he wanted that again, the kind of love that made you feel both lost and found, that made everything and everyone else pale in comparison. There was no doubt about it, what he and Heero once had was something very special. It was just too damn bad it didn't last.

Shaking himself out of his daydreaming, Duo firmly reminded himself that, sure, parts of his relationship with Heero had been pure and utter bliss, at times giving him more than he'd ever dreamed possible. And then there were the other unpleasant moments: the arguments, name calling and accusations that made their lives together pure hell. Maybe something so good at the beginning just wasn't meant to last, and that's why he was here, half a planet away from his former lover and friends, trying to figure out what to do next. Why couldn't he feel for Jim even a fraction of what he'd felt for Heero? Could the other man be right, that it might just take some time to get used to each other, to learn what it took to ignite each others' passions?

Duo recalled how he and Heero had eyed each other as potential fuck buddies for some time after their first confrontational meeting. He smiled, thinking about how awkward and clumsy they'd been at their first attempt to have sex, both of them overly anxious to touch each other and find release for their pent up frustrations. But even on their first fumbling try he'd felt more passion and a deep soul connection with Heero than he'd ever experienced with another person. Those memories and emotions, all tied up with the man he couldn't quite let go of, his first love, far surpassed what he'd felt that evening with Jim, the self-proclaimed man of experience.

"Call me," Duo told the man holding him, deciding to give himself time to think things over. If he should act rashly now, he might be making a mistake in tossing a seemingly good guy off because their first attempt at having sex wasn't all that great. "We'll work out something for next weekend." He'd give Jim's theory a chance. Out of the bedroom the good looking artist was a gentleman, smart, talented and easy to be around. He definitely reminded him of Quatre, who could make anyone feel at ease moments after meeting him.

Lifting his chin, Jim took advantage of the angle to give him a tender kiss before he stepped back and said, "I'll call you."

It was after midnight when he returned to his apartment, and his conscience instantly went into guilt mode after seeing the red blinking light on his answering machine. Checking his watch he realized Quatre would probably have gone to the office already. He walked to the machine and noted there was just the one message before he hit the play button.

The gist of Quatre's message was that he was afraid that Duo had misunderstood the reason why Heero had moved out. His friend stated that he didn't want to go into it on the message machine, but hoped he'd return his call the moment he got in. Quatre's last bit of advice was, "I can't really tell you what to do regarding Jim, Duo, but I do think it would be a mistake to share the most intimate act with someone you don't love. Heero tried it, and I can't say he's any happier than he was before. He's in therapy again, trying to work through some of his problems. Maybe you should talk to your therapist before you jump into bed with someone who's almost a complete stranger. What do you two have in common? Does he know about your past? You should go into every relationship being honest about who and what you were and are now. Do you feel comfortable letting Jim know everything about you? Call me, Duo. I think we need to talk." He then rattled off his cell phone number which the American hastily wrote down on the back of his telephone bill.

After taking a quick shower, he went to bed, deciding to call Quatre in the morning after he had time to answer for himself some of the questions his friend had asked. Could he be honest with the artist about his past? And what the hell did they have in common other than living in the same area and wanting to connect with someone? Was he really over Heero, or at least enough to make a start with someone else? An answer to his questions came the moment he woke up the next morning with ejaculate in his boxers and Heero's name on his lips.

TBC

**Author's note**: Sorry for the delay in posting. My proofreader is in the process of moving and is doing the best she can to get the corrected chapters back to me. The story is complete, so don't worry about me finishing it when I don't post as frequently as I usually do. We'll get to the end eventually. Thanks for all your reviews and comments. Every one is very much appreciated.


	5. Chapter 5

**When One Door Closes  
Dyna Dee**

Part 5

"So what will you do?" Quatre asked after they'd spent an hour talking over the situation later that morning.

"I'm not sure," Duo answered in a glum tone. "Jim is definitely easy on the eyes, a talented artist, a nice guy and attentive. I'd be stupid not to try and make something work with him. But I don't know."

"How far can a relationship go if you're not willing to tell him about your past? If you can't tell him your secrets or reveal the truth about your past, how do you know if he'll accept you once he finds out? If you can't trust Jim enough to be honest with him, how can you possibly let him into your heart?"

Quatre's arguments were always logical, aimed at making him think before acting, but right now he'd had just about enough of thinking. He didn't have an answer to the honesty question, in fact, he was pretty much convinced that he knew jack-squat about anything, relationship wise. "I don't know," he snapped irritably, letting Quatre know he'd reached his limit.

There was a pause from the other side of the line before his friend said, "I don't say these things to hurt you, Duo. I hope you know that."

"I know, Quat. I'm just sick of being alone, ya know? I really hoped things would work out between Jim and I."

"Come home."

The idea had its appeal even as it filled him with dread. Waking up a short while ago after yet another wet dream about Heero made it pretty clear that he wasn't over his former lover. Facing his former lover and not making a fool out of himself was too much of a risk. "I can't," he replied dispiritedly and with a touch of apology in his voice.

"It's time to quit running, Duo. We miss you. Come home and we'll work things out."

"Don't you understand that I can't?" he asked, anguished. "I still love him, Quatre, and until this hurt and longing for him eases and I find someone to fill this gaping hole in me I can't see him. Besides, things will never be the way they were before. Heero needs you guys as much as I do. If I came back there you'd have to make a choice between us because I don't think I could pretend to be indifferent to him, not when he's in the same room. Who would you invite to holidays and to celebrations like birthdays? Would it be fair to invite me and not Heero?"

"I'm sorry," the blond replied quickly. Duo could only nod his head in reply to the apology. He was sorry too. "I won't push it any more, all right?" Quatre added.

Then pausing a few moments to let the tension between them ease, the blond spoke again, but this time he sounded much calmer though a bit hesitant. "I didn't know whether to bring this up or not, Duo, but it's only fair to warn you ahead of time that Trowa and I are going to make things legal between us. It's been a couple of years and it's time we did this. We've actually been holding out for you to come back because it won't seem right if you're not here to celebrate with us. I know you just told me that you're not ready to come home, but I can't put our future off forever, Duo, and I don't want to. We're considering September for the ceremony. Do you think you can come home by then, even if it's just for a couple of days?"

"Three months probably won't make a difference in how I feel about Heero," he answered, feeling his stomach flutter at the mere thought of returning to Sanq.

"If you feel that way, then why are you even seeing Jim?"

Shit, he had a point. "I can't promise I'll come, but I don't want you to put this off just because I'm too immature to get my act together. Set your date and I'll let you know."

"If it makes it any easier, you can bring a date."

"I'll think about it, okay?"

The blond sounded relieved when he said, "That's all I can ask. It really would make Trowa and I happy beyond words if you could come. I'll make the airline reservations if you'll look at your calendar and see what weekend in September you can get away."

Duo resigned himself to seriously considering going back to Sanq for the special day. Quatre was his closest friend and Trowa had been his partner, and he didn't want to let them down or miss out on seeing them legally married knowing how much it meant to the both of them. "Alright, I'll think about it. Just make sure those tickets are refundable."

The call ended shortly after that and he could tell by the sound of Quatre's voice that he was very pleased and hopeful. His friend promised to call again the following weekend to get the dates he would be able to take a leave from work so that he and Trowa could begin preparations for the ceremony and set up plane reservations.

Jim called on Tuesday night with regards to the next weekend. Duo had received an offer from a couple of people he worked with at the lodge to go boating at Bear Lake on Saturday. They reported having a friend with a large boat, water skis and something called a banana boat. He asked if he could bring a friend along and received the jovial answer, "The more the merrier." He figured spending a day outdoors with a group of fun people would be a good way to get to know Jim better without sex being part of the date. Now that they'd crossed the line into a physical relationship, it was going to be harder to make excuses to not have sex when they went out together.

As an aftereffect from the war, Duo practiced caution when revealing anything about his personal life, like the fact that he was gay, and especially in the work place. So he was somewhat nervous about how Jim would be perceived by his co-workers. But he needn't have worried. Jim never had acted overtly gay, and he immediately made a good impression during the first introductions to his co-workers/friends, offering a friendly smile and firm handshake. Duo was further impressed when the slightly older man made everyone feel at ease by engaging in a variety of conversational topics with the same ease he'd employed when they'd first met in the gallery.

It just so happened that Jim happened to be a great skier, and Duo appreciated the artist even more when he refrained from laughing at him when his turn came to put on the skis and line up behind the boat for the first time.

It took several disastrous tries before Duo actually made it up and out of the water, and even then he didn't last too long. Jim and the others in the boat shouted out corrections on what he was doing wrong as well as encouragement, and before long he was able to stand up on the skis long enough to be pulled a fairly good distance by the boat. It was getting caught in the wake when the boat turned sharply that upended him and plunged him back into the chilly water. He was told he performed a rather spectacular cartwheel, head over skis before he belly flopped on the lake's surface.

Jim brought several disposable cameras with him and handed them out to everyone to ensure they had a visual reminder of that summer day. Duo caught his date snapping pictures of him off and on throughout the afternoon before he playfully wrestled the camera out of the other man's hands and took several snapshots of the artist in retaliation. Jim promised to give him printed copies.

All in all, the day had been a good one. He and Jim joined the others for a barbeque at the lake's picnic area as the afternoon edged towards evening. It was after the sun had set and the sky grew dark that the two men finally got into Jim's car for the long ride home.

"That was fun," Jim said, turning his eyes from the road to grin at the braided man.

"Yeah, it was," Duo agreed. "Thanks for coming."

"Would you like to come to my place or are you too tired from your first day water skiing?"

"I'm actually pretty tired," Duo replied with a look of apology.

"I can imagine. I remember my first day skiing when I was thirteen. I felt like I'd been worked over by a bunch of bullies and slept until three in the afternoon the next day."

"What kind of childhood did you have, Jim? Were you a happy kid?" Duo decided to try and get to know the other man better. Jim really did seem like a great guy, and maybe if he learned more about the man some deeper feelings for him might form. And maybe, if he fell in love with the handsome artist, it would help the situation in the bedroom.

With his eyes on the road, Jim replied to his question by stating that he'd come from a broken home. It seemed rather cliche, he said, that his Dad had been having an affair with his secretary, and after having discovered this, his mother divorced him. The custody battle was a long, extended one with each parent trying to win him over. He confessed to siding with his mother, seeing her as the injured party, but that he was smart enough to milk both parents for everything he could get out of them. He'd been eleven years old when his mother discovered his father's betrayal.

Duo really couldn't relate to Jim's past, not having had parents himself, and he wasn't overly impressed about Jim playing his parents off of each other. But then again, he'd heard that was a fairly common thing for children experiencing the trauma of having their parents divorce.

Jim then turned the tables by asking Duo about his childhood. Not knowing how the other man would react to his own story, he gave him an edited version. Admitting he was an orphan, Duo left out the fact that he'd lived on the streets of L2, the notorious slum colony. He spoke of the orphanage, but neglected to mention his time with Solo and the street gang. He briefly mentioned the burning of the church and orphanage and the deaths of Father Maxwell and Sister Helen and the other kids, pointedly leaving out the reason for it, then told him he'd joined the war effort. Leaving Deathscythe out of the tale as well as his having been a gundam pilot somehow felt necessary. Jim seemed to accept what he was told, offering the proper words of sympathy and amazement that Duo had turned out so well, considering his unfortunate past. Then Quatre's words came back to him, that if he couldn't be honest with Jim about his past, how could he let him into his heart. Maybe he couldn't. At the back of his mind Duo began to worry that he might never be able to fully trust someone with his past, other than his fellow former gundam pilots.

Jim dropped him off in front of his apartment building, but not without a kiss to remember him by. The blond promised to call him to set up something for the next weekend. For a day that had gone fairly well, Duo entered his apartment feeling somewhat depressed. He blamed his downturn in mood on talking about the past. Deceiving Jim by omitting some rather vital truths about his life left him feeling like a liar and sneak. Being a sneak he could live with, but a liar was something he'd always despised.

Quatre's call on Sunday morning was a welcomed event. A date was set for the formal ceremony marking the day when Trowa and Quatre would become legal partners. It was to take place on Saturday, September 17th, a little over two months away. Quatre was already knee-deep in the planning stages and Duo promised to ask for an entire week off. At that time of year, with schools back in session and winter several months away, he was fairly certain Brian would give him the necessary time off from work.

Jim called on Wednesday to invite him to a well-known summer film festival. It sounded fun, so Duo accepted. The artist also asked if he would come back to his place and stay the night. Of course Duo knew what that would entail, so he psyched himself up for it, thinking that he'd give sex with Jim another try. Everyone deserved a second chance, he thought. Even in bed.

They managed to view two movies that night. One was a odd-humored flick about pre-pubescent, trouble making teens whose parents were stationed on a tropical airbase. The second film was a moving documentary entitled, "The Streets They Owned." Little did Duo know before the lights dimmed that the film was about the poverty and slums of L2. He squirmed in his seat and fought down the bile rising in his throat as he viewed scenes similar to his own past. While the storyline followed a teenage girl who had to make the decision about whether to steal or turn to prostitution in order to survive, Duo couldn't help but imagine himself in that very same position had he not stowed away on the Sweepers' barge. Halfway though the film he decided he couldn't take any more. He shot up out of his seat and fled the theater. Jim had the good sense to follow.

"What's the matter?" The tall blond easily caught up to Duo, grabbed hold of his arm and pulled him aside on the busy sidewalk. There was concern in the pale blue eyes as they studied the shorter man.

"That film was just too close for comfort. I'm afraid I tend to like action pictures more than documentaries."

"An escapist, huh?" Jim grinned at him, helping to ease a bit of the tension that had built up during the last movie. Then for some reason, Jim's statement hit home. In some odd way, he was an escapist. He'd escaped L2 only to become a gundam pilot and then escaped death in Deathscythe and as a prisoner of war several times over. He escaped death and Deikum Barton's prison in the second war. More recently, he had fled from his dysfunctional life with Heero. "Yeah, I'm an escapist alright. Escaping reality every chance I get."

"How about I take you out for a late night snack, and then home for a blow job... I mean night cap." Jim's smile was infectious when he shifted his eyebrows suggestively.

"Sure," Duo nodded his head. He was in the mood for a good romp between the sheets. "Sounds good."

A car ride, apple pie ala mode, and a heavy make out session later, Duo found himself back in Jim's bedroom. After a good thirty minutes of Jim getting him in the mood, he moaned deeply as the artist used his talented fingers to finish prepping him. "I'm ready," he whispered with a husky voice, desperate for Jim to hurry up and get the ball rolling, so to speak. Then suddenly the man above him shifted away. "What the ..?"

The artist stood up from the bed, just as blessedly naked as Duo was, and gave his guest a mischievous grin. "I want to make this last, make it good for you."

"It's good," Duo insisted, his cock standing at attention like a good soldier was proof that he was telling the truth.

"Just wait." Jim strolled over to the closet, opened it, and bought out a silver box that appeared to be the same size as one made for men's boots. He came back to the bed carrying it in his two hands and sat down on the mattress next to him. With his hand on the lid of the box, Duo saw a spark of excitement or was it anticipation light up the other man's eyes. He recognized that look, having worn it himself whenever he was given the materials to build a bomb. Damn, he was good at building bombs and missed that part of his past, especially the blowing up part. Watching something he'd created make such a big bang excited him almost as much as flying Deathscythe had. Jim had that look in his eyes now and Duo wondered what in the world was in the box.

The blond made a production of opening the lid and Duo followed his gaze down to see the contents... and froze. "You like?" There was excitement in Jim's voice, but Duo couldn't drag his eyes away from the contents of the box to glance up at him. Within the box lay an assortment of... toys: padded handcuffs, vibrators, dildos, nipple clamps and several things he could only guess came with kinky sex. His so-called soldier, standing at attention, collapsed.

"No way in hell!" he gasped before rolling swiftly toward the other side of the bed in a hurry to get up.

"What's the matter?" Jim sounded confused and came after him. "It's just for fun, you know, to spice things up."

"Spice things up!" Duo shouted. "It's not like we've been together for years and have grown bored of each other. Dammit, Jim, if this is how you start a relationship, what the hell are you gonna to do to spice things up down the road? I'm sorry, but that's just not my thing."

On the defensive, Jim asked, "Have you ever tried to vary your love life? You shouldn't knock it unless you've tried it."

Duo hurried to pull on his boxers with his pants following quickly after. As he straightened, zipping up his fly, Jim came up from behind and pulled Duo's back up against his bare chest. "Don't go," he whispered seductively into his ear then teased the tender lobe with his tongue. "We don't have to play, Duo. We'll just make hot, passionate love. I've dreamt about being inside of you for two weeks. I'm about to burst from wanting you."

Duo was stunned, unable to believe what he was hearing even though he could feel Jim's persistent and firm erection pressed up against his backside. Shaking his head, he pulled himself out of the other man's embrace. "It's no good, Jim." Quickly throwing on his shirt, Duo more or less forced himself to turn and face the tall artist with the truth. "Look, I really like you, Jim. You're a great guy, but we're just not compatible in bed. You'd be better off with someone who shares your taste in... fun."

The good looking blond combed a hand through his hair and uttered a deep sigh of disappointment. "All right. Let me get dressed and I'll drive you home." Duo turned and walked into the front room and began putting on his socks and shoes, all the while dealing with his own sense of disappointment.

Jim came out dressed a few minutes later and sat on the sofa next to him to slip on his own shoes. Looking up with sadness in his eyes he said, "I really like you, Duo. Are you sure?"

Pausing only a moment to give careful consideration to Jim's question, Duo knew the answer and nodded his head. "From the beginning of my last relationship, my lover and I had great chemistry. We were in every way compatible in bed and never needed anything else to enhance our lovemaking. Our sex life was great, probably the only thing that was great in our relationship at the end."

"And still you let him go?"

He looked at Jim and saw the artist was honestly shocked.

"No, he let me go. I just ran like the devil was after me so I wouldn't have to watch him fall in love with someone else."

"You loved him?"

Duo sighed as he answered, "Desperately. Still do, I guess. But things changed and we couldn't get along. He left the Preventers, where we worked together, to study at the university while I remained on the job. He met new people, became friends with them and, after meeting me they made no bones about the fact that I was uncouth, obnoxious and uneducated and definitely not good enough for my lover, especially since my job involved, in their words, 'oppression and suppression of the masses'." He shrugged, trying to dismiss the pain and humiliation that came from recalling the snide whispers that judged him inferior in comparison to his lover, unworthy of the brilliant university student who shunned anything to do with war or violence. Over time he had managed to turn a deaf ear to the barbs Heero's friends directed at him, but even after all this time it still stung.

"They were probably right, ya know. I don't have a university degree or certificates stating how smart I am, but I'm anything but stupid. I'm probably smarter than all those snot-nosed, stuck-up students put together. I've done and experienced things in my life that would have them pissing their pants and bawling their eyes out."

"You were a Preventer?" Duo turned at that question to see Jim looking at him with wide eyes and a shocked expression.

Oops. "Ah... yeah, I was."

Several times the other man began to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth. Having finished tying his shoes, Duo stood up and declared, "I'm ready to go."

The short car ride back to his place was a quiet one. Jim, no doubt, was trying to sort out all he'd been told, and Duo was beating himself up for having said too much. As the car stopped, Jim set the parking brake and turned in his seat. "You're sure about this?"

Duo nodded, regretting that things hadn't work out between them but knowing he was doing the right thing. "I hope we can still hang out once in a while," he said. "You really are a good guy, Jim, someone I'd be glad to call a friend."

"I'd like that, too," the artist replied, wearing a sad smile. He then leaned forward and gave Duo a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Call me when you show your new pieces?" Jim been talking about several paintings he'd been working on, and Duo was curious to see how they turned out.

"Of course."

And suddenly there seemed to be nothing left to say, so Duo got out of the car and watched Jim drive away. Left alone once again, he sighed wearily, acknowledging that another relationship had come to an end. Tilting his chin upward, he gazed at the starlit heavens above. "My life sucks," he told the great unknown, in case someone up there didn't already know that little fact. The stars were bright in the dark, moonless sky and he could easily make out the Milky Way, the constellations and those colonies that were in view, and suddenly he longed to be in space once again. Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he made his way back to his small apartment, wondering if maybe it was time to move on, to catch a shuttle back to space.

The red blinking light on his answering machine indicated he had a message, but in his less than stellar mood he knew better than to try and talk to anyone. He ignored it and went to the bathroom, intending to take a long hot shower before turning in for the night.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer on first page of story.

**When One Door Closes  
Dyna Dee**

Part 6

Warnings: Can't think of any for this chapter, maybe a touch of angst.

Duo got up the next morning and as he got ready for the day he pointedly ignored the orange light blinking on the phone, indicating a message on his answering machine. He had little doubt the message was from Quatre, but after the events of the evening before, he wasn't ready to talk to his friend, not yet. He grabbed a donut and coffee at the local bakery and then headed for the lodge even though he was scheduled to have the day off. With nothing better to do, he worked out some of his frustration by sanding part of the slope-side deck, preparing it for staining. It was good hard work that helped to keep his mind off his crappy love life.

After having lunch with his boss, Brian, they both decided to play hooky that afternoon by taking the other man's 4-wheel drive jeep and several rifles into the mountains for a little target practice. Duo found the diversion a great way to spend the early summer day and managed to forget for a time all about Jim and the message waiting for him at home. If the call was indeed from Quatre, he had to figure out if he should say anything to him about his and Jim's breakup. Knowing how intuitive his friend was, he didn't know if he could actually get away with saying nothing at all.

All good things come to an end, though, and so did his pleasant day. He returned to his apartment that evening with an bag of takeout for his dinner and to his answering machine which was still, predictably, blinking. He decided to deal with the call before eating his meal. As predicted, it was Quatre's voice on the recording and his friend sounded disappointed after discovering he wasn't home. He politely asked Duo to call the first chance he had.

Duo dreaded having to admit that he had failed in yet another relationship, though he couldn't really claim what he had with Jim was a relationship after only a couple of dates and not the most satisfying sex. Munching on his extra crispy chicken, cole slaw and biscuit, he contemplated what he should say when he called his friend back. Even though he'd probably wind up spilling his guts out to his friend about everything that had been going on, the last thing Duo wanted was for Quatre to tell the others that he'd suffered yet another failure in his love life.

Just as he reached for the receiver, having decided that it was in his best interest to quit fretting about what to say and just deal with returning the call and play it by ear. Just when he decided not to say anything to Quatre about his breakup with Jim, the phone rang.

Seeing the familiar, out-of-the-country number displayed, he picked up with receiver and said with an impish grin, "Fantasy hotline, where all your wildest dreams can come true."

"Hello, Duo," Quatre replied with an amused chuckle before he continued without a pause, obviously ignoring the strange greeting. "I called yesterday. Did you get my message?"

"Yeah, a few minutes ago. I was just about to call you back. How are you?"

"Fine. Just wanted to see how your week was. Were you out with Jim last night?"

He told his friend about the film festival and that they'd had a pleasant evening together, which was the truth. He fully intended to end with that comment, but then Quatre must have detected something in his tone as he nudged. "But?"

"No buts," Duo answered.

"I'm getting the feeling that you're not telling me something."

Damn, nobody warned him ahead of time about the drawbacks of making friends with someone who had empathic abilities. "Listen, Quat, I broke up with Jim last night and I really don't want to talk about it, all right? I also don't want you saying anything to anyone else about it, okay?"

"What happened?"

"Didn't I just say that I don't want to talk about it?"

"You know you want to."

"No I don't."

"Did he do something to offend you?"

"No."

"He didn't cheat on you, did he?"

Snort. "No, of course not."

"Did he hurt you? You know, sexually?"

"Quatre!"

"If you won't tell me I'll just have to keep guessing until I pick up on something that tells me what's going on."

"We weren't compatible," Duo snapped back, exasperated by how his friend always managed to extract information out of him.

"How so?"

Frustrated, Duo replied a bit forcefully, "Dammit, Quatre, in bed, all right! Not only did he want to top all the time, refusing to ever be bottom, but he brought out a box of toys... including handcuffs. I got out of there faster than you can say Treize Kushrenada was a sissy boy."

Quatre giggled at that, as he always did when he used that line. He recalled saying that phrase once before, a few months after the war at one of Relena's parties, unaware that Milliardo Peacecraft was standing within earshot. Heero jumped to his rescue a half second after the former Lighting Count grabbed hold of his braid and attempted to wrap it around his neck. It was pretty well known in their social circle that no one but Heero dared to touch his braid. The consequences of Heero's knee-jerk response led to a demerit on his record at Preventers, but Duo made up for it after they'd gotten home from work that day. His memory was quite clear of an extended, amazing love making session that had been absolutely mind-blowing.

After Quatre quit sniggering, he sobered enough to say with regards to Jim, "I'm sorry, Duo."

"Yeah, me too. He really is a great guy, otherwise." He silently wondered why things never seemed to work out for him.

"What?" his friend asked.

"Just wondering why I can't seem to find someone who is as compatible personality wise as they are in bed."

"I thought you had that with Heero, at least in the beginning."

"Yeah, Heero and I were good in and out of bed for the first year or so, but everything went to shitsville after he started attending the university. He claimed to see life from a different perspective. His... I don't know what you'd call it... discontent or unhappiness with our lives came on gradually. His nitpicking at things I said or did was followed by dismissive comments about how I just couldn't understand something from a lecture he told me about from one of his classes. Shit, I'm not college educated, Quat, but I'm not stupid either. You know I'm a learn-as-I-go kind of guy. Besides, I'm a lot more savvy when it comes to life than any textbook they force feed you at the university."

"You're not stupid," Quatre firmly agreed. "And Heero knows that. He just wanted to fit in so badly, to find out what it was to be 'normal' in contrast to being a soldier. That's the reason he gave us when he chose to go to school rather than pursuing a career with Preventers. It could be that your being a Preventer reminded him too much of his past, of what he was trained to be. It might have been the crux of the problem between the two of you. I don't think he was so much finding fault with you, but with your job and what you did every day, which you no doubt talked about at night. Your work, which was a significant part of your life, represented what he was trying to put behind him. Heero's goal was to eradicate the perfect soldier so that he could be just another functioning member of society, just another guy going to school, and that end clashed with the person you were and the life you lived."

There was a long drawn-out pause as Duo considered his friend's words. He vaguely recalled a rather poignant conversation the night Heero decided to quit the Preventers and go to school. They'd just finished a particularly grueling day with Heero being partnered on an assignment with Wufei while he'd been paired with Trowa on another. When Heero came back to the office to fill out an incident report, he was aloof, his back rigid and his face a mask of stone. When Duo moved to go to him and find out what had happened, Wufei forestalled him by gripping his shoulder.

Shooting him a questioning glance, Duo could tell by the Chinese man's troubled eyes and the shake of his head that their assignment had gone badly, and that meant Heero would take it as a failure, his failure. The former Wing pilot never dealt with failure very well. He internalized it, let it fester and tried to make it right, even if it cost him his life. The incident during the war proved that point, when he'd mistakenly shot down the pacifist's shuttle and then tried to atone to their families by offering up his life to them.

Wufei had been right, of course. When Heero was in the kind of mood he was displaying, it was always best to leave him alone for a while to work things out in his mind. Duo knew by the time they got home his lover would more likely be able to talk about what had gone wrong and eventually let him offer support and comfort.

The case Duo had been on that day had also turned out less than stellar. The informant he'd cultivated for three months had been found dead with a note of warning carved into his exposed back as a message that his death and obvious torture was proof of what happened to snitches. The image of that man's naked body, lacking fingers, ears, tongue, eyeballs and genitals haunted him for a long time.

They left the office together, got into their shared car and silently made their way home. Neither of them had any appetite, so they'd settled on eating a couple of bananas just to fulfill Wufei's parting order for them to eat something.

The apartment had remained relatively silent while they took turns showering, both of them still caught up with thoughts of the day's events. It wasn't until they lay in bed that night that he'd turned and reached for Heero, needing his warmth and strength. Feeling his touch, Heero immediately turned and pulled Duo's unresisting body to lie on top of his chest, where he held onto him like something was going to physically tear him away from the embrace. Duo held his lover just as tightly, and even after all the time that had passed since that night, he could still remember the smell of his lover, the warmth of his skin and the way his body trembled under his own.

"Wanna talk about it?" he'd asked.

"Not about today," Heero answered, his voice a deep whisper. "But I would like to talk about the future. I'm quitting."

Duo recalled the fear that had swept through him at the mistaken assumption that Heero was talking about quitting him and their relationship, but his next words put that worry to rest. "I've decided to attend the university. I don't want to carry a gun or kill anyone ever again." That pretty much told him what had happened that day. Heero always fell into a dark pit of self recrimination when he was forced to shoot someone, even if it was justified.

"I think that would be good," he told him.

"Really? You're not disappointed in me?" There had been a trace of worry in Heero's voice when he asked that question.

"Disappointed? Why would I be?"

"You fell in love with a soldier, Duo. I don't want to be that any more."

Duo kissed him soundly before pulling back long enough to answer, "I fell for you, despite your being a soldier." He traced his finger over Heero's strong jaw line. "While I'll admit that your soldierly skills impressed the hell out of me, it was your winning personality and body that won me over completely." He'd given his lover a cheeky grin as he searched for Heero's hand and clasped their fingers together before bringing them to his lips to kiss the back of his lover's hand. He held back any worries he had about what Heero's going to the university would do to their relationship, how it would no doubt change things. Naively, the foremost worry at the time was the dent in their income when Heero left work to pursue his education, making it harder to pay the bills. He'd comforted himself at the time by thinking that if Heero was happy it could only make their relationship even better, and that any problems they encountered could be worked out. How stupid he'd been, thinking money would be their only problem.

"Ya know, Quat, it's all in the past and I don't wanna talk about it any more, all right?"

His friend was noticeably subdued when agreed to let it go, then brightened when he changed the subject completely. "So, do you want to hear about the ceremony?" Of course he was referring to his and Trowa's legal partnering. Great, now he had to figure out how to handle going back and facing everyone on his own. Then again, he had the whole summer to not only get the balls to return to Sanq, but to also find someone who wouldn't mind accompanying him to see Quatre Winner get hitched to his lover. Piece of cake, right?

He half listened to his friend as Quatre excitedly detailed all the arrangements he'd made for his and Trowa's big day and how great it was going to be to see him again. Duo wished he shared his friend's excitement, but managed to feign enough enthusiasm to assure his friend he looked forward to the day as well.

Life, as did the summer season, marched on. The Fourth of July came and with it the opportunity to celebrate in the good old American way. Workers as well as guest from the resort gathered together for a barbeque, volleyball and other outdoor games, including the biggest balloon Duo could have imagined. It was a fun day, and Duo really enjoyed himself and made a few more friends. As the sun began to set, they set off fireworks someone had bought in Wyoming. He shook his head at the observers who ooh and awed the showy display. The exploding blooms of color were nothing compared to some of the pretty impressive explosives he'd and set off during the war. There was nothing quite like destroying a munitions depot to light up the night sky.

Together the group of friends watched the city's firework show while some of the workers' children twirled sparklers. Afterwards, they sat around Brian's kitchen table swapping stories of childhood adventures and mishaps. Duo listened carefully, glimpsing what life was like for people he considered normal, compared to himself anyway. These were everyday folks that he worked for and hung around with, and it was impossible not to see the wide contrast between his life on the streets of L2 and the lives his coworkers had lived.

Shuffling back to his apartment, his way lit by the slight crescent sliver of the moon hanging low in the southern sky, he shared the sidewalk with other holiday revelers making their way home as well, and a stream of cars that moved slowly towards the highway. A car pulled up to the curb next to him and a horn honked. "Duo!" He turned to the sound of a familiar voice to see Jim smiling at him from behind the wheel of his car.

"Hey," he answered a bit warily as he stepped over to the car and leaned into the passenger window. "You out celebrating?"

"Yeah, I had a couple of friends from the gallery invite me over tonight. It was nice," Jim answered. "How about you?"

"I hung out with my coworkers all day. It was fun."

Jim nodded. "So, need a lift?"

It was only a few blocks to his place, but he felt strangely reluctant to let go of the opportunity for company, regardless that he'd been around people all day. He just hoped that accepting the ride wouldn't lead Jim to assume there was going to be something more in it for him. He'd already made up his mind about the other man and he wasn't going to budge. He climbed into the car just as Jim asked, "Feel like going for a moonlight ride?"

"Jim..." His voice held a tone of warning.

"I know," the blond sighed. "I promise, just a drive and talk between friends."

Duo relaxed into his seat. "All right." True to his word, Jim drove out of the traffic and into the countryside while they talked and classical music floated gently in the background on the car's excellent stereo system. Jim returned him to his apartment around two in the morning and they parted with a friendly kiss before he saw the artist off with a wave and a smile. He had enjoyed the hours they'd spent talking and it was a relief that Jim seemed to accept his decision to end their physical relationship without trying to coerce him into rethinking his reasons. He really did like the artist and was glad they'd managed to maintain a friendship, regardless of the fact that they didn't fit as lovers. For the first time in a very long while he fell asleep feeling rather content.

July passed quickly and soon it was August and only weeks away from returning to the place and people he'd run away from. He made the decision to invite Jim to be his guest at the wedding and dropped by the gallery when he knew the other man would be watching the shop. Duo felt unaccountably nervous when he spied the familiar artist through the glass door. He was talking to a potential buyer when the chime above the door sounded, signaling his entrance. Jim turned and smiled at him before giving the hand signal to wait until he was finished. He nodded, and began to stroll around the studio, studying the more recent additions to the gallery that he hadn't seen before.

While gazing appreciatively at a bright landscape, he heard Jim's pleased voice as he came up from behind. "This is a pleasant surprise. What brings you to this side of town?"

Duo turned and was once again impressed with Jim's natural good looks. His warm smile and amused eyes were a welcome sight. He knew a moment's regret that he'd already decided the two of them could only be friends. After the customer took up a brochure and walked to another part of the gallery, Duo approached the artist. After exchanging pleasant greetings he said, "I came to ask you something."

"Really?" There was a spark of playfulness in Jim's eyes.

"See, I've got a couple of friends who are doing the equivalent of tying the knot and they want me to be there for the ceremony. The thing is, they live in Sanq, and when I left there almost two years ago, I ran away from not only my life, but everyone who meant anything to me. I really don't know what to expect when I show up after all this time, so I was wondering if you would like to come with me and help me face my past as well as my friends?"

"And former lover?" Jim asked, his demeanor having turned serious.

"Yeah, him too, I guess." Duo couldn't believe how clumsy he felt asking Jim to go with him, like a school boy asking for a first date or something. But he fervently hoped Jim would accompany him, otherwise he didn't know if he had the balls to go by himself.

"So, is the happy couple straight or gay?"

Duo grinned, forgetting he'd left that part out. "They're guys, and one of them is my best friend, Quatre Winner."

It was almost comical to see Jim's eyes slowly widen as Quatre's name sunk in. "_The_ Quatre Winner, from colony L4?"

"That's him." Duo's grin remained in place even after the other man's amazed expression turned doubtful.

"You're pulling my leg."

"Nope."

"How in the hell did you come to be best friends with Quatre Winner?"

"We're both colony brats," he answered simply.

The skeptical look remained. "Is this some sort of practical joke?"

"Nope." He was prepared for such a response, having brought the invitation he'd received two days earlier. He pulled the six by four inch card out of his pants' pocket and handed it to Jim. He gave him a moment to read the scripted print. When the blond man's head lifted, a look of awe had settled on his handsome face. "Oh. My. God," was all he could stammer.

"So what do you think? Can you get away and go with me? All expenses paid," he added as an incentive.

"Are you kidding?" Jim gasped. "Of course I'll go. I'd be an idiot to miss this opportunity. What's he like? Quatre Winner, I mean."

Duo smiled with fond remembrance of his friend. "To tell you the truth, Jim, you remind me a lot of him. He's kind, caring, strong willed, smart and generous to a fault. He's been a good friend to me, even after I took off without much warning."

"I look forward to meeting him, as well as his lover." Jim's smile was sincere, and Duo could see he was now thinking of Quatre as someone other than just a famous bazillionaire.

"Okay, it's all set then," he said with a grin while rubbing his hands together. "Now all I have to do is think of a gift for the guys who have everything."

"How about something personal," Jim suggested with a knowing grin.

"Such as?"

"How about a portrait? If you have a picture of the happy couple, I'll attempt to ply my talents towards painting them."

"You'd do that? I thought you were more into landscapes and abstracts."

"I took hours and hours of art classes. I know how to paint portraits, trust me."

"No freaky Picasso type pictures, right?"

"No, nothing like that, but given that I'm limited on time, it will have to be a more simple portrait."

"Well, all right. That sounds great. I'll gladly pay you for your work."

"How about we just consider it our gift, since I'm going as your date. Really, I insist."

Duo stepped forward and hugged the taller man, noting that he smelled really good. "You're the best, Jim."

"Yeah, that's what they all say before they turn and walk away," the artist answered with a droll chuckle.

And so it was settled that Jim was not only going to be his backup, but the bearer of gifts, lifting two burdens from Duo's shoulders. After he returned to his apartment, Duo promptly emailed Quatre to let him know that the second airline reservation was going to be used and supplied him with Jim's information for the ticket. He felt enormously relieved at having everything fall so neatly into place, though his worry continued for the next couple of weeks about what would happen once he came face to face with those he had once considered comrades, friends and lover.

TBC

Dear readers, Thank you for all your comments and words of encouragement. Looks like my proofreader has the internet again. Thanks Swordy for all your help.


	7. Chapter 7

**When One Door Opens  
**Dyna Dee

Part 7

During the next couple of weeks Duo gave Jim a bit more background information about his relationship with Heero, focusing on the events leading up to their breakup as well as his abrupt departure from Sanq, in an attempt to help the artist understand why returning to his former home was not easy for him. When Jim asked if his going back was difficult because he still loved Heero, Duo answered truthfully that he just didn't know. He'd pondered that question during the month of August without coming up with a definitive answer. He had very strong feelings for his former lover, but was he still in love with him? No doubt he'd get his answer once he came face to face with Heero once again.

At last the day for their departure had arrived. Duo had a new, moderate-sized suitcase with a week's worth of clothing packed inside, as well as a new suit. He couldn't help but laugh at the two very large suitcases Jim carried out of his condo, holding enough clothing to last a month. He also carried a large case that contained the finished portrait of Quatre and Trowa. He'd gotten a glimpse of the painting a week before, and was literally left breathless by the uncanny likeness of his two friends. Seeing the sparkle of mischievousness in Quatre's eyes as well as the faint upturn of Trowa's lips brought the portrait to life for him, causing him to miss his friends more than ever.

A friend of Jim's drove them to the airport in Salt Lake City that afternoon where they boarded the plane leaving for Chicago. They caught the connecting flight, a red eye that landed them in Sanq's capitol at seven the next morning. Even though they'd traveled first class, compliments of Quatre, Duo felt worn and groggy when they met the chauffeur after exiting customs. The man – middle aged, short and stout with warm brown skin and black hair – was dressed in a black, smart-looking suit, white shirt and red striped tie and held a white board with D. Maxwell printed in bold red ink upon the surface. After introducing themselves, the chauffeur, Fernando, led them to the silver limousine, then went back inside the terminal to collect their luggage.

Jim's eyes were shining with excitement as he looked out the car's windows at their surroundings. "I can't believe I'm here, in Sanq, and attending Quatre Winner's conjugal ceremony."

Duo looked at him with a questioning expression. "Conjugal?"

"Conjugal. Conjoining," Jim replied. "Like a marriage."

That was a new word for him. "Conjugal," he repeated, trying it out. Jim smiled at him, then leaned over and kissed his temple.

"You're irresistible when you tilt your head like that," he said, grinning. He sat back again and asked, "So how are we going to play this? Do we act like the friends we are, or are we trying to convince them that we're something more?"

Duo had been debating that very question ever since he'd asked Jim to come along as his guest. "I don't know. I think it depends on Heero and how he reacts to seeing me, or how I react to seeing him."

"How will I know? I mean, what do you think he's going to do? Thrash or ravish you?" Jim's tone was teasing but his expression was serious.

The braided man couldn't help sighing before he answered, "Guess we'll just have to keep our eyes open for clues and play it by ear. Is that alright with you?"

"You can count on me to do whatever is necessary," Jim answered sincerely.

Turning in his seat, Duo unexpectedly embraced the other man. "You'll never know how much this means to me, Jim. You're a great guy."

"Yeah, I'm just great, in a friend sort of way, but not in your bed," the other man joked sarcastically. Even though Jim made light of the reason they were only friends, Duo knew it bothered him.

"Just because we didn't fit as a couple doesn't mean you won't find the right person, Jim."

"Maybe I could change," he offered with a half hopeful grin.

"You're willing to bottom?" he questioned dubiously while knowing that wasn't the only problem he and Jim would experience if they had tried to make things work between them.

He could see the answer in the artist's eyes. There was no way in hell Jim was ever going to let anyone top him. "Believe me, Jim, we're better off as friends," Duo said with a good-natured pat on the other man's shoulder, saving Jim from verbally answering. They had talked that subject to death already so there was no need to rehash it.

Movement at the back of the silver limousine alerted them to the fact that their chauffeur had returned with their luggage. After the trunk was closed, the uniformed man entered the driver's seat and turned to speak to his passengers through the open window.

"You'll find juice and croissants in the small refrigerator if you're hungry," he offered in a voice laden with Spanish accents. "Feel free to relax, watch television or listen to the radio or stereo system. The drive to the house is approximately twenty minutes." The window silently slid up, giving the two men in the back some privacy. A moment later the car started and eased into the early morning traffic.

"Nervous?" Jim asked, reaching towards the mini refrigerator and pulling out the juice and individually packaged croissants.

"If having my stomach tied up in knots is considered nervous, then yeah, I'm nervous."

"But they're your friends, right? They'll probably be thrilled to see you."

"Quatre will be, but I don't know about the others. They're probably not too happy with the way I left."

"So what's the worst they can do? Raise their voices at you? Take a swing?"

"You have no idea," Duo answered while pinching the bridge of his nose as a headache began to form from the lack of sleep the night before. He was definitely going to need a nap once they reached the house.

Jim lifted his left arm and wrapped it around Duo's shoulders, then tugged him closer to his side. "Don't worry. I'll keep you safe." The braided man couldn't help the snort of disbelief. Jim had no idea he was about to face former gundam pilots, and if it were humanly possible, he'd make sure the artist didn't find out. That information had the potential for ruining the friendship they'd developed. Instead of replying to Jim's offer of protection, Duo kept his mouth shut and leaned against the taller man's shoulder while closing his eyes and enjoying the warmth and closeness he offered. He'd been alone for far too long, he decided.

If he hadn't been so nervous, Duo would probably have fallen asleep. Still, it didn't seem long before the chauffeur-driven car came to a complete stop. He opened his eyes in time to see the driver roll down his window and look directly into a retinal scan which activated the large iron gates in front of the car to open. Sitting up straight, Duo felt his heart speed up with anticipation as the vehicle proceeded up the driveway. He was anxious to see Quatre and Trowa but understandably wary of the unavoidable reunion with Heero and Wufei, not knowing how either of the Asian men would react to his return.

The car stopped in front of the stairs leading to the double door entrance of the large, imposing home. As he exited the car behind Jim, those impressive doors flew open and Quatre Winner came flying out. Duo didn't know how his friend had made it down the stairs so quickly, but before he could blink Quatre had him enveloped in a tight embrace. He fought down the lump in his throat as he hugged his friend back just as tightly, the sensation of being home nearly overwhelmed him.

"Oh, Duo. It's so wonderful to have you home again. It's the best gift anyone could ever give me," Quatre said in a voice so soft that only Duo could hear.

"Missed you so much, Quat."

The slightly taller of the two pulled back to take a close look at his long lost friend. His blue eyes searched Duo's face, then scanned his entire body from head to toe. "Seems the mountain air agrees with you," Quatre said with a grin brightening his face. "You look better than ever, older even. In fact, you could pass as being nineteen."

"Har har," Duo said with a roll of his eyes. "That's pretty much calling the kettle black, isn't it?" Sticking his chest out Duo boasted, "I look every bit of twenty-two. And you look like you're..." Duo paused to return the blond's appraising gaze, then smiled and said, "happy."

"I am happy, and now that you're here everything is going to be perfect." The blond's smile convinced Duo that his friend spoke from his heart. Quatre then stepped back and turned to Jim, and with warmth and sincerity he said, "Welcome. You must be Jim. I'm Quatre Winner. Pleased to meet you."

Jim managed to smile and look only mildly star struck as he clasped hands with Quatre and stammered out a not too embarrassing reply. "James Denton, nice to meet you, too."

"The pleasure is all mine," the famous blond grinned. Meanwhile, the chauffeur had gotten their bags out of the trunk, including the large case that held the painting. The bulky object caught Quatre's eyes and he looked to Duo questioningly. "What's that?"

"A gift celebrating your getting hitched," he announced, giving his artist friend a quick wink.

Quatre turned to Duo with a look of worry on his handsome face. "You didn't spend a lot of money, did you? You know I don't expect you to buy anything for us. As I said, your presence is the best gift of all."

"Nah, I actually didn't spend a dime, though I probably shouldn't tell you that."

"Now I'm intrigued." He could see the gears turning in Quatre's mind noted and the sudden, suspicious narrowing of his eyes. "This isn't some kind of gag gift, is it, Duo? It's not going to explode during the middle of the ceremony, right?"

"No." Duo couldn't help but laugh. He'd played a few practical jokes during and after the war, just to loosen everyone up. He would probably never outlive those few stupid jokes. "I promise it's something you'll like. In fact, I hope you'll love it."

"Can I open it now?" the blond asked with excitement lighting his eyes.

"Only if Trowa's here."

"I am," a pleasant tenor voice said from the top of the stairs. Duo looked up to see the auburn haired man standing on the top landing. He was as tall, lean and handsome as ever. It was easy to see why Quatre had fallen head over heels for the guy when they were teenagers, but as a man, the former circus clown was eye candy. Trowa's fine bone structure softened his otherwise masculine features. No one could ever say that Trowa wasn't handsome, and they wouldn't be wrong in saying aside that he teetered on being beautiful. His hair was cut shorter in front than it had been during the war, giving everyone a good look at his stunning green eyes that noticeably softened as he gazed down at him. Duo had only witnessed such a tender expression from Trowa before when he caught him looking at Quatre. "Aren't you going to say hello, Duo?" the auburn haired man asked with a smile teasing the corners of this mouth.

He took the wide granite stairs two at a time and almost tackled his much taller friend, but Trowa caught him easily, his step faltering only slightly as he held Duo close to his chest with the braided man's face buried in his shoulder. "Welcome home," Trowa said warmly, and Duo felt an enormous amount of relief that his friend and former partner wasn't angry with him for taking off as he had.

Giving the other man a couple of manly thumps on the back, Duo mumbled, "Missed you, man."

Trowa pushed him back in order to give him a chastising look. "Leaving the way you did wasn't right, Duo. We were worried about you. Give me your word you won't do it again."

Duo's smile faded as he considered Trowa's request. Could he promise him he wouldn't take off again?

"Trowa," Quatre's tone was a gentle rebuke to his lover. "Duo only did what he felt he had to do."

"He hurt you."

"Yes," the blond admitted, putting his hand on his newly returned friend's shoulder. "But the fact that he's alive and well, rather than dead as we feared, makes it easy for me to forgive his thoughtlessness. I don't think he'll do it again, will you, Duo?"

The braided man now had both of his friends looking at him questioningly. He studied them in return and saw hope flicker in Quatre's eyes and uncertainty in Trowa's. He'd unintentionally hurt them once and didn't think he could do it again. Besides, he had missed them. With every intention of keeping his word, he answered, "No, I won't disappear again without telling someone where I'm going."

As they stood talking at the top of the stairs, Jim carried his case holding his painting up the stairs and was met on the landing by someone who, by his mode of dress, looked a lot like a butler. Grinning, Quatre grabbed both Duo and Trowa's arms and propelled them both towards the open doorway, calling out for Jim to follow along. The door was being held open by another proper-looking man in a suit, who was directed by Quatre to have their luggage delivered to the blue guest room. Duo and Jim then followed the other two men into the drawing room. Duo stopped short after passing the doorway, taken aback by the large display of wrapped gifts that filled the tabletops, chairs and floor alongside the walls.

"Holy shit, Quat," he gasped, guessing that he was looking at hundreds of beautifully wrapped presents and wondering how his own gift would compare next to those of all the wealthy people Quatre knew. He figured only a few of the gifts had come from Trowa's more humble-in-the-pocketbook acquaintances, with the majority coming from Quatre's family and their business acquaintances. He glanced worriedly at Jim, who merely smiled confidently.

"I can't wait," Quatre declared. "Let's open Duo's gift now." Quatre set about clearing gifts off the sofa. Jim immediately placed the case against the back of the furniture and suggested one of them to open it by unzipping the sides. Trowa stepped forward and performed the task with Quatre standing at his shoulder, excitement radiating from him.

Watching from the side of the sofa, Jim stood close enough to Duo for their arms to touch and shifted to sling an arm around the shorter man's shoulder. "They seem like great guys," Jim said in a low voice.

"They're the best," Duo said, looking fondly at the two as they worked together at unfastening the case and pulling out the contents. "Think they'll like it?"

He glanced up at Jim to see a spark of... mischief in his eyes. "Oh, I think they'll love it. And just to make sure I put a little something extra in with the original painting that's going to be frosting on the cake."

"What?" This was news to him.

At that moment the case was opened and Quatre began pulling at the layers of bubble warp to expose the protected gift. Once the plastic sheets lay in a pile on the floor, the two men each took a rough-framed canvas and turned it around to see what their gift was. Three audible gasps were heard as two paintings were revealed. Quatre's eyes were wide with appreciation and surprise while Trowa's pleasure was seen by the slight upturned corners of his mouth. Duo gazed in shock at the added gift.

It was a painting of him.

"You painted these?" Quatre asked Jim.

The gifted artist simply nodded his head in acknowledgment, looking pleased. When Quatre's attention went back to the pictures, Jim leaned over to whisper in Duo's ear. "I captured your likeness from one of the pictures I took at the lake, that day we went out waterskiing with your friends from work." Duo looked back at the picture, noting the familiar hills in the background as well as the lake. His image, or at least the top third of his body, was pictured in the center of the canvas, looking both tan and healthy. Jim had obviously taken his picture when he'd closed his eyes and raised his face to bask in the warm sunshine. The painting portrayed him as some kind of a sun worshiper, his pleasure-filled face tilted upwards, his chest bare and arched forward with his long braid resting over his shoulder, looking a bit messy after the day spent in the water. If it had been anyone else but him, Duo might have said the portrait was beautiful. Jim had perfectly captured what he'd felt at that moment: peace and utter contentment.

"They're beautiful," Quatre gushed, turning to the two of them. "You have an amazing talent, Jim. I don't know how to express my appreciation and gratitude. I'm... overwhelmed."

Trowa nodded his head. "Thank you," he said sincerely. "You not only captured us perfectly, but Duo's portrait is stunning. I assume by the look on your face, Duo, that you didn't know about this painting?"

"I was in on the portrait of you and Quat," he answered, giving Jim a incriminating glare, "but I had no clue about the other one."

"It's something I worked on during the summer but held off giving it to you, not knowing if you'd like it or not. You didn't seem to be the kind of guy who'd be comfortable hanging your own portrait on your apartment wall, and I guessed you wouldn't be happy with me putting it up for display and sale in the gallery either, so I thought giving it to your good friends was the perfect solution."

"And I'm so glad you did," Quatre said, lifting the simple framed picture of Duo and placing it against the back of the pale green chintz sofa. Trowa set the portrait of the two of them next to it and the two lovers stood back to admire their gifts. "Wonderful, aren't they, Trowa?" Quatre asked, slipping his arm around his partner's waist and placing his head against his shoulder.

"Absolutely. I don't think we'll receive anything as personal as this."

Jim nudged Duo with his elbow. "Mission accomplished," he said with a grin.

The once familiar phrase, spoken often by Heero during the war, startled the three former gundam pilots. "Ah... yeah," Duo answered after a slight delay.

Jim's smile began to fade. "Did I say something wrong?" he asked, his eyes shooting from Duo to the other two.

"No, of course not," Duo answered quickly. "It's just that a friend of ours used to say that a lot."

An uneasy smile returned to Jim's face. "From the way you guys reacted, it must have been an old lover."

"Ah... yeah, it was," Duo confessed, quickly looking down at the carpet so that Jim and the other two wouldn't see how much talking about Heero still hurt.

"You must be tired after your journey," Quatre spoke up, and Duo could have kissed him for changing the subject. "If I recall correctly, Duo never sleeps well on airplanes."

"Yeah, I'm wiped out," Duo confessed. "Do you mind if I take a nap?"

"Not at all. Let me show you to your room, and if you're not tired, Jim, Trowa and I would be happy to drive you around the city, show you the sights."

"I'm good," the artist answered with a grin. "I'd appreciate the tour."

Trowa led everyone out of the room while Quatre nabbed his returned friend by the arm and pulled him along. "I can't thank you two enough for the paintings. I'm touched by both of them." He looked over to Jim and added, "You captured Duo perfectly. I'm going to have both paintings properly framed this afternoon and have them hung by dinner. We're having a pre-ceremony gathering here tonight, so you'll get to meet Duo's other friends."

There wasn't anything else Quatre could have said to make Duo feel more uncomfortable. There was little doubt that Heero and Wufei would be showing up, and he had to wonder how they were going to react to seeing him amongst the guests. "Do they know I'm here?" he asked.

"Of course." The blond's head turned sharply to Duo's direction, his face a picture of alarm. "I wasn't supposed to keep it a secret, was I?"

Shaking his braided head, Duo replied, "I guess we never discussed it, so I guess it's alright. How much did you tell them about me?"

"Only that we emailed and talked occasionally. I didn't say where you were, other than North America."

Duo didn't know why he felt so relieved by that bit of information, but he did. "It's alright," he reassured his friend, wanting to put his mind at ease. "I'm just a bit nervous about seeing everyone again and I don't really how I'm going to answer their questions."

Trowa stopped suddenly and turned to address Duo in front of a doorway. "In the past you made it a point to never tell a lie. I think answering everyone's questions honestly is the logical course, that is unless you've changed."

"I suppose I have changed, but not that much," he replied. Trowa simply nodded, then turned the doorknob and motioned both of their guests into the room. Duo recognized their baggage sitting at the foot of the beds. Yes, that's right, beds. He hadn't spoken with Quatre about the sleeping arrangements, and he'd only given a fleeting thought about the possibly of sharing a bed with Jim, so it came as a relief to him that the room had two twin beds, both with matching pale blue satin comforters that seemed appropriate for Quatre's home, but utterly decadent to Duo's more simple tastes.

"I hope you'll be comfortable in this room," their blond host began. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask either Trowa, myself or any of the staff."

"Looks great, Quat," Duo said, unsuccessfully stifling a yawn. He really was looking forward to getting some shuteye and the bed was more than a little inviting.

"We'll let you rest," Trowa said, taking his lover by the arm and propelling him towards the doorway. "Make yourself at home if you get hungry, Duo. We'll probably be back before you wake up."

"Have fun," he called out with a wink aimed at Jim. The taller man returned the grin as well as a wave of farewell and then disappeared out the door after the other two, gently shutting it behind him.

Duo made a quick trip to the bathroom, then stripped off his clothing and climbed into bed, which happened to feel just as good as it looked. Despite his worry over that evening's get together, he fell asleep within moments after his head fell onto the sweet smelling and wonderfully soft pillow.

TBC

Sorry for the delay. Thanks for all your comments and enthusiasm for this story. You guys are the best!


	8. Chapter 8

**When One Door Closes  
By Dyna Dee**

Part 8

The soft click of the door woke Duo from his nap. Jim turned from shutting the door behind him and gave the man on the bed an apologetic smile when their eyes met. Sitting up, Duo rubbed the sleep from his eyes and asked in a groggy voice, "What time is it?"

"Four. You've been asleep for about six hours."

"Sorry," he said around a yawn. "Didn't mean to sleep so long."

"Don't worry about it. I had a good time with Quatre and Trowa. I had read some where that Quatre Winner was a charmer, but I never imagined he'd be genuinely nice. I can't tell you how impressed I am by him. Trowa is a very lucky man."

"Funny," Duo grinned at his friend's words, "but Quatre believes he's the lucky one. They're perfect for each other."

"I can see that. They're to be envied."

Duo could only nod in agreement. "Did Quat say what time this shindig is tonight?"

Jim crossed the room to his bags sitting at the foot of his bed and answered, "The guests are arriving around six and dinner will be served at seven."

Yawning, Duo asked, "So, do you want to shower first or should I?"

Unzipping his suitcase, the other man glanced up to give the braided man an appraising once over. "I think that hair of yours demands you go first. I can only assume it takes a while to dry."

"Yeah, it does."

"Go on, gorgeous." Jim waved him off with a grin. "And wear something sexy."

Duo got up from the bed, grabbed his toiletry bag and carried it with him to the bathroom. "Do you have any idea who's going to be here tonight? Sexy definitely isn't part of the plan. Now cool, yeah, I can definitely aim for casually cool and on the safe side of drool worthy, but not sexy."

"Really? Who's coming to dinner?" Jim hurriedly asked just as Duo shut the bathroom door behind him. He didn't bother to answer the question, but turned on the shower instead, thinking he'd let Jim find out for himself the answer to that question.

The clock by the bed reported the time to be 6:15 p.m. If they left soon they would be fashionably late. Duo was dressed in tailored dress pants, a European cut royal blue shirt and an artfully wacky tie designed by some American rocker. It was dubbed Squirrel's Fantasy. He checked himself out in the full-length mirror and had to admit he'd achieved the look he was going for, the upside of casually cool. His hair was loosely braided, allowing several strands to frame his face, reminiscent of his carefree and happy appearance in the portrait Jim had painted of him.

With his thoughts returning to the portrait, he wondered what room Quatre and Trowa were going to hang it in. He honestly didn't know how to feel about having his likeness on canvas, much less that it was going to be hanging in his best friend's home, though Jim was correct in assuming that he'd feel uncomfortable hanging a portrait of himself in his own apartment. That seemed rather narcissistic. Depicting him from waist up left the viewer ignorant of the fact that he had worn long swim trunks on the day the picture on the beach had been taken and giving the impression that he was completely naked as he basked in the sunshine. His cheeks warmed with embarrassment at the mere thought of anyone believing he'd posed in the nude for James Denton. He could only hope the portrait would be displayed in some little used room. Really, he told himself, it wasn't something one would put in a prominent place in such a fancy home as this one.

"Are you done fretting yet?"

Duo turned to Jim who was sitting patiently on his bed, obviously waiting for him. "I'm not fretting."

"Really?"

"I'm just a bit nervous," he replied, resuming his pacing. "I haven't seen these people for over two years, including my former lover. I think it might have been a mistake coming back."

"Quatre and Trowa would be disappointed to hear that."

Duo's eyes narrowed. "What's with the guilt trip?"

"I've never seen you like this," Jim said, looking concerned as he rose to his feet. He walked over to Duo and put an arm around his shoulders. "Why are you so tense? These people are your friends, right? What's the worst that could happen?"

"You have no idea who they are or what they're capable of."

"Then tell me."

Duo shook his head. "I can't. It's too complicated. We're too complicated."

The blond man sighed audibly. "Complicated or not, we're late. I'll stick by your side and even pretend to be your boyfriend, if you want me too."

"Thanks, but I don't know if that's a good idea. Let's just play it by ear, all right?"

"Whatever you say, gorgeous." Jim kept his arm around Duo's shoulders while leading him towards the bedroom door. "Just remember that you look incredible tonight and I'm not too shabby either, so put a smile on your face and let's give all these mysterious friends of yours something to talk about."

Leaving the room and making their way down the long corridor and the fancy staircase that led to the lower landing, Duo could hear voices drifting out from the living room and immediately his palms began to get sweaty and his heart began to race. His steps faltered and Jim gave him a quick glance to see if he was alright. He but didn't say anything nor did he halt their progress as he continued to lead Duo down the stairs to the party.

The two visitors walked into the brightly lit drawing room to see maybe a dozen people chatting and enjoying what looked to be champagne. Duo had little doubt that they were imbibing Quatre's favorite, a non-alcoholic beverage. His Arabian friend made an effort to adhere to the rules of behavior that had been instilled in him since he was very young. Unfortunately for the Winner family, who'd put so much hope into Quatre carrying on the bloodline and the family name, they hadn't counted on him being gay. Some of his sisters had apparently accepted his sexual orientation, but more than half of them had turned their backs on their little brother, not quite telling him he was a disappointment, but not accepting his relationship with Trowa either. Duo knew how much their rejection had hurt his sensitive blond friend, a pleaser by nature, who was unable to make peace with the people who were his family who couldn't accept him being homosexual.

With a quick scan of the room, Duo easily located his flaxen haired friend with Trowa glued to his side. They were speaking with three people he easily recognized: Wufei, Lucrezia Noin and Milliardo Peacecraft. On the other side of the room Lady Une appeared to be in deep conversation with Rashid, dressed in the biggest suit Duo had ever laid eyes on, while a couple of men he recalled as being Maguanacs were huddled a few feet away and snickering with amusement at some private joke. There were a couple of small groups of guests conversing amongst themselves and Duo didn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed that Heero didn't seem to be present.

"Duo!" Lady Une had obviously spotted him, and suddenly the eyes of everyone in the room turned towards him. "There you are." The tall lady was walking towards him and he could only blink with surprise. He'd never seen her dressed in evening wear before and he was surprised to realize she was actually quite pretty. Her long brown hair, free from its usual confining bun that rested at the back of her head, was curling up slightly several inches below her shoulders. Though her eyes appeared much softer than her usual no-nonsense, gimlet regard, there was a warning in them that wordlessly demanded he not move an inch. Funny, he thought, he'd never really noticed her eyes before and wondered why. Ah... She wasn't wearing her glasses.

The Director of the Preventers stopped directly in front of him, her dangling earrings swaying back and forth. "Your little vacation turned into a rather lengthy AWOL, Mr. Maxwell. Does your appearance tonight signify a more permanent return? Your job at Preventers is still open."

Hoping to divert the question, Duo introduced his companion to Lady Une, adding that she was the Director of the Preventer organization. The two shook hands and expressed the proper niceties.

Jim studied the tall woman with a dumbstruck expression on his handsome face. "You were Duo's boss?"

"He was one of my finest agents," Une answered quite cheerfully, all the while grinning at Duo. The braided man realized she was having a good time at his expense. Her gaze then shifted back to Jim. "And you are the artist Quatre so highly praised. I'm very impressed by the portraits. You're very talented, Mr. Denton."

"Please call me James."

"Only if you call me Anne."

Duo could tell by the way his former boss smiled at his friend that she was definitely attracted to him, not that he could blame her. He decide to save her from embarrassing herself by looping his arm through Jim's, giving a clear signal that the other man was off limits.

Une's gaze dropped down to where their arms were linked and her eyes widened for just a moment before her cheeks turned a brighter shade of pink. "So, Duo." Her attention snapped back to her long-lost agent. "Are you back for good or not?"

"No, I'm only here for a visit."

"I see," she said knowingly, her manner becoming more serious. "Am I allowed to ask where you've been for the last year and nine months?"

"You may ask," he answered with a cheeky grin.

"But that doesn't mean you're going to tell me, are you?"

"I don't think so."

After a brief, disappointed sigh, she said, "Well, it's certainly a pleasure and great relief to see you again. I can now rest at night knowing you didn't drive yourself over some cliff on that motorcycle of yours. You know what they say about that mode of transportation don't you?"

"Sure. They're an accident waiting to happen," he replied with a shrug, having heard her voice that warning many times in the past. "But I'm still here, aren't I?"

One of her finely sculpted eyebrows rose as she answered, "You're still young, and supremely lucky."

"I prefer to call my superior driving abilities talent."

The good lady gave a snort of amusement. "Come by my office when you're ready to take on a real job again." She then surprised him by leaning forward and kissing his cheek. "It really is good to see you again, Duo. Don't be a stranger." She smiled again, then turned to Jim. "It was certainly a pleasure to meet you, James. I hope to see more of your work one day."

The artist thanked her and again stated he had been delighted to meet her. Still smiling, the good lady turned to leave, revealing none other than a pissed-off looking Wufei Chang, who had apparently been standing behind her, most likely listening in on the whole conversation.

"Hello, Wufei. How've you been?" Duo asked, sounding calmer than he felt, his smile turning nervous. His former comrade made a sudden move and Duo's arms automatically came up in a defensive pose, thinking the other man was about to strike him... only to find himself being embraced.

"You idiot," Wufei hissed even as he squeezed the daylights out of the braided man. He held him for a long moment then let go abruptly and stepped back. "Are you back to stay?" he asked.

"Ah... no. I'm here at Quatre's request."

Wufei shook his head, obviously disappointed with his answer. "You had us worried sick, you know. After not hearing from you for so long we wondered whether or not you were lying dead in some ditch because you didn't have the sense to get off that damn bike of yours when the weather turned foul."

"It wasn't my intention to worry you, Wu," Duo said in a contrite voice. "And I did contact Director Une and asked that she deliver the message that I was alive and well."

"We thought she was just saying that to put our minds at ease," Wufei said, still frowning. "Heero was understandably beside himself for months."

A derisive snort escaped Duo after hearing that statement. Heero was beside himself? That was pretty damn hard to believe. "You doubt my word?" Wufei questioned, one black eyebrow rising.

"Heero left me, Wufei. Why the hell would he be 'beside himself'?"

Instead of answering the question, the Chinese man asked, "Why did you run, Duo? That was definitely not part of the agreement between Heero and yourself."

He was referring to the agreement made during the intervention that happened during the last holiday they'd spent together at Quatre and Trowa's place. As far as Duo could remember, their friends helped Heero to convince him that his moving out was the only solution to their problems. What he did after that never really came up for discussion. He gave Wufei a careless shrug as he answered his question. "I considered my options and leaving the whole damn situation behind seemed to be the best thing to do. Besides, you know running is what I do best."

Those dark, slanted eyes narrowed further as Wufei answered. "That was your motto when we were kids fighting a war, Duo. You're a grown man now, and as such you're expected to act like one."

Duo shrugged again. "We each have our own coping mechanisms, Wu. Running away might not have been the choice you'd have made, but I did what I had to in order to protect myself."

His former comrade continued to frown as he asked, "And who exactly were you protecting yourself from? Me? Quatre and Trowa? Was there some hidden abuse by Yuy that you hid from us and caused you to be afraid of him?"

"Whoa, hold on there." Duo shot back while putting his hands up to stop Wufei from going any further with that train of thought. "Let's not get carried away, all right? Heero didn't physically hurt me, he only broke my heart."

Wufei's intense gaze remained focused on the American. Then, with a curt nod, he accepted Duo's statement and those dark orbs shifted to Jim who'd been standing silently next to the braided man, taking in all that was being said. "Who are you?" Wufei demanded as he made a slow head-to-toe assessment of the artist.

"He's with me," Duo answered for his dumbstruck companion. He had to force himself not to laugh out loud at Wufei's haughty attitude. It seemed his friend hadn't changed all that much. Jim, in response to Wufei's question and attitude, stood stiff and silent next to him. Meeting his four friends was definitely going to be something the artist would never forget.

"Oh, the artist."

Wufei had made the delivery of snide and judgmental comments into an art form when they were still teenagers. The way he would sneer the word "onna" often sent women into a rampage who didn't even understand the meaning of the word. With the tone Wufei had used in speaking those two words that described Jim's profession, he'd proven he was still master of disdain by successfully rendering the tall, normally over-confident artist into someone who suddenly looked insecure and uncertain of himself.

"Ah lay off, Wu. Jim's a good guy." Duo said while turning to his companion and clapping a hand to the taller man's shoulder. "James Denton, meet Wufei Chang. His snooty attitude is almost as bad as his sense of humor, but he's a great man to have at your back." Jim looked at Duo with confusion dancing in his eyes.

"And Duo can be a babbling buffoon," Wufei stated in return, still looking serious. Yet Duo knew that if one looked closely enough, the small twitching at the corners of the Chinese man's lips was fairly easy to see. Duo's own grin was hard to contain as their eyes met once again, and suddenly time seemed to reverse itself and they were comrades in arms once again.

"It's really good to see you again, Wu," he told his friend with great affection.

Wufei gave him a small smile in return, and Duo observed a glint of honest warmth in those dark eyes. "For me too," his friend replied. "And I must say, I'm relieved to find you fully clothed. After seeing the portrait of you in Quatre's study, I was afraid you'd joined some nudist colony and had taken to worshiping the sun."

"Quatre showed that to you?" Duo asked, embarrassed that something so personal was being viewed.

"Not personally, but he's invited all his guests this evening to view the portraits you presented to them on the occasion of their union. He's quite enamored of them, you know, especially your portrait. You'll have to be careful that Trowa doesn't become jealous." Wufei then turned his attention back to Jim. "You're talent is impressive, Mr. Denton."

Duo gritted his teeth and definitively declared, "I wasn't nude. I happened to be wearing swim trunks when that picture was taken."

One black eyebrow rose. "Something your friend conveniently left out."

"Swim wear wasn't necessary to capture the essence of Duo's expression," Jim answered, defending his work.

"I think I need to see Mr. Generous Winner and put a halt to the open viewing." Duo declared while scanning the room for Quatre. While searching out his friend, he caught sight of movement by the doorway and witnessed Heero walking into the room with none other than Relena Peacecraft holding onto his arm.

"Damn!" Duo hissed just under his breath. His eyes zeroed in on the handsome Japanese man and his heart skipped a beat or two. Why did Heero have to look so damn hot in a perfectly-fitted black suit and tie?

Wufei turned his head to the direction of Duo's obvious discomfort. Seeing Heero he said, "If you'll excuse me, I think I hear someone calling my name." With a quick nod of his head to Duo and his guest, the Chinese man made a hasty retreat.

"Liar," Duo muttered accusingly. "Never knew you to be such a chicken-shit, Wufei."

Over his shoulder, the Chinese man gave him a parting grin, saying, "A wise man knows when to make a strategic exit. I'll see you later, Duo. Mr. Denton."

Giving his parting Chinese friend an murderous glare, Duo then checked back to see where Heero was. Much to his dismay, Heero left Relena at the door and was walking with purposeful strides across the room, heading in their direction. Duo hoped that mayhem wasn't on the Heero's agenda tonight. That observation was immediately followed by a quick, appreciative once-over of the approaching man, followed by the thought, _Damn, but he's hot_. "Shit!"

"Is that him? Your former lover?"

Duo gave a nod in answer to Jim's question, then under his breath hissed, "Quick, hide me."

Jim chuckled somewhat nervously and put a protective arm around Duo's shoulder. "It's a little late for that. What's the worst he could do?"

He didn't have the heart to tell Jim that the arm set around his shoulders, an act of protection on his friend's part, would be ineffectual against Heero if the former gundam pilot decided to clock him. He kept those thoughts to himself, however, because despite the artist's ignorantly foolish move, Duo couldn't help but be proud of his friend for wanting to stand up for him, acting like his protector against the formidable looking man bearing down on them.

Duo cast a quick glance back to the approaching menace. Heero's step faltered momentarily when Jim pulled him flush against his side. Deciding to make the best out of a potentially bad situation, the braided man straightened his back and squared his shoulders just as Heero came to a full stop in front of them. Those penetrating blue eyes remained fixed on Jim's hand, still cupping his shoulder.

Time to break the building tension, Duo thought. "Hey, Heero. Long time no see."

Jim's hold tightened while Heero's gaze shifted to his face. His former lover's gaze was so intense that Duo thought the man might be trying to read his thoughts. He hoped to high heaven he couldn't because then Heero would know exactly how much his nearness was affecting him. Looking into Heero's eyes and standing close enough that he could smell his former lover's familiar cologne, he felt a resurgence of all the feelings he'd tried so hard to suppress for the past year and a half. He'd forgotten what a heady experience it was, standing close to Heero. Touching him skin to skin had been even better, and making love with the sexy, blue-eyed Japanese man had been the best feeling to date that he'd ever experienced.

He wasn't really surprised by Heero's lack of greeting, nor the tight and clipped tone when he finally deigned to speak. His former lover always did cut right to the chase. "Where have you been and why the hell did you run, Duo?"

Trying for an air of nonchalance, Duo shrugged and calmly answered, "Here and there. You know, just getting my shit together."

Heero snorted in reply, though his gaze remained riveted on the braided man. After a few long and awkwardly drawn-out moments passed, it appeared that Heero was going to simmer in his juices and wait for him to say something. Duo, feeling suddenly like there was no one else in the room but he and his former lover, was unable to stand the strained silence and without thinking blurted out, "I hear you've been busy since I left. Congratulations on your engagement. No wait, scratch that," he rushed to correct himself. "That happened shortly after I left. Sorry I missed all the excitement, by the way, but I'm sure you understand."

"The engagement was a mistake," Heero stated quite stiffly, and it seemed to Duo that he'd definitely struck a sore nerve. Then, just as he began to enjoy Heero's reaction to his not-so-subtle teasing, he recalled his shrink telling him that his need to "get one up" on whomever he was verbally or physically sparring with wasn't a healthy way to communicate or build a relationship. Damn, he was backsliding, especially in light of the fact that he'd been doing so well in Park City with the people he associated with on a daily basis. He had to wonder why Heero seemed to bring out the worst in him. With that in mind, he let go of any stinging retorts powering up in the back of his mind and tried for some neutral ground.

"I assume you graduated from the university?"

Heero actually blinked at the abrupt change of topic, and Duo wondered if he had been gearing up as well for a good round of arguing.

"I did," he replied, deadpan serious. "But you're avoiding answering my questions. Why did you run, Duo?"

And here he'd been trying to be pleasant. "You left me, Heero, or did you forget our last afternoon together? Our farewell fuck? It really isn't any of your business why I left or where I went after you walked out the door, and I can't imagine why you even care. You made your choice and I was left to make mine."

"We agreed to a trial separation," Heero stated with a flicker of something in his eyes that Duo couldn't quite figure out. Whether it was it a hint of hurt or remorse he didn't know. "I never intended for us to be apart for long."

"Becoming engaged after I'd been gone for only a few months shows that you didn't miss me all that much," Duo shot back, his ire rising. He had to force himself not to take a defensive action when Heero took a step forward and grabbed hold of the lapels of his jacket. With a rough jerk Duo found himself pulled close to the angry man, their noses mere inches apart. With his hands gripping Heero's, Duo opened his mouth to demand Heero release him, but before he could say or do anything the insistent ringing of the dinner bell sounded, surprisingly loud and frantic, as if the person ringing it was trying to end a round of boxing.

"Duo! Heero!" Quatre got the attention of both men by anxiously calling out their names as he rushed towards them. The blond stopped once he reached Duo's side and motioned with his hand for Heero to let go of his jacket. Duo was surprised to find himself immediately released as Heero complied with Quatre's unspoken demand. "Dinner is about to be served," the blond continued, nonplused. "Come now, let's not keep everyone waiting." It was obvious that Quatre was trying to keep them from causing a scene. Duo glanced over the blond's shoulder to see that Trowa was busy ushering everyone else out of the room and directing them towards the dining hall.

Quatre looped his hand through Duo's arm and forcefully pulled him several feet away from Heero before he looked to Jim. "Would you please escort Duo to the dining room, Jim? I'd like to speak to Heero for a moment."

Duo had forgotten about Jim. A quick glance confirmed that the artist was feeling like a fish out of water, which made Duo feel like a complete heel. The poor guy could probably sense that Heero wasn't just some ordinary guy, but he had no idea that he was dealing with the very formidable pilot of the gundam Wing Zero. Duo decide that getting himself and Jim out of there and away from Heero as quickly as possible was probably the best course of action at the moment. Taking the artist's cold and stiff hand into his own, he pulled him towards the door.

"Who the hell is that?" Duo heard Heero snarl as they made their hasty retreat. Quatre answered in a low tone of voice that made it impossible for the retreating pair to hear his reply. He could only hope Quatre wouldn't over exaggerate Jim's place in his life.

Jim didn't say a word until they reached the doorway, where he paused for a moment to look back over his shoulder and then visibly shuddered. "Damn, Duo. Your friends are nuts."

"Yeah, they take a little getting used to," he replied while continuing to pull Jim towards the dining room where he hoped they would find safety in numbers.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**When One Door Closes  
Dyna Dee**

Chapter 9

Duo and Jim entered the long and narrow dining room to find it illuminated by hundreds of lit candles, giving the formal-looking space a cozy and intimate ambiance. Trowa shot Duo a concerned look before directing he and Jim to the other end of the very long table. They found their names printed on place cards, set at the top of the place setting. Duo was gratified after seeing Jim was seated to the left of him, wanting to be close at hand in order to steer any conversation away from revealing his past to the artist. They remained standing by their chairs, chatting together and with the other guests taking their places, while waiting for Quatre to enter the room, which he did a few moments later.

The blond walked calmly through the open doorway with Heero at his side. The handsome, dark haired man's face bore a much calmer expression than it had moments before, suggesting that Quatre had the situation well in hand. Trowa, still standing by the door, directed Heero with a gesture of his hand to the location of his seat, which happened to be at the farthest end of the table from where Duo and Jim were sitting.

Duo breathed a sigh of relief at Quatre's foresight regarding the seating arrangements. The significant distance between himself and Heero would no doubt make the meal a bit more pleasant than if they had been seated within shouting distance.

Quatre took his lover's arm and together they walked the length of the room, smiling at their guest and looking like they hadn't a care in the world. When they reached the head of the table and sat down, it signaled everyone else in the room to take their place. A bevy of hired help immediately emerged from the door leading to the kitchen. Large, nearly flat bowls filled to the brim with soup were placed in front of each of the diners. Duo sighed, a bit dismayed. This was going to be a formal meal after all.

Lifting the spoon towards his mouth for a first taste of the broth, Duo paused after sensing someone's eyes on him. He turned his head to glance at Jim and found the tall blond looking back at him, a perplexed expression on his face.

"What?"

"I was just wondering how you came to know such interesting people. You're quite the mystery, Duo. I just realized that you have told me the most minimal information about yourself. It's as if you're purposely hiding something from me. Who are you, really?"

Duo set his spoon back in the bowl of soup and took a breath before beginning. "I'm afraid my past isn't a suitable topic for the dinner table, Jim. If you remember, I've already told you that I came from L-2. I don't know if I was born there or not, but it's where I was abandoned to grow up on the streets of that hell-hole colony. Now, please, I've said all I want to about that topic." At that point he turned his attention back to the bowl in front of him and resumed sipping the soup before declaring, "Um... it's good."

For a long moment Jim remained silent and unmoving, and Duo could feel his gaze resting on him. The braided man hoped his traveling companion took the not-so-subtle hint that he wasn't going to elaborate on what he'd already said about his past. A moment later it seemed his wish was being granted, for instead of pursuing the topic further, the artist turned his attention towards his own soup bowl and followed Duo's example by sampling the warm broth.

Quatre, along with Trowa, conversed with two of his sisters, of which one sat next to her brother and the other her prospective brother-in-law. Duo sat to the right of Patina, the eldest of the two, an articulate, well-spoken and cultured woman in her late thirties. The group of six managed to keep the conversation at the head of the table light and pleasant and generally focused on each other's lives.

Jim happily answered questions directed to him about his art: where he went to school, what influenced or inspired him and what had he considered his more interesting subjects? Of course he had to tell them about the day he took the picture of Duo at the lake, informing everyone within listening distance that it had been captured on their second date.

The artist managed to lure Duo into the conversation by gently cajoling him into describing the dramatic falls he'd taken while trying to water ski for the first time. He then proudly told everyone that Duo had tenaciously kept getting up on the skis and trying again and again until he was able to conquer both skis and water. Duo felt the heat rising in his cheeks at Jim's commentary. While it was true that the artist wasn't relating anything that was truly embarrassing, he just didn't feel very comfortable being the main topic of conversation.

He finally managed to deflect the focus away from himself by asking his friends about the event taking place the next day. With a smile of happiness tha couldn't be denied, Quatre spoke briefly about the simple ceremony that was going to legally unite himself and Trowa. He paused a moment to give a significant look to his less talkative lover. Trowa gave an acknowledging nod of his head before rising from his seat, a move that immediately captured the attention of the twenty people seated at the long table.

Appearing composed, the tall brunette smiled fondly at those seated around the long table. "Quatre and I would like to thank all of you joining us tonight, some of you coming great distances to show us your support and love. Your friendship and our past and future associations mean more to us than words can possibly express." He paused from his speech to look down at the blond man sitting beside him. Quatre's eyes were focused solely on his lover, his eyes shining with open adoration.

With a similar gaze directed at his future husband, Trowa continued. "It's hard for me to believe that the ceremony we've both looked forward to is really going to happen. Every day I've spent with Quatre has brought me more happiness than I'd ever dared to dream of. From the moment I first met him, I was struck by his kindness, his sense of fairness and his ability to care for all those around him. He is a rare and unique person, and I will always wonder what it is that he sees in me. Whatever it is, I'm grateful, and I'm a better, happier man for having him in my life."

Everyone at the table watched as the tall brunet reached for and clasped Quatre's smaller hand in his own. "I could say that tomorrow will be the happiest day of my life," Trowa continued so softly that those sitting at the far end of the table had to strain to hear. "But everyday I've spent with Quatre has been 'the happiest' day of my life." Trowa lifted his green eyes to his captive, smiling audience. "I can honestly declare that I'm the most fortunate man alive."

Everyone at the table began to clap their hands, including Quatre who jumped out of his seat to embrace his lover tightly. Being close to them, Duo could hear his blond friend tell Trowa that he was the lucky one and that he loved him more than words could ever say. Embarrassingly enough, Duo's eyes began to tear up. He was undeniably envious of his friends happiness, of the strong, supportive and loving relationship they had. He'd had that kind of relationship, for a short while at least, and a small bit of regret crept into his heart, knowing that he'd probably never have that kind of relationship again.

Jim leaned over and quietly asked, "What's the matter?" Duo guessed that the other man had probably seen something in his demeanor change, reflecting his mood change. With an apologetic grin, he answered, "Sorry. Guess I'm just feeling a bit envious."

The look of understanding on the artist's face let him know that he wasn't the only one who was disappointed with his love life, or rather the lack of one. "It's clear they've got what we're all searching for, that unique connection, where both acceptance and love are equally given." Jim's eyes shifted again to the happy couple and a wistful sigh escaped his lips.

Following the artist's gaze, Duo couldn't help but wonder if what Quatre and Trowa had was rare. Sure, people got married everyday, but how many of them had the kind of love his two friends shared? He'd experienced something akin to that with Heero, during the wars and just after. He'd been completely enthralled with the pilot from L1, knowing his faults yet looking past them because Heero was better than anyone or anything he'd ever known. Watching as the two lovers resumed their seats, he couldn't help thinking that, yes, he and Heero had been in love like that once, despite, or maybe because of their differences. And look at them now, he thought despondently, seated on opposite ends of a table with anger and regrets from the past creating an enormous gulf between them. Their heated love affair, which he thought would last forever, had been doused by the winds of change instead of being fueled by them. Duo hoped his two friends would be able to weather any changes that came their way, for change, he had learned, planned and unexpected, was inevitable.

Planting his elbow on the table, Duo rested his chin on his open palm as he gazed with a bit of envy at his friends. He couldn't seem to tear his gaze away from them as they sat with their hands clasped and love shining from their eyes. For him, their relationship stood as an example of what he wanted for himself, and he couldn't help but wonder if everyone must desire something like that at some point in their life. But perhaps the abiding love and respect his friends enjoyed was truly exceptional and the rest of the sorry world would have to settle for something less. If he ever settled down with anyone in the future, it would definitely be second best. He'd already found and embraced the great love of his life, and then lost him. Finding anything equaling what he and Heero once had was probably expecting too much. The odds were simply stacked against him finding love like that a second time.

The next course was brought in and dinner commenced without interruptions. During the remainder of the meal, Duo resisted the strong urge to glance down the length of the table at his former lover. His resistence lasted until dessert and coffee was served, and then he finally caved in and allowed himself a quick peek. To his consternation, Heero's head was turned towards the front of the table and his deep blue eyes were focused exclusively on him. Their gazes met and locked, and for a long moment it seemed as if the room and its occupants all faded away and that time stood still. Within Heero's eyes, even at a distance, Duo detected something that bespoke of pain or possibly regret, and then something else began to flare in those deep blue depths that he couldn't decipher. He found it almost impossible to look away from that gimlet gaze, and if it hadn't been for Quatre's sister calling his name, he probably wouldn't have.

As the final dishes were cleared away, the guests were directed back into the living room. Duo and Jim became separated after he was pulled aside by Rashid to rehash the good old days and one of Quatre's sisters wanted Jim to personally show her the paintings she'd heard so much about since her arrival that evening. It was a good twenty minutes later before Duo was free to follow the rest of the group into the living room.

As he walked down the hallway, he heard familiar voices coming from Quatre's study and an immediate feeling of dread overcame him. He paused outside the open door to peer around the doorframe to see that it was indeed Jim and Heero who were in the room... alone, and standing in front of his portrait. He silently cursed the situation and slipped unobserved into the room, hoping to overhear what the two men were saying to each other.

"You successfully captured the essence of him," Heero said while gazing thoughtfully at his likeness, now matted and framed and set on a blue-velvet draped easel. The light from a long and narrow fixture clipped to the top of the easel illuminated the painting, bringing out the vibrant colors of the blue sky and water.

"I knew I had to paint him after I saw the developed pictures," Jim replied, apparently at ease as he stood regarding at the picture with his hands clasped behind his back. "He's extremely photogenic."

Heero nodded. "But you cut out his best features."

"Well, I try to keep my paintings suitable for public showing," Jim smirked. "Besides, I didn't have a picture of his 'best features', though I could probably have managed on memory alone."

Heero turned to glare at the taller man. "I was talking about his legs. Duo has great legs."

Jim put his hands up in surrender. "Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. And you're right, he does have great legs. They just weren't necessary to capture the look of absolute contentment on his face." The artist turned his attention back to the picture and sighed audibly. "It's that look on his face that caused me to fall head over heels for him."

Duo wondered what the hell Jim was doing, saying something like that to his former lover. Then Heero shocked the hell out of him by saying, "It's like an aphrodisiac, isn't it? I saw a similar expression on his face during the war, after we first met. We were both hiding out on a Sweeper ship on the ocean and he was gazing up at the moon with that same look on his face. Something inside of me changed as I watched him that night, and all of a sudden I knew that wanted him, more than I had ever wanted anything before. It was a frightening moment for me, because the only thing I was trained to want was to perfect my skills to achieve my objectives. But as I watched him stare longingly at the moon, I forgot all about my training and my mission. All I wanted was for him to look at me like that, and for a time he did." There was a definite tone of sad regret in Heero's voice as he finished his reminiscing.

Duo stood at the back of the room with his mouth hanging slack with disbelief. He could not believe Mr. Tight-Lip Yuy was opening up to a virtual stranger, telling Jim some of his most personal feelings. _Maybe Heero had too much to drink during dinner_, he thought, trying to explain his former lover's unusual behavior. _Or maybe the therapy Quatre said he'd continued to receive has actually done Heero some good. _Frowning, he recalled Heero's references to the war and could only hope that Jim had missed them.

"Are you talking about the war with the colonies?"

Shit.

Heero's head gave a short nod. "Yeah, hell of a time to lose one's heart."

"What did the two of you do during the war? You were pretty young, weren't you?" Jim probed further.

Heero chuckled darkly. "Yes, by normal military standards we were considered too young to be fighting a war, but coming from the colonies we never really knew what it was to be children."

"On which side did you fight?"

Heero looked away from the portrait to Jim, and Duo could see him coming to the realization that the taller man didn't know much about anything regarding their past. For some odd reason, Heero smiled in a manner Duo could only describe as being wily. "We f ought on the same side, of course. How long have you known Duo?"

"A couple of months."

"You're not sleeping with him, are you?"

Jim frowned and Duo was becoming very uncomfortable. "I don't think that's any of your business," the artist answered, sounding rightly offended. A dark chuckle came from Heero again. "What?" Jim asked, looking affronted.

"Are you some sort of ploy manufactured by Duo to make me believe he's got a lover? I can't believe he would go to such extremes to deceive me."

Duo had enough at that point, and just as Jim was about to deny Heero's charge, he let the two of men know of his presence. "No, Heero. Jim's no ploy." Both men spun around at the sound of his voice. Stepping forward, he continued. "He's my friend and he came here as my guest. If you think I've got some ulterior motive, then that's your problem." He grabbed hold of Jim's arm and quickly pulled him towards the open door.

"You and I need to talk, Duo." Heero called out after them.

"If you'll remember, talking never one of our strong points," the braided man shot over his shoulder as he rounded the corner, Jim in tow. He didn't stop moving until they were in the midst the other guests once more. In a low voice, Jim apologized, saying he found himself more or less cornered by Heero and had no choice but to speak with him.

"Just stay away from him if you can," Duo advised, hoping he wouldn't have to answer any more questions Jim's little talk with Heero was bound to bring up.

Duo spent the rest of the evening keeping Jim by his side and avoiding Heero by purposely keeping them surrounded by the other guests and involved in the conversation. Two hours after dinner Duo congratulated himself after seeing Heero take his leave of their hosts. He had successfully avoided the private chat Heero requested after all. So why, he wondered, did he suddenly feel so sad?

Later that night, as he and Jim settled into their beds after the lights had been turned out, Duo was disappointed to find his roommate couldn't do him the favor of just falling asleep.

"What did you do during the war, Duo? Heero said you fought, but he wouldn't say which side you were on. Weren't you both a bit young?"

Duo sighed as he rolled onto his back. "I don't want to talk about it, Jim. Please, don't ask."

"I don't understand." There was hurt and confusion in the other man's voice. "We're friends, or so I thought we were. Why can't you tell me? Is it that you don't want to or that you don't trust me. Or are somehow forbidden from talking about it? You said you came from L-2, and I know it's a poor colony, so you really can't blame me for being curious about how you came to know someone as rich as Quatre Winner, Relena and Milliardo Peacecraft and some of the other well-known people that were here tonight."

"Goodnight, Jim," Duo said firmly, letting the other man know that he wasn't going to answer any of his questions. An exasperated sigh was Jim's frustrated reply, and after a long stretch of silence the artist eventually settled down and fell asleep.

It took much longer before Duo's heart and mind began to calm. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Heero, as he had looked earlier that evening. _Damn but he looked good tonight. _Heero could wear a three-piece suit like no one else. Well, maybe Trowa, who had also looked great in his suit, but then so did Quat. Wufei's Chinese styled suit was certainly classy. And Zechs... He let his thoughts wander where they would, hoping he'd eventually drift off to sleep.

But no matter how he tried to distract himself, Duo's thoughts eventually drifted back to the image of Heero and he rehashed the entire small bit of conversation they'd had several times over. He didn't show it at the time, but he was surprised by Heero's statement that he never intended them to be apart for long. Why didn't he ever get that message? He clearly recalled how quickly Heero had arranged to move out of their apartment, and even though he said their separation was supposed to be temporary, Duo hadn't believed him. And his remark about Heero getting engaged had been right on the mark, as far as he was concerned. If Heero really loved him and had wanted him back, he wouldn't have gotten engaged to someone else.

It was just hours before dawn before he finally calmed down sufficiently enough to fall asleep, and when Jim attempted to rouse him at eight, he found the normally reasonable man he believed Duo to be had an entirely different side to him than he had ever seen before. Cantankerous was not an admirable trait.

Still feeling cranky and out of sorts from so little sleep, Duo stumbled bleary eyed down the staircase, wearing his best blue jeans and a Ski Utah T-shirt in order to locate some much needed coffee. The ceremony was to begin in a couple of hours and he had to wake up. Fortunately, there was a full pot of freshly brewed and strong coffee along with a wide variety of Danish pastries set out. Unfortunately, Heero was sitting at the table, calmly sipping a cup of tea while his eyes followed him as he walked further into the room.

"Have a seat," he said, as Duo turned from the sideboard with a cup filled with the steaming, aromatic brew. He didn't think Quatre would be pleased with him traipsing through the house with a full cup of potential carpet stain, so he reluctantly took a seat on the opposite side of the table from his former lover and a couple of chairs down. He proceeded to give the cup of coffee his full attention, trying his best to ignore the other man. Despite the cream and sugar he'd added, it was too hot to drink. He had no choice but to pick up his spoon and stir the living daylights out of it. In the silence that filled the room, the sterling silver clattered loudly against the sides of the fine china cup.

"Creating a whirlpool?" Heero smirked.

Duo slowed the stirring to reach for a raspberry Danish and shoved a good portion of it into his mouth. He heard Heero sigh and prepared himself for a lecture about his uncouth eating habits. He was surprised when the other man simply asked, "Why, Duo?"

"'Cause I'm hungry," he answered with a mouthful.

He could feel Heero glaring at him. "Don't play at being obtuse, you know what I'm talking about."

Duo finally looked up at him with anger sparking brightly in his eyes. "Obtuse? Are you flaunting your higher education again, Heero, or pointing out my lack of one?" He abruptly stood from his chair, no longer needing the coffee to wake him up, and turned to quickly move towards the doorway.

"What are you talking about? No, Duo, wait." The sound of a chair scraping across the floor signaled to the retreating man that Heero was standing up, but Duo didn't stop, in fact, he quickened his pace and raced towards the staircase.

"Duo! Stop!"

The American never had been very good at obeying orders. Reaching the staircase, he scaled the steps three at a time until he reached the top landing where he quickly dashed down the hall and into his assigned bedroom. Jim, standing in his suit pants and buttoning up his dress shirt, looked at Duo curiously as he slammed the door behind him and turned the lock. He waited there for a tense moment, wondering if Heero would have the audacity to knock and demand he open the door. When no sound came from the other side of the door, Duo released the breath he'd been holding and eased himself away from it to move towards the closet where his dress clothes had been hung.

"What was that about?" Jim asked.

"I ran into Heero downstairs," he explained a bit breathless, his eyes darting to the window to calculate how fast he could make an escape through it if Heero should decided to knock down the bedroom door.

"I see." The tone of disapproval in Jim's voice that caught his attention.

Turning to look at the taller man, Duo asked, "What?"

Jim shook his head. "It might be better to just sit down and talk to him instead of running away. It's actually considered healthy to get everything out in the open. It's called closure."

Irritated, Duo replied, "Listen, Jim. I can handle Heero. I just don't want to, not here, not now."

The blond put his hands up in a sign of surrender. "Understood, loud and clear. I'm butting out."

"It's not that I don't appreciate your concern," Duo said, not wanting the other man to take offense. "It's just that there's a lot of shit between Heero and I. You couldn't possibly understand."

"Maybe I would if you'd tell me."

"I can't." The room fell silent and after a moment both men turned their attention to getting ready for the ceremony that was to take place in a little over an hour.

Duo could honestly say that whatever preconceived notions he'd had about two men becoming legal partners was revised by the so-called wedding ceremony. The thirty or so invited guests, close friends and family of the two men, were seated in the garden at the back of the house. The day was bright and beautiful, with only a few feathery, white stratus clouds streaking across the early autumn sky.

Quatre and Trowa were dressed in light colored linen dress pants and white shirts. Quatre's had ruffles, similar to the shirts normally worn with a tuxedo, while Trowa's was a fitted dress shirt that Duo was sure cost a hell of a lot more than the one he bought on sale at a outlet store in Park City. Their marrying couples' lack of neckties had him quickly pulling his own off. He certainly wasn't going to wear a fancy version of a noose if they weren't.

Once everyone was seated, the two men for whom the ceremony was being held, moved forward to stand before the assemblage. Quatre, with Trowa by his side, politely thanked their guests for coming to share this special day with them. Then turning to carefully remove his violin from the open case sitting on a small, white cloth-covered table, Quatre raised his instrument to rest beneath his chin, then paused while Trowa, his flute in hand, brought the mouthpiece against his lips. Setting his bow to the strings and with a nod of the blond head, the two men began to play, performing a beautiful, perfectly in tune duet, with each instrument taking turns at the lilting melody while the other accompanied with an intricate harmony of their own. Duo had no doubt that the music and performance was meant to symbolize the couple's relationship: of the give and take, the leading and following, as well as the highs and lows; all of which was accomplished in melodic harmony. Duo thought the music was perfect and suited the occasion beautifully.

As soon as the last note was played, a distinguished looking man in a black suit, someone Duo had never seen before, stood up from a chair in the front row. Studying the man while everyone waited for Quatre and Trowa to put aside their instruments, Duo noted the gentleman sported a round protruding belly, a wide, clean-shaven face that looked both friendly and serious at the same time. And what little bit of hair the man had on his balding head was white as snow. He smiled gently at the two men in front of him as they turned to face him, and requested that they clasp each other's hand. Duo understood then that the man in the suit was a magistrate of some kind.

To his relief, fearing at first that the man might be long winded and that they would bake in the warm morning sun before he finished, the judge, as he'd introduced himself to be, said only a few words about the solemn commitment the two men were about to make. In a no-nonsence manner, he asked first Quatre and then Trowa if they were willing to pledge themselves to meet the physical, emotional and temporal needs of each other and to legally commit themselves to the other man for the remainder of their days. After receiving a firm reply from each of the young men before him, the judge directed them to sign the paper that rested next to Quatre's violin case, which they did while the silent audience watched.

Finishing that task, the officiator turned and happily announced to the gathering that Trowa Barton and Quatre Winner were now legal partners and that the both of them, by their own choosing, would henceforth share the last name of Winner-Barton.

The newly married men enthusiastically embraced each other, and from Duo's close proximity he could just barely hear them whispering to each other, words he could only imagine were further promises, meant only for their spouse to hear. The ceremony proved to be a short and simple one, but it was just enough to make Duo long for something similar for himself.

Immediately, beautiful classical music filled the air, and while the guests rushed to congratulate the two, the fine, white linen covered tables off to the left and in the garden area were quickly filled with wonderful, aromatic food.

Duo was aware of Heero's presence to the left of him throughout the ceremony, but purposely kept his eyes directed elsewhere. He didn't want the other man to see how much he'd been affected by the simple ceremony and the show of love their two friends had for each other.

For the most part, Jim remained close to his side. He guessed the other man could tell something was bothering him, but for the life of him he didn't know why his older friend bothered with him. He'd been lousy company for him since their arrival.

Quatre must have seen the change in Duo as well, for he sidled up to him during the reception, pulling him aside in order to ask if he was alright.

"I'm fine, Quat. Envious as all hell over what you and Trowa have together, but don't get me wrong, I'm happy for the both of you."

His friend gave him a rather sad smile, and Duo knew his empathic friend could feel the hurt and longing he'd tried for so long to hide. "Was I asking too much for you to be here?"

Duo shook his head. "No. You're my best friend. It's the least I could do. Besides, it's good being you and Trowa again and to see for myself that you're happy."

"I am happy," Quatre said with an expression of bliss on his handsome face. "I've loved Trowa for so long, and now he's truly mine."

Duo nudged his friend's shoulder with his own. "He's always been yours, you dork."

The blond laughed, and it was wonderful sound to Duo's ears. "I know, but now it's legal." Quatre then sobered and looked his friend in the eye. "Now, how about you? What can I do to make you happy?"

"Nothing," Duo answered truthfully with a shake of my head. All the money in the world couldn't erase the last couple of rough and lonely years. "Just be happy knowing you're no longer a part of the fumbling-through-life, not-so-lucky bastards still looking for love." He'd been joking, kind of, but by the look on Quatre's face, it was clear he didn't believe him for a moment.

Clasping his upper arm gently, the blond said, "I don't like seeing you so down, Duo. Have you had a chance to speak with Heero? He told me last night he had every intention of speaking with you, to sort things out."

"Been avoiding him like the plague," he admitted with a bitter laugh. "I just don't see the point of a heart-to-heart chat." Quatre didn't smile, which sobered the American some. "Why reopen wounds that have never really healed?"

His good friend suddenly embraced him, holding Duo tightly, as if he could shelter him from any further hurt. Duo patted Quatre on the back, appreciating the warmth and comfort the blond always tried to give him, whether he was receptive or not. When Quatre finally released him and stepped back, it was easy to see the unshed tears in his eyes. "Will you be here when Trowa and I return next week?"

He'd forgotten they were going on a pseudo honeymoon. He shook his head. "I don't think so."

If it was possible, Quatre looked even more unhappy. "Don't worry," Duo rushed to reassure him. "I'll keep in touch. It's not like we won't see each other again."

The blond seemed to take some comfort from that reassurance, but didn't manage a true smile until Trowa's hand slipped around his waist and placed a kiss on his husband's smooth-shaven cheek. "What's up?" he asked, looking from his lover to Duo.

"Nothing," the braided man answered easily. "So where are you two going on this trip of yours?" Changing the subject to a more pleasurable topic lightened the mood considerably. After chatting about the Fiji Islands, their honeymoon destination, and sharing brief words of farewell coupled with promises that he'd stay in touch, the newly married couple moved on to speak with the rest of their guests before their scheduled departure.

Jim approached Duo with two drinks in hand. After delivering one to the braided man, he excused himself to find the nearest restroom. Duo took a sip from the cool liquid and made a quick scan around the area to make sure no one was looking his way. He took the opportunity to slip off into the gardens, needing just a few moments to himself. He strolled unhurriedly down the paths he'd been down many times before, but the lush foliage and the heady scent of blooming roses, hibiscus, azaleas and other beautifully blooming plants didn't give him the distraction he'd been looking for. He found himself preoccupied by memories of this familiar garden, when he'd walked these same paths with Heero. With a smile on his face he vividly recalled the two of them sneaking out of Quatre's many parties for a little make-out session. His smile faltered as those memories brought about a painful ache of longing and loss deep within his chest.

This was the very reason he'd run away, he grimly reminded himself. Everything in Sanq held some memory of his and Heero's past relationship, of both the good times and the bad. Running away had, more or less, allowed him to shove those memories and some of the hurt to the back of his mind. But being here again was causing all those repressed memories and pain to resurface. All those wonderful memories of the two of them when they were happy together, as well as the wrenching heartache he'd suffered when things turned sour, were back, and it hurt, both emotionally and physically. The old ingrained need to start running again in an effort to elude those feelings once again was kicking in. Escaping into the garden was a temporary solution, placating his need to run for at least a little while.

The gardens behind the mansion were vast, as expected with someone of Quatre's wealth. Duo had always loved his friends' home, not so much for its lavishness, but because of the space it provided. He and Heero made a habit of getting lost in the back gardens for hours without anyone being able to track them down. He was counting on getting lost now as he strolled towards the very back of the garden, leaving the sounds of the reception behind him.

At last he came to a stone bench, situated under a fragrant, rose-laden arch, and he sat down for a moment to contemplate the beauty that surrounded him and how different his life was from that of his best friend. Quatre was used to all this luxury, all the excess land and property that his family's money could buy without a dent in their seemingly endless bank accounts. How was it even possible they were such good friends? No wonder Jim had questioned their relationship. Duo thought of himself as the social and financial opposite of Quatre Winner. In comparison to their pasts, his was dark and filled with depravation while Quatre's childhood was filled with just the opposite. And today he was despondent and gloomy in contrast to Quatre's sunny happiness. He shook his head, trying to dismiss his dismal thoughts. He didn't want Quatre to sense his continued downturn of mood, apparently brought on by his and Trowa's enviable happiness and seeing Heero again.

"There you are," a calm and collected voice called out. "Mind if I join you?" Duo's head shot up at the sound of the intruder and a feeling of dread filled him, sensing that a conversation he'd hoped to avoid was about to begin.

TBC

Author: Whew, that was a long chapter. Thanks again for your comments and support, you guys are great!


	10. Chapter 10

**When One Door Closes  
Dyna Dee  
Part 10**

"There you are. Mind if I join you?" Duo's head shot up at the sound of the intruder's voice and a feeling of dread filled him, sensing that a conversation he'd hoped to avoid was about to begin.

His surprise at Wufei's sudden appearance must have registered on his face because a satisfied smirk formed on the Chinese man's lips. "Aren't you missing a great party?" Duo asked as he shifted on the bench to make room for the other man as he stepped forward.

"I could ask the same of you," Wufei countered as he turned slightly to ist down, his eyes never leaving the American's face.

Exhaling with a long sigh, the braided man leaned back, his hands gripping the edge of the bench behind him. "Guess I'm not in the mood."

"You always used to be in the mood for a good party, as long as there was a lot of food, drink and at least three people. Quatre has plenty of everything today, so what's the problem?"

Turning his head to look at his questioning friend, Duo asked, "Did you become a shrink or something while I've been gone?"

Wufei's smirk made another appearance. "No, but I've learned quite a lot from observing the lives of others, and I know enough to sense that you are not happy. Why?"

Duo's eyes dropped down to stare vacantly at the stone walkway. "Too many memories here, I guess."

"Ah," Wufei uttered knowingly. After pausing for a moment he ventured to ask, "Good or bad memories?"

"Both."

"Have you spoken with Heero yet?"

The last thing Duo thought he needed was another friend trying to pave the way for some kind of therapeutic closure between himself and Heero. As far as he was concerned, they'd had their closure when they made love for the last time and parted ways. What more could be said or done after that fateful afternoon nearly two years ago?

In a weary-with-the-subject tone he replied, "I've already had this talk with Quatre. Could we please just move onto something else?"

He could feel the Chinese man's dark eyes studying him, but he refused to meet that gaze until the other man quietly answered, "If that's your wish, then certainly, I'll drop the subject."

The tension that had built up between them was suddenly gone. Duo shifted on the bench in order to get a good look his friend before asking, "So how's things going for you? Still working for Preventers?"

He wasn't surprised to find that the former Shenlong pilot was indeed still an agent for that organization, but he'd been promoted from field work to training officers and giving lectures to new recruits. Duo counted himself lucky that Wufei wasn't his instructor, knowing his friend was tough, had high expectations and was highly disciplined. He would demand and expect the very best from any trainee under his command as well as any seasoned officer he worked with.

Wufei continued their conversation by telling Duo several funny anecdotes from his training experiences, confirming his suspicions that any rookie who found themselves under his friend's command would find their training a steep, uphill battle. Though he knew first hand that his former comrade could be won over by an honest show of hard work and dedication. If nothing else, Wufei was a fair and honorable man and would give anyone a chance to prove themselves.

Just as Duo was getting into his friend's stories, the other man deftly turned the conversation back to him. "Tell me, Duo, what is your current occupation? Are you with some type of security force?"

Duo scratched his head and hedged his answer. "No. I'm doing some freelancing."

"Freelancing?" Wufei looked puzzled a moment before his expression turned to a look of suspicion. "You're not some type of mercenary, are you?"

"Hell no," he chuckled, thinking that particular line of work was so far from his job at the lodge it was laughable.

"Some form of police work?"

"Far from it."

The Chinese man tapped his foot with impatience. He'd always hated it when Duo turned one of his questions into a guessing game. "Would it kill you to give me a straight answer?" he asked with an exaggerated frown.

"Yeah, it probably would," the American replied with a chuckle, and then with a grin aimed at the other man he added, "It's good to know some things never change, isn't it, Wu? I can still drive you crazy with little to no effort on my part." He finally got a small response from the normally stoic man, in the form of a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth

"You're still a brat."

"And a top notched one at that," the braided man laughed, his eyes shining brightly with amusement.

"You're not going to tell me what your line of work is, are you?"

Duo gave an insouciant shrug of his shoulder. "Would you be disappointed if I told you I'm basically Mr. Fix-it at a mountain resort?"

There was a long pause while Wufei studied him thoughtfully, and Duo actually found himself squirming under that scrutinizing gaze while waiting for his friend to answer. "Does this form of employment make you happy? Are you fulfilled?"

"Fulfilled?" Duo looked at Wufei with disbelief. "Geeze, Wu, you know that sometimes a job is just a job. A lot of good people give up their days to a job that's not up to their potential just to bring home enough credits to pay the bills. But hey, my job isn't so bad, the people are nice enough. I can't really say what I do everyday is as worthwhile as my position in Preventers was. I can't even say it's fulfilling, but little in my life has been, so why break with tradition?"

A troubled look crossed the other man's face and Duo realized his flippant remark bothered his friend. When Wufei began again, he looked oddly unsure of himself as the subject matter changed once more, taking Duo by surprise. "I feel the need to apologize, Duo, for my part in yours and Heero's breakup. In hindsight, I can see that decision has led the both of you to further unhappiness."

Looking painfully remorseful, Wufei made a confession. "I was the one who encouraged Heero to move out of your shared apartment as soon as we returned to Earth from L4, believing at the time that swift action would help the situation rather than prolonging your obvious discord and unhappiness. If I erred in my judgment of the situation, I would humbly ask for your forgiveness."

"Keep your apology, Wufei," Duo snapped irritably. "Right or wrong, a lot of time has passed and I'm over it. Besides, what happened back then just doesn't matter any more."

"I beg to differ," the other man countered, remaining serious. "Being back here, even for a short visit, has made you unhappy once again. Based on that observation, as well as your continued avoidance of Heero, I can only conclude that you have not yet put your relationship with him behind you, despite your insistence that you have."

"Well, you're certainly entitled to your opinion." Duo stood abruptly from the bench, wanting this particular conversation to be over. Yet before he could step away he was stopped in his tracks when his wrist was suddenly caught in a tight, unyielding grip.

"Duo, please listen to me," Wufei spoke earnestly as his hold on Duo's wrist tightened. Without waiting for a response, the ebony haired man rushed to say what he felt his friend needed to hear. "Your absence has been difficult for all of us, especially Heero. He became... unhinged, for a lack of a better word, after learning you had no intention of coming back from what we were told was an impromptu vacation. At our urging, he remained in therapy, but he switched doctors. He became a patient of your former therapist, wanting to work with the woman, hoping, I suppose, to figure out what he had done wrong. He's changed, Duo. I think you would approve of those changes if you'd just give him a chance to show you."

Duo shook his head, obviously not buying what his friend was telling him. "From what I've seen so far, he hasn't changed at all. He's still uptight and angry and I can sense his disappointment in me. It's obvious I still don't measure up to his standards and, frankly, I just don't need that negative shit in my life anymore."

"No, Duo, you've got it all wrong," Wufei stated firmly, his expression troubled as he continued. "All right, Heero is wound a bit tight right now, but he hasn't seen you in almost two years and he can't seem to get you to sit and talk to him. I don't think he's angry with you as much as he is frustrated, and frankly, I don't blame him." Duo leveled his best glare on the man still holding him in place by the grip on his wrist.

"Please, sit down and hear me out," Wufei asked, his eyes pleading for Duo to agree.

"Alright. Let go of my wrist and I'll give you five minutes to get what ever is bothering you off your chest."

Wufei promptly freed his wrist and waited until the braided returned to his place on the stone bench. "Thank you." he said with the briefest smile. "For the moment, I'd like to briefly address the past. From Quatre, Trowa and my own perspective, your relationship with Heero was like watching two trains racing at breakneck speed towards each other on the same track, a horrible collision inevitable. You and Heero both share in the blame for the deterioration of your relationship, but let's address Heero's part for now.

"You've known him to be a man with very strong convictions and a clear sense of himself and of what he considers important. But his belief in himself and the his purpose in life were tested during his brief stint with Preventers and again as he ventured into the academic world. For some unexplainable reason, he allowed himself to be unduly influenced by his peers after he began studying at the university. After talking to Heero while he stayed at my place, I came to believe that he wanted so badly to fit in with his new friends at school, was desperate for the type of life he felt was "normal", that he allowed their thoughts and ideas to temporarily reshape his own opinions, including his image of the man he loved. The criticism of those so-called friends, ranging from your lack of education to the way you spoke or behaved, caused Heero to feel conflicted, and his feelings for you became even more complicated."

Leaning forward, his friend placed a comforting hand on his arm as he said with conviction, "He loved you, Duo. I know that because he told me so. But having you verbally picked apart by the group of people he admired pushed him to try and remedy the situation by attempting to improve you. Unfortunately, he chose to accomplish this change by the use of constructive criticism, which I know you didn't take very well. Thus the arguing began and continued until we, your friends, felt the need to say something. Obviously his unwise but well-intentioned plan backfired and the only thing he accomplished was hurting you, hurting the both of you."

Duo put his hands up, hoping to stop Wufei from going any further with his speech. He'd heard enough. "Why are you trying to defend him to me now, Wufei?" he demanded. "We're over, nearly two years over. Water under the bridge and all that. Making excuses for Heero's behavior back then isn't going to change things between us now."

"Why not?"

He blinked at the other man, wondering if Wufei was kidding or not. "Because it doesn't matter any more, that's why not."

"If he doesn't matter to you anymore, then why are you hiding from him? If things were truly over between the two of you, you'd tell him to go to hell and you'd be back here, living and working where you belong. Quatre, Trowa and I are your friends, Duo, and we miss you. Are you so angry with our part in your breakup that you're punishing us staying away, the same way you're punishing Heero and yourself."

"What the...? Duo sputtered, his eyes wide with disbelief. "I'm not punishing anyone."

"I beg to differ."

Duo grit his teeth before saying in a stern voice, "I didn't leave Sanq to punish anyone. I left because I couldn't watch Heero fall in love with someone else, which is exactly what he did, didn't he?"

"No, he didn't."

"What?" Duo asked, incredulous. "He was engaged, wasn't he?"

Wufei frowned. "It's a complicated story, one you should hear about from Heero, not me."

A peculiar gleam appeared within those dark eyes a scant moment before the Chinese man changed the subject again by asking, "Quatre didn't tell you about what happened after you disappeared, did he?"

"He tried, but I stopped him. I just didn't want to hear about Heero's moving on after I left." The frown on the other man's face caused Duo's curiosity to crack through his wall of pride, but instead of coming out and demanding to know what had happened, Duo forced himself to sit still and patiently wait the other man out. If Wufei felt he needed to know something, he'd tell him straight out and not pussyfoot around it, like Quatre would.

Wufei shifted his position on the stone bench while his gaze transferred from him to stare vacantly at the rose bush across the garden path. After a moment, he began again. "Heero came to my place after leaving your apartment that day, looking like he'd lost his best friend. Little did we know that he had. He wouldn't tell me about your parting, only that you..." He paused, and then in a low voice he added, "That you cried. He was shaken by that, saying that you never cried, and it worried him. I tried to console him, saying your separation was only temporary, that you would adjust just as he would, given a couple of days.

"When you didn't show up to work on Monday, I went to Trowa to inquire about your whereabouts. He reported that Quatre had spoken with you by phone and that you'd taken some time off to leave town with the intent of pulling yourself together. Knowing that running and hiding was a pattern for you, my worry for you eased somewhat. Later that night, I informed Heero of what Trowa had said and he asked when you were coming back. I'd forgotten to ask, so he called Quatre, who told him he didn't know, only that you'd taken all your vacation and sick time. Heero figured you could be gone as long as a month and was persuaded by the three of us not to worry, that you'd be back when you were ready.

"With some urging and reassurance from us that everything would be alright, Heero resumed his studies and continued visiting his therapist. Even though he was living with me at the time, we rarely saw each other because our busy schedules conflicted."

"I can only imagine what else he was busy doing," Duo interjected sourly. "Heero always seemed to find time for hanging out with his university chums instead of spending time with me." The feeling of resentment for being last on Heero's list of importance during their last year together welled up inside him again, which he figured was pretty pathetic after all the time that had passed.

Wufei glanced aside at him and frowned after detecting his acerbic mood. He rushed on to the next topic after Duo glanced down at his watch, reminding his time was limited. "As for the office, Trowa was given a temporary partner, Dale Huffsteder." Duo raised an eyebrow at that bit of information. Dale was a good man, but an average agent, not one he'd have chosen for Trowa the risk taker. "Neither of them were exactly pleased by the pairing, but since it was temporary they dealt with it, until a month passed and you didn't return. Trowa called me mid February to tell me Une had made Huffsteder his permanent partner, that she was under the impression you weren't coming back.

Looking skyward, Wufei continued, "I debated about how to break the news to Heero. As I said, I hadn't seen very much of him and he didn't appear in a rush to find a place of his own. I waited up for him that night, knowing he'd show up sooner or later. It was a Friday, and he came in very late and slightly inebriated. I sat him down with a cup of coffee and gave him the news that you weren't coming back."

With a turn his head, Wufei met the American's gaze, allowing Duo to observe his heartfelt feelings of sadness and regret as he continued. "Heero's expression that night reminded me of how his appearance when he arrived at my apartment the day you two separated. He was in hurt and sad, but this time he was also angry. He surprised me by flying into a rage, blaming me and the others for interfering in your lives. He insisted that if we'd kept our noses out of your business, you and he would still be together. I was quick to remind him that the two of you had been at each other's throats and, with the way things were going, one or both of you were eventually going to be hurt, and badly.

"Over the course of the next few days, his unhappiness became more pronounced. He went back to the apartment the two of you shared only to find it had been leased out to someone else and that your landlord didn't know where you'd gone.

"A week later, his anger erupted. He was furious with you, me, Quatre and Trowa. Again he blamed us for your leaving and Trowa tried to reason with him, as did we all, but he was so hurt and angry that he wouldn't listen to reason. He moved out of my place the next day, while I was at work, and it was weeks later that I learned he'd rented a room with one of his friends from school, a woman named Daphne DeFranco."

Duo's mouth fell open with disbelief after hearing the woman's name. He knew her, and after leaving Sanq two years ago, he'd made it a point to never waste a moment thinking about her. Until now. She had been one of Heero's so-called friends from school, and one of his foremost critics. He'd overheard her himself when he'd reluctantly attended one of their uppity parties at Heero's insistence. The memory of that night was not a good one. He remembered standing around in some stranger's house feeling completely out of place while listening to the pseudo-intellectuals flaunting their knowledge of the dictionary while discussing the merits of one professor over another, their views on politics as well as their idealistic solutions to current world problems. He certainly didn't gain any points with them after he'd openly dismissed their ideas as impractical and too farfetched to be considered as viable solutions.

The majority of the students present that night got sloppy drunk, sipping French wine from long-stem glasses while creating a cloud of smoke above the room from their constant puffing on long, thin and dark cigarettes. And that Daphne chick, a bonafide snob as far as he was concerned, and the worst of lot.

While she didn't exactly hang on Heero's arm or his every word, he had glimpsed a look of open admiration in her eyes whenever she looked at him. She had definitely been checking out his lover. She had been tall, waif thin and had straight, midnight-colored hair that fell to her shoulders. With pouty, red-tinted lips she had spoken with a slight French accent, which had somehow added to the air of superiority she'd projected. Most would have considered her attractive, those who weren't the object of her scorn.

When at last she lowered herself to speak with him, she'd asked, in an elevated voice that drew the attention of everyone in the room to her, about his occupation and what activities he enjoyed when he wasn't slaving away in a fascist government job. Her condescending tone reminded him of that Dorothy chick Relena used to hang out with. His response had been to laugh in her face. He then advised her to look up the word fascism again to see that it in no way applied to the government or Preventers. The evening pretty much went downhill from there. He survived a total of two torturous hours before he'd had enough and informed Heero he was ready to leave.

Then, while in the process of reclaiming their coats, he'd overheard Daphne's accented voice coming from the open door of another room. He had no idea who she was talking to but he couldn't resist leaning in a bit closer to catch what she was saying. To this day he could still clearly hear her saying, "Granted, he's gorgeous, and I can certainly see why Heero is attracted to him. All that hair, those eyes and a great ass are no doubt wonderful in the bedroom, but looks fade eventually and then what do you have? An uncouth, uneducated little man. Mark my words, our Heero will be bored to tears with him before long. He thrives on gaining knowledge and is drawn towards people of intellect, and I'm afraid pretty little Duo can't claim either of those qualities."

"My sentiments exactly," Wufei said loud enough to startle Duo out of his thoughts of the past and back to the present.

"What?" he asked, blinking with confusion. He was pretty sure he hadn't said anything about what he'd been thinking out loud.

"Your view of the DeFranco woman is clear by the expression on your face, and I am in complete agreement, though I've only met her once," Wufei answered with a slightly conspiring smile.

Looking at the other man's grin, Duo suddenly realized how much he had missed his friend. Having been made partners at Preventers once, when Trowa had been injured, had more or less forced the two of them to get to know each other better. Sure, they worked briefly as gundam pilots, but Wufei had been somewhat of a loner back then and had distanced himself from the other gundam pilots until the end of the war. Working together, they'd gotten to know each other quite well and Duo found he liked Wufei Chang despite his seeming to be stiff and formal. Surprisingly, at some point in time, the other man had come to like him as well.

He took a moment to digest what Wufei had said about Daphne, and then a horrible thought came to him. "Don't tell me she's the one Heero was engaged to." He didn't know whether to laugh or throw up after seeing his friend's expression, confirming his worst nightmare.

"Unfortunately, taking advantage of someone's moment of weakness to get what you want isn't a talent limited to gundam pilots nor to wars," Wufei said. "I'm convinced, however, that Heero's engagement to her was as much a surprise to him as it was to everyone else."

"What makes you think that?"

"The shell-shocked expression on his face when she announced the engagement to us at our annual Christmas gathering."

"I can't believe he was engaged to _her_," Duo said, his nose wrinkled with distaste. He was having a very hard time believing Heero had chosen that woman over him. "What happened?"

"Why'd they break up?"

He looked up at Wufei and nodded his head, his curiosity piqued.

"He didn't love her. In fact, he quickly came to the conclusion that he really didn't even like her. I spoke with him a week after he informed us the engagement was off and that he'd moved into an apartment of his own. He confessed to me that he'd moved in with her only because he'd been so very angry, having placed the blame on us for your leaving. He turned to his university friends for support during that difficult time and Daphne was ready and willing to jump in and fill the void in his life. He realized quickly that she was two-faced and manipulative. She was the one who announced their engagement, with Heero sitting by her side looking absolutely dumbfounded."

"Well I guess Heero got his just desserts," Duo mumbled, but he was honestly surprised to find he really didn't feel that way. "Even with all that happened between us, I never wanted him to be unhappy."

Wufei nodded. "Though Heero has never one to display his emotions for all to see, it's been clear to those of us who know him best that he's been miserable without you. You really need to talk to him, Duo. Hear him out. Then maybe the both of you will get the closure you need in order to heal your hearts and move forward."

The braided man scowled at his friend. "Hey, I've already moved on and it looks like Heero is doing alright."

"Again, your hiding out here in the garden and refusing to speak with him is evidence that you haven't moved on."

Duo didn't know how to reply to that. He _was_ avoiding Heero, though he wouldn't admit that to his Chinese friend, nor the fact that he wasn't over his former lover, and probably never would be. In was painful seeing Heero again and not being able to touch him, to hold him close like he craved to do.

It had been a mistake to come back.

He hadn't wanted to admit it, but after seeing Heero again he was beginning to want things that were beyond his reach. The more he thought about Heero, the more he physically and emotionally ached because of the irreparable breach between them. He longed for the kind of love that Trowa and Quatre had, and he missed his friends and wanted some semblance of the life he'd had before the proverbial shit had hit the fan.

A grim, fleeting thought crossed his mind that he might spend the remainder of his life wanting the things he couldn't have.

Again Wufei brought him out of his thoughts by saying, "Your friend seems nice and his artistic talent is noteworthy."

"Ah... yeah, Jim's a nice guy."

"Is he your lover?"

Duo looked up at his friend and saw no sign of judgment in his friend's dark eyes. "No."

"But you were lovers at some point, weren't you?"

"Why would you say that?"

"The painting. The way he depicted you. I don't think someone could create a piece of art like that unless there was some emotional connection between the two of you. I have also observed him looking at you with undisguised longing."

"The portrait came from a picture he took of me at a lake," Duo quickly explained. "We went water skiing with some friends of mine. We tried getting together as more than just friends, but quickly found out we aren't compatible."

One finely arched black eyebrow rose with curiosity. "To all appearances he seems amiable, attractive and the two of you appear to get along very well."

"We do, but there are other aspects of a relationship that don't always mesh. Watching Heero and I should have taught you that." Damn, that touch of bitterness was back in his voice again.

"What wasn't compatible?" Wufei hedged with a puzzled expression on his face. At this point Duo wished to be any where other than in the garden with Wufei and his probing questions. Yet recalling that Wufei, in the role of a concerned friend, would push until he got whatever information he was seeking out of him, he decided cut to the chase and be truthful, knowing that the Chinese man to be a bit of a prude and the topic would be uncomfortable for him, thus shutting him up. "In bed, Wufei. We weren't sexually compatible." He glanced up from the ground to see the other man's reaction. Wufei looked like he'd swallowed his tongue.

"But... you're both homosexual, right?"

Duo's eyes widened with disbelief. "Damn, what rock have you been living under, Wu? Really, you need to start dating, my friend, then you would know for yourself that it takes more than being gay and attracted to someone to make a relationship work. Again, Heero and I stand as an example."

Looking back down at his feet and the smooth round stone he'd been shuffling back and forth he added, "It's rather ironic, don't you think? Heero and I were perfect in bed together but not so good out of it; and it was just the opposite with Jim." Seeing that Wufei was blushing with embarrassment and at a loss for words, Duo decided to give his friend a break, even though he felt like mercilessly teasing the other man for being so dense. "Besides, I'm beginning to think that having friends is preferable to having a lover. It lessens the potential for getting hurt again."

At the touch of Wufei's hand on his arm, Duo looked up. There was in his expression an earnestness Duo had rarely been witness to. "I consider myself your friend, Duo, and I hope you believe me when I say I never intended to cause you so much pain by encouraging Heero to move out. I just couldn't watch the two of you hurt each other any longer. As time went on and the arguments continued, you seemed less and less like the Duo Maxwell I'd known and more like a desperate and angry stranger. Please believe that I just wanted the fighting to stop so that the two of you could get the proper counseling you obviously needed."

"It wasn't really your fault, Wufei, but I appreciate you acknowledging your part in our breakup."

Laughter coming not too far away seemed to punctuate the end of their conversation. Wufei seemed to sense the end also for he stood up and brushed off his suit pants. "You should come into the office tomorrow. I'm sure everyone would like to see you."

"I don't know," Duo hedged. "I don't have any definite plans, but I'll need to consult Jim. It's his first trip here and I promised to show him around."

Duo could see the wheels churning in Wufei's logical mind. Even if the other man guessed what he was about to do, he didn't make any effort try to change his mind other than to say, "Just promise me that you'll speak with Heero, and if you leave before we have a chance to meet again, please stay in touch."

"I'll email you," Duo answered. The other man frowned at him but didn't call him on sidestepping his first request.

The American rose to his feet also, even though he didn't feel ready to return to the party just yet. He was startled to suddenly find himself being embraced by the Chinese man. In fact, he was so surprised that it took him a moment to wrap his own arms around the other man and return the hug. When Wufei stepped back, he offered a warm smile. "It was good to see you again, Duo. I'm glad we had this time to talk."

"Yeah, me too. Take care of yourself, all right?"

Wufei gave a nod, then without another word he turned and left Duo standing alone in the garden. The braided man waited until his former comrade disappeared down the path before sinking back down on the stone bench and wrapping his arms tightly around his waist. The ache of loss inside of him was nearly overwhelming and if he was going to hold himself together and save face, he had to get out of there as soon as possible. With his emotions so close to the surface, talking to Heero was definitely out of the question. Before coming here, he had honestly thought that time as well as distance had helped him cope with having lost Heero, but it obviously hadn't. He wasn't ready to deal with Heero, maybe he never would be. The only way he could maintain his dignity and to avoid any further pain was to hightail it out of there without seeing Heero again, closure be damned. Heero had his closure that last afternoon they'd engaged in goodbye sex. For himself, he didn't think he'd ever want to hear from Heero's lips that he didn't love him any longer. It might be the truth, but it wasn't real until Heero told him himself.

"Time to go," he mumbled to himself with as much conviction as he could muster. Getting to his feet once more, he began the trek back to the house, no longer aware of the beautiful surrounding garden he walked through as he mentally began to plan his escape from Sanq, again.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

When One Door Closes  
Dyna Dee

Chapter 11

Duo managed to make it back into the house and through the crowd of guests without being stopped or catching sight of Heero. He moved as inconspicuously as possible up the stairs and to his room, which was empty. Jim, apparently, was still downstairs at the party. Hurrying, he began the process of re-packing his bags when a solid knock sounded on the door, causing him to jump at the suddenness of the sound. He paused, waiting to see if the person on the other side of the door would announced themself.

"Duo?"

Damn, it was Heero. He remained motionless, holding his breath and hoping his former lover would move on. Several long, drawn-out moments passed before the door knob turned. He noiselessly dropped down behind the bed, hoping Heero would simply take a peek in the room, see that he wasn't there, and move on.

Hidden from view, or so he hoped, he listened as it opened and sounds of the party downstairs flowed into the room. The door shut again with a click and he nervously waited until he heard Jim say, "What the hell?"

Popping his head up from his lame hiding place, Duo watched his friend jump back, wide-eyed and startled. "Shit, Duo. What are you doing hiding behind the bed?"

"I thought you were Heero," he explained as he rose to his feet, feeling ridiculous.

"And hiding behind the bed is how you choose to avoid him?"

"It was a spur of the moment decision."

Jim broke out in a laugh. "I'd have thought a former gundam pilot could have come up with something better than that?"

"Well, it was the best I could come up with in a two second time span," he replied defensively. And then it hit him. "Hey, who told you I was a gundam pilot?"

Jim's blue eyes narrowed as he gave the shorter man a look of disappointment. "Did you honestly believe I wouldn't learn the truth about your past, especially in this company?" he answered, one hand gesturing towards the bedroom door. "I have to admit I was shocked after learning my friend, currently employed at a Park City resort as the fix-it man, had been the pilot of the deadly gundam known as Deathscythe." The man shook his head in disbelief as he added, "I still find it hard to accept, especially after learning that Quatre Winner and his new husband were also gundam pilots. From your association with them, I'm guessing that Heero and Wufei were also gundam pilots?"

With a reluctant nod of his head, Duo asked, "Can you now understand my need for secrecy?"

Jim nodded that he did understand. Then looking towards the bed he asked, "So what's with the suitcase? Are we going somewhere?"

"Ah... yeah, if you don't mind. Just a slight change in our plans. I thought I'd show you around Sanq."

"Running away from something again, or rather _someone_?"

Though Duo expected Jim to be disappointed with his running yet again, he was surprised to see a look of concern on the other man's face. He recalled Dwight, the truck driver he'd met in a truck stop so long ago, saying something similar to him. He had been running then, and had every intention of running now. Would he ever grow up and face the hardships in his life, or keep living like the street brat he'd once been, who ran and hid from the ugliness of his childhood? His shrink in Utah firmly believed his dreary past was the reason he habitually removed himself physically from potentially painful situations. Running was a defense mechanism he'd developed from necessity, in order to survive on the streets of L2, and he'd honed that escape tool to perfection over the years, much to his own determent. And even though he had been told all of this by his shrink, and knew that running away wasn't the most logical answer to his problems, he hadn't been able to find any other effective way to deal with his fears.

"I'm just not ready to face him," he muttered softly, justifying his leaving as he returned to his packing.

"I think you're making a big mistake."

"Maybe so, but it's what I've gotta do."

He was more than a little relieved when Jim dropped the subject altogether and pulled his own suitcase out of the closet and began to pack his belongings. "I know where there's a bed and breakfast place in the next town," Duo said in his most upbeat tone of voice. "We can rent a room somewhere outside the capitol and do some sightseeing until our flight leaves in three days." It was an olive branch that Duo was extending, though a very small one. He really didn't want to ruin Jim's first trip to Sanq, and felt badly about having to change their travel plans so abruptly.

"Sounds good," Jim replied in a flat voice, avoiding looking at Duo while carefully placing several pairs of pants into his largest suitcase. Duo realized the artist was upset with him and promised himself to make it up to the other man, after they got out of there.

Having finished his packing, Duo left Jim to finish up and removed himself from the room. After which he move towards the nearest phone, conveniently located at the far end of the hall. The voices of the happy celebrants below floated up the grand staircase as he called information, asking for a taxi service.

Several ladies were standing at the top of the stairs, carrying on a private conversation. From their blond hair and the elegant mode of their dresses, Duo gathered that they were some of Quatre's relatives. The group had glanced his way as he'd neared them, but once their curiosity had been sated, they promptly returned to their conversation when it became clear he was heading for the phone table.

He turned his back to them and kept his voice low as he dialed the number he'd been given and ordered up a taxi, all the while keeping an eye out for Heero. It was risky, trying to leave the house during the reception. It seemed almost impossible that he and Jim would make it out of there without Heero or Wufei catching them in the act of leaving.

Having completed his call, Duo quickly returned back to the bedroom, but before he could open the door, a female voice called out, coming from below the staircase. "They're about to leave, Farrah, get the rose petals." The three women promptly disappeared down the stairs in a rustle of satin and taffeta, leaving behind the lingering scent of expensive perfume. Duo recognized the moment as an opportunity to leave without being noticed. When the newly married couple made their public exit, he and Jim could slip away unnoticed, by way of the back door entrance. After that, they could make their way to the street to await the taxi. He re-entered the bedroom smiling, pleased with his plan, which he promptly explained to Jim and told him what he wanted him to do.

"You have got to be kidding me?" the blond asked with a look that was somewhere between being surprised and exasperated.

"Just open the window and wait for my signal."

Jim looked at him with disbelief. "This is ridiculous, Duo. There's no reason why we can't walk out of here with some dignity, like adults."

"Dignity is overrated, my man. Just do as I ask, alright?"

Jim rolled his eyes. "I feel like a ten year old running away from home."

Duo shrugged and gave the man a wicked grin. "Then just consider me the fountain of youth. I pull this kind of shit all the time."

"You need to grow up, Duo. Face up to your responsibilities like an adult and accept the consequences of your own actions," Jim said, frowning in disapproval.

"Your age is showing, Dad," he replied sarcastically. "I'll be sure to buy you a rocking chair for your next birthday." Sobering he continued. "Listen, Jim, we only have a small window of time here. Just work with me and keep an eye out of the window for my signal, will ya?"

Duo ended their little tit-for-tat conversation by promptly walking out the bedroom door, before Jim could protest their means of leaving. His traveling companion was seriously beginning to wear on his nerves, and he certainly didn't want to waste time listening to Jim's criticism, not when he needed to move fast in order to escape Heero's sharp eyes.

The downstairs foyer was packed with guests trying to get outside through the front door. While the crowd's attention was diverted, Duo moved swiftly down the staircase and skirted the wall as he made his way towards the back of the house. He'd successfully covered half the distance when a hand firmly grabbed hold of his arm, bringing him to an abrupt halt.

"Going somewhere?" Heero asked, one eyebrow raised questioningly. "I think the party is in the other direction."

Flustered, Duo came up with the best excuse he could think of on the spur of the moment. "Thought I'd sneak back to the kitchen and grab some of that raspberry dessert everyone was talking about. Didn't get a chance to earlier, and there's no better time than now, when everyone else is going in the opposite direction."

Heero looked skeptical, which happened to be a pretty damn sexy look on the man, if anyone asked Duo's opinion. He was spared the other man's response when Quatre and Trowa stepped out of a door just down the hall from where they stood. The couple came down the hall hand and hand, trailed by Wufei, Relena and a number of other well-wishers, all of them heading towards the front door.

"Let's go see them off, shall we?" Heero tightened his grip on the captured arm and began to pull Duo along with him as he headed towards the retreating couple.

"Heero, stop!" Duo pleaded, digging in his heels while pulling his arm out of the other man's firm grasp. Heero turned to look at him, clearly puzzled by his actions. "Look," Duo began again, nervously combing fingers through the hair hanging over his forehead, "I don't want to see them off, alright? Besides, I already said goodbye."

"Why?" Heero's dark blue eyes searched his face for understanding.

"Because it hurts," Duo answered honestly. "I'm sincerely happy for them, but it just hurts, ya know?"

It took a moment before the handsome face in front of him registered Heero's understanding of what he meant. "Oh," the other man said softly, then nodded. "If you don't want to see them off, maybe we could find a room and talk."

That was the last thing Duo wanted, to be alone in a room with Heero. Even now his hands itched to reach out and touch the other man's face, to grab him by the back of his neck and pull him into a passionate kiss. No, he couldn't risk being with Heero behind a closed door. "No, not now. Jim is waiting for me." Which was the truth.

"When can we talk?"

Shoving his hands into the pockets of his pant, Duo muttered, "I don't know."

"I could come back tonight."

"No. Not here. Somewhere neutral."

Despite looking cool and calm, the twitch of Heero's left eyebrow told Duo his former lover was becoming annoyed, but whether it was with him or the situation, he couldn't tell. Then Heero said, "Fine. Tomorrow, ten a.m. at the coffee shop on the corner of Brighton and Javore." Duo remembered the place well. It wasn't far from Quatre and Trowa's place, and they used to meet up there once in a while when they had the same day off. The braided head nodded in agreement. "And leave the painter behind," Heero admonished.

After pausing, Heero hesitantly reached out and took hold of Duo's braid, which was hanging over his right shoulder. He gently let it slide through his loose grip until he'd gone down the entire length, feeling every bump of the braid. "I'm glad you didn't cut it," he said in a soft, subdued voice. Then without another word he turned and moved down the hall where a loud chorus of cheers went up, as the wedding guests prepared to send the happy couple off on their honeymoon.

The next breath Duo took was relieved but shaky. The slight touch of Heero's hand on his hair had set his heart racing and breaking at the same time. He turned on his heel and moved quickly in the opposite direction, passing through the chaos in the kitchen to the back door, leading to the patio. Once outside, he moved to stand beneath the open window of his assigned room, where he hissed Jim's name, hoping not to draw any undue attention. The man's blond head popped out the window just far enough that Duo could see his frown and the disbelieving shake of his head. He disappeared for only a moment before Duo's suitcase was pitched out of the second-storey window. He let the full, green shrub, set against the side of the house, catch the falling case. It bounced to the cement, where Duo quickly retrieved it, barely missing being hit by his falling duffle bag. He looked up in time to see Jim leaning over the windowsill, preparing to gingerly drop his own suitcase.

Once he had all of their luggage at his feet, Duo looked upwards and motioned Jim to come down.

"I'm not jumping," the blond stated firmly.

"Chicken," Duo murmured under his breath, but in a louder voice he said, "Of course not. Come down the stairs and walk as casually as you can to the back of the house. And whatever you do, try to avoid Heero." Despite the distance between them, he could clearly hear Jim's dramatic sigh.

"Drama Queen," he muttered while keeping an eye out for Heero or Wufei.

No more than two minutes later, Jim stepped out of the back kitchen door and spotted Duo to his left. As he approached the braided man, having repositioned himself to hid behind some bulky patio furniture, the luggage behind him, he stated, "I feel like a juvenile delinquent."

"You're looking at the poster child for that title," Duo said, striking a pose not so different from the one in the painting. With a wink he added, "One day I'll have to fill you in on what my teenage years were like. Juvenile delinquent doesn't even begin to cover what I was." Amused by the thought of Jim's reaction to his teenage misadventures, the braided man realized he was probably irritating Jim further by chuckling darkly to himself all the way around the mansion, but the artist followed him, regardless. They paused behind the front corner of the house, peering at the waning crowd out front, and waiting until everyone re-entered the house after the departure of the happy couple. Once the coast was clear, the two men ran with their luggage towards the street as if an army of Leos were hot on their heels. Duo managed to flag down the taxi before it turned into the driveway to the mansion, and off they went, to the nearest car rental agency.

As he drove them out of the city towards the nearest hamlet, a mere six kilometers, Duo was able to push aside most of the tension he'd been feeling all afternoon. They drove around the village for a little while, debating on a place to saty, then stopped at a quaint inn. The prices, he quickly learned, were anything but quaint. Maybe if he'd known how expensive a couple of nights at an inn was going to be, he might have reconsidered leaving Quatre and Trowa's place. He cringed inwardly after checking in. Having shown up without reservations, the room selection was limited, and there was no choice than for he and Jim to double up and share a bed, which was something Duo was not looking forward to.

They dropped their suitcases off in the room and spent the rest of the afternoon walking around the village and visiting the shops. When they felt hungry, they ordered a light dinner from a posh bistro where the prices had been inconveniently left off the printed menu. Duo's heart almost stopped when the exorbitant bill was set on the table. He was definitely going to have a lean wallet by the time he got back to Park City.

With his wallet much lighter than when they'd entered the small village, the two men returned to their rented room and watched a little bit of television before getting ready for bed.

Duo won the toss to be the first to use the bathroom. After getting ready for bed, he exited the room dressed in lightweight sweat pants and a T-shirt. Jim then took his turn and returned five minutes later wearing only his bikini bun huggers. Duo rolled his eyes, wondering if the other man thought strutting towards the bed in that lame excuse for underwear was going to turn him on. His question was answered the moment he turned out the bedside lamp and settled onto his pillow, preparing for sleep. Almost instantly, Jim pressed his long and lean body against his own and commenced nibbling on his ear.

"Not gonna happen, man."

"Come on, Duo. It'll be good."

"We've been over this, Jim. We're better friends than we'll ever be lovers. Just let it go and get some sleep."

With a huff, Jim pushed away from the braided man and rolled over to rest on his back. After an annoyed huff he asked, "Did you at least talk to him?"

Duo knew he was referring to Heero. "He wants me to meet him at a coffee shop near Quatre and Trowa's place tomorrow at ten."

"Are you going?"

A long pause followed that question. When he finally answered, Duo's voice was uncertain. "I don't know."

Jim gave one last exasperated huff then turned again, facing away from Duo this time, and pulled the blankets up over his shoulders. It wasn't very hard to tell that Jim was mad at him, but this time Duo knew there was nothing he could do about it other than to close his eyes and will himself to sleep, hoping Jim's anger would blow over by morning. Of course, sleep was slow in coming, and it wasn't until he decided to drive back to the city in the morning and meet with Heero that Duo was finally able to rest.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

**When One Door Closes  
Dyna Dee  
Part 12**

Ten o'clock Sunday morning found the braided man sitting in his rental car, half a block down from the coffee shop where he was supposed to meet Heero. He was grateful the car's windows were tinted, blocking anyone passing by, including his former lover, from seeing him sitting there, watching. He pulled his billed cap down a bit further, covering the upper half of his head, just in case. Slumped down in the driver's seat, Duo kept a sharp eye out, and in the rear view mirror he caught sight of the arrival of an eye-catching red motorcycle. After pulling into a vacant parking spot, the motorcycle rider, definitely male and dressed in jeans and a black leather jacket, took off his black helmet. He wasn't the least bit surprised to see that Heero was the owner of the motorbike. Out of the five of them, Quatre was the only one who didn't find pleasure from flying down a highway on two wheels at breakneck speed, weaving in and out of traffic and cutting the curves so close that you were inches from the pavement. What a rush!

He sank a little lower in his seat as Heero approached from behind and passed by his car. It seemed his precaution to remain unnoticed wasn't necessary considering the other man's eyes were fixed on the coffee shop where they were scheduled to meet. Duo continued to covertly watch the man who still, after all that had passed between them, set his heart racing as he strolled down the sidewalk and approached the shop. The familiar mop of messy hair tilted forward as Heero peered into the large front window. After not seeing who he was looking for inside, he turned to scan the street in both directions.

Duo had driven to the agreed meeting spot that morning with every intention of speaking with Heero, having spent most of the night trying to convince himself that clearing the air between them would get everyone off his back. But looking at Heero now, so handsome, strong and appealing to him in every way, he felt his resolve slipping away. The very sight of his former lover brought back all the longing he'd tried so hard to run away from. Heero was someone he would probably have been attracted to even if they'd never met before, had never shared war-time experiences with or a bed. There was just something about the other man that drew him in, an undeniable attraction that went far beyond mere lust. Besides the strong physical attraction they'd once shared, the man currently looking up and down the street, anticipating his arrival, knew him better than anyone else. The plain and honest truth was that Heero owned a part of his heart that would always belong only to him.

A sudden and familiar ache bloomed within his chest with the realization that he would always feel this desperate longing for Heero, that he would always want and need him. And there it was, plain as day came the revelation that he still loved his former lover and always would. "Oh God," he moaned and hung his head, feeling miserable. "What the hell am I doing here?"

Closure. That's what Heero and everyone else wanted them to have. Well maybe he didn't want closure. Did anyone ever ask him about whether or not he wanted fuckin' closure? Once he and Heero said their piece and bid each other a final goodbye, what was left of them then? Nothing. Absolutely, positively nothing! It would be the end of all hope for them. The hope he didn't even realize he still harbored until that moment.

And what the hell was he hoping for?

Unable to pinpoint the answer, he simply knew that he still loved Heero and wished to God the other man had some feelings left for him other than anger. Perhaps he was holding onto the hope that they might end up together, some how, some day, even though it now seemed impossible. Could he bear to lose that precious, thin thread of hope in exchange for learning that Heero really didn't want anything more from him other than an explanation for why he'd run?

Leaning forward until his head came to rest against the steering wheel, he wondered why it was so hard to let his former lover go. Perhaps hearing from Heero's own lips that there was nothing left to salvage of their relationship would be for the best, but he just wasn't ready to hear the final goodbye, not yet at least, and maybe not ever.

He remained slouched in his rental car, watching Heero as he waited for nearly an hour for him, entering the café momentarily only to return a few minutes later with a cup of coffee in hand. Twenty minutes after his arrival, Heero pulled out his cell phone and made a call, probably to Quatre's place. Even from half a block away Duo could see the other man's frown as he closed his phone and put it back into the pocket inside his jacket.

His rising sense of guilt grew as he watched Heero's shoulders slump. Then combing his fingers through his messy brown hair, he could tell the moment Heero finally gave up. Plunging his hands into his pockets of his jacket, the Japanese man walked dispiritedly back to his motorcycle, put on his helmet and, after starting the engine, drove off. Duo watched him disappear from sight and in a shaky voice he whispered, "Bye, Heero." It took him a couple more moments to compose himself enough to turn the key in the ignition and start the drive back to the hotel where Jim was waiting for him to return.

With a heavy heart and eyes stinging with unshed tears, he drove away, believing he had just had his last look at the man he loved.

Four very glum and tiring days later found Duo back in Park City. His trip to Sanq now felt like a long, disjointed and surreal dream, except that he was depressed as hell, evidence that it had been all too real. It hadn't been all bad, he grudgingly admitted. Seeing Quatre, Trowa and even Wufei had been wonderful; he really couldn't have wished for a better reunion with them. Yet when he returned to his small apartment, his heart was aching more than ever despite the good reunion.

He spent a good part of the first day home going through the motions of moving on with his life: grocery shopping, doing laundry and getting ready for work the next day. He could only hope the ache and loneliness that was dragging him down would eventually fade away into a more livable feeling of numbness.

Duo felt some measure of relief in returning to work at the inn the next morning, needing something to keep his hands and mind occupied. He began by painting all the planters at the lodge, made repairs where needed, did a little plumbing on a leaky toilet and sink in the public restrooms, visited the local nursery and returned to the resort prepared to plant a truckload of late season perennials, intended to brighten up the fall landscape. All in all, the eight hours he put in had been productive, but as the day came to a close his despondency returned.

It was almost dark by the time he returned home, carrying a take-out bag in one hand that contained a French dip sandwich and cherry turnover, and a tall cup of soda in the other. He sighed wearily as he turned the key in the lock of his front door, dreading the quiet evening ahead of him, having resigned himself to being alone tonight. Calling Jim was out of the question because the other man was still upset with him about not talking to Heero when he told him he would. Quatre was still on vacation with Trowa and he definitely wasn't up to calling Wufei and having yet another heart to heart with him, especially after he'd ignored his advice in regards to Heero. He felt rotten enough as it was about standing Heero up, but he wouldn't let himself regret it.

He entered his dark apartment and couldn't help but feel the weight of silence it held. With the kick of his foot, he shut the door behind him then hit the light switch with his elbow, immediately brightening the living room and helping to dispel at least some of the gloom he'd been feeling. Picking up the remote, the T.V. went on, and the noise that accompanied the irritating game show filled the air. Duo set the bag of food down on the table and began to empty out the contents while kicking off his shoes.

Switching the channel to the evening news, he settled down on the comfortable sofa and was just about to take a bite of his warm sandwich when a knock sounded on the front door. With a heavy sigh he set his sandwich down and wondered if one of his neighbors was dropping by, hopefully bringing him some leftover dessert. His apartment complex was filled with do-gooders, especially the more elderly residents. If he happened to say a friendly hello to them in passing or lent a steady arm as they climbed up or down the stairs, they instantly considered him someone worth caring about. He hoped to be as thoughtful when he got old instead of some crotchety old man he could, at the moment, easily envision himself becoming.

Swinging the door open without checking the peep hole, he was fully prepared to be faced with a short, white-haired person with a wrinkled face and a plate full of goodies. Instead, he was shocked to find his former lover standing in the hallway, dressed in blue jeans topped by a white oxford shirt beneath a blue blazer and wearing an expression Duo used to refer to as "mission mode."

He was gawking at the man standing on the other side of his doorway; he knew he was and yet there didn't seem to be anything he could do about it in his stunned state. His jaw hung slack from shock while his mind was caught up in a whirlwind of thought as he frantically tried to figure out why Heero was there. He didn't get the chance to formulate a coherent response before Heero rudely brushed past him, entering his apartment uninvited. That unexpected action helped Duo shake free of his inability to act.

"What the hell?" he asked, spinning around to face Heero, now standing in his living room. Heero ignored him for a moment while taking his time to survey the apartment. He then began to remove his blazer and unbuttoned the cuffs of his sleeves. "What do you think you're doing, Heero?" Duo demanded, his heart racing. "How did you find me?"

"It was a little hard to miss the Ski Utah T-shirt you wore at Quatre's house and Jim was very forthcoming about where he works and lives. Once I pinpointed Park City it really wasn't difficult to find 'the good looking guy with the long, brown braid.' I told you we needed to talk, Duo, " the other man said, leveling his deep blue eyes on the man before him. "And frankly, your running and hiding habit is wearing old with everyone and isn't going to get you out of talking to me this time."

Duo's face began to heat up right along with his anger. "We don't have anything else to say to each other, so save yourself any more effort and get the hell out of here."

With a feral gleam in his eyes, Heero advanced on him, forcing Duo to make the choice of either standing his ground or backing away in defense. "I've got plenty to say and you are going to listen, even if I have to tie you up and sit on top of you."

Duo snarled, "You could try, but I guarantee you'll not be in one piece if you do."

Exercising a bit more caution, Heero slowed his step as he came to stand directly in front of the braided man. He was close enough that Duo could clearly see the black irises centered in his deep blue eyes. The two of them were only inches apart now, and Heero's intense focus was centered on his face. He could only hope that Heero couldn't tell he was having a hard time catching his breath because his heart was beating so rapidly.

"Duo..."

"I want you to leave," the braided man said, abruptly cutting into whatever Heero was about to say and now hoping the other man hadn't noticed the slight quiver in his voice. He was expecting his former lover to either begin a round of heated arguing or leave, as he had asked. Whatever else he expected, Duo wasn't prepared for Heero to lunge forward and grab hold of him. Before he could react Heero's mouth was pressing against his own, kissing him soundly.

Duo's first instinct was to shove the accosting man away, and he did manage to grab hold of the front of Heero's shirt, intending to do just that. But somewhere between his intentions and the rest of his body, something short circuited, and damn if he wasn't kissing Heero back. Lips and tongues began a more successful form of communication than any words could presently manage. There was little fineness about the way they kissed, but it was a steamy, wet and desperate joining that became more and more urgent the longer it continued.

Duo was suddenly a corporeal mass of need, only minimally aware that he was clawing at the fabric beneath his hands. His mouth separated from Heero's for a brief moment as shirts were pulled over their heads, but the instant they were freed of the cotton barriers their lips sought out each other again, like two magnets inextricably drawn together. Duo lost all sense of himself, of his surroundings and whatever intentions he had before he'd become engaged in this delightful war with the lips that seemed hellbent on dominating his own.

Gasping for air, Duo threw back his head as those pleasuring lips moved to his throat. "Heero..." he moaned. "I... I want..." He paused for a scant moment to contemplate what it was that he wanted. Was he going to tell Heero to go to hell, that he should leave his apartment and never come back? Or was he going to ask Heero to keep on kissing him, to never stop kissing him, or beg him to stay and never again leave?

"I want..." he began again only to falter a second time. He was spared trying again to articulate what he was feeling when Heero stopped for a moment and pulled back, and with eyes that reflected the same undefined need he whispered, "I know, Duo. I want it too." And then Heero's mouth claimed him once more and Duo was lost in a haze of growing desire.

Happily drowning in the wonderful sensations, Duo was only dimly aware of a shifting in position and the feeling of roughness against his bare back. He vaguely acknowledged that it was the Berber carpet he was lying on, which had always been rather scratchy on his feet. He dismissed the fleeting annoyance as his mouth eagerly re-engaged in the delicious duel with Heero's mouth.

Suddenly, he was free again and in his ears was an answering echo of harsh breathing while hot, wet lips once again began to trail down his jaw, pausing at the pulsating vein in his neck. It seemed only natural to tilt his chin up and to the side, allowing better access and welcoming the pleasant sensation of kisses on his neck to continue while a moan of pleasure escaped his bruised lips. The kisses moved downward still, burning a trail over clavicle and chest, stopping to tease his left nipple before continuing down once more. He felt a tug at the waistband of his pants just as the blessedly wonderful lips left his skin completely, leaving him reeling, both mind and body.

The almost mindless pleasure that had overtaken him began to fade away, allowing a feeling of hesitancy to seep in. _What the hell am I doing?_ With a desperate need to recapture those wonderful feelings that had carried him away only moments before, Duo reached down and threaded his fingers through a thatch of thick and coarse hair and pulled, dragging that perfect, pleasuring mouth back to where it belonged. He was quickly swept up into the consuming pleasure as a hot, skillful tongue entered his mouth once more and happily tangled with his own. They were two well-matched opponents, he thought, as he continued his own attempt to command and conquer.

He was putty in the other man's hands as another shift occurred and the body pressed against his own pulled back slightly as hands much steadier than his own removed the remaining fabric separating them. Duo didn't resist the nudge to roll onto his side moments before those hands, equally as talented as Heero's lips and tongue, began stroking his bare back, caressing the fleshy globes of his bottom and bare thighs. His own hands, moving without forethought, mimicked their counterpart's movements, mapping or perhaps claiming the heated flesh they caressed.

Duo felt his upper leg being drawn over the top of a bare thigh, pressing the two fevered bodies even closer. He worked his arm under the head still attached firmly to his mouth, closing the minute distance between them even more. Then a hard, heated length pressed against his own pulsing need, and a jolt of desire surged through his body, commencing in his groin and pulsing upwards. A hand, smooth and un-calloused, grasped hold of both rigid members and began pleasuring them at the same time.

With every passing moment, Duo felt something happening within him. A change for the better. A healing had begun, and a warmth he hadn't felt in two years began to chase away the cold despair that had taken a hold of his heart. The emptiness that had been a part of his existence from the moment Heero walked out the door was being chipped away, as well as the hopelessness he'd felt after deciding to flee Sanq five days ago. He was being healed, his broken heart was being put back together, and his craving for intimacy, far deeper than mere physical touching, was being assuaged.

He placed his hand on top of the one coaxing him towards a breathtaking release, not wanting to receive something so wonderful without giving something back. The tongue in his mouth stilled for a moment and Duo pressed for the advantage before plummeting over the edge. The hand under his own jerked suddenly as the body pressing against him stiffened and a low, throaty growl signaled a victory, setting off his own climax. It was only then that he released the mouth that had been pressed over his own to throw his head back and release a long moan as the orgasmic wave coursed through both his body and mind.

The euphoric sensation lasted only a few short moments before the overwhelming feelings began to wane and the reality of what had just happened came crashing down on him. He fell away from Heero's slackened grasp, rolling onto his back to rest on the scratchy carpet once more. Flinging his left arm over his eyes, he squeezed them tightly shut. _What the hell did I just do? _he mentally berated himself_._

"Duo?"

How could he have let Heero come into his home and take advantage of him like this? His heart had been reawakened, and with that awakening came all the hurt and longing he'd tried to suppress over the last couple of years. And to what end?

"Duo!"

Heero's concerned voice was so close. Duo felt the other man's moist, warm flesh pressed against his chest as he hovered over him. Slowly dragging the arm away from his face, he opened his eyes, letting Heero get a good look at the regret and pain within them while he took aim. Then, as Heero's concerned eyes were locked on his face, his right fist flew upward and with enough force and speed that when it connected perfectly with the other man's jaw, successfully catching Heero off guard and knocking him from off his chest.

Duo jerked upwards in an attempt to get up from the floor, intending to give Heero hell for taking advantage of him and for bringing back all the pain and misery he'd tried so hard to escape. He only managed to sit halfway up before being firmly knocked back to the floor with Heero jumping on top of him, straddling his hips. The two of them wrestled for a moment, but having the advantage of position it didn't take long for Heero to capture both of his wrists and firmly press them onto the floor, next to his head, effectively pinning him to the carpet.

"What the hell was that for?" Heero snarled, eyes darkened with anger and his jaw displaying red imprints from Duo's knuckles. For a long moment the American remained frozen, unable to drag his gaze away from the other man's face, thinking that Heero, flustered and angry, was both breathtakingly beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.

Closing his eyes, unable to bear looking at the other man any longer, he tried, without success, to hide the misery in his voice as he asked, "Why did you come here, Heero? I was doing okay, getting over you, and now you've come and ruined it all."

There was a moment of silence before Heero quietly commanded, "Open your eyes and look at me, Duo."

He didn't want to do as Heero asked, knowing that just looking at the other man, in all his naked glory above him, would start the aching and craving all over again. When Heero spoke again, his voice had calmed considerably to a softer tone as he entreated him once more, but this time there was a note of pleading in his request. "Duo, please. Open your eyes and look at me."

Honestly, how could anyone refuse Heero when he sounded so desperate? He slowly opened his eyes to gaze at the handsome face mere inches above his own. It was a face he would never be able to forget. "Are you over me?" Heero asked, looking more vulnerable than Duo had even seen him look before.

He swallowed with some difficulty, acutely aware of the contrast between the rough carpet against his shoulders and ass and of Heero's soft and warm flesh resting on his lower abdomen. With misery choking his voice he answered, "I'll never be over you, Heero. But until last week's trip to Sanq, I thought I'd reached a point where I could go on without you, and now that's ruined."

"I'm not over you either," Heero whispered in a strained voice. He then leaned down to lightly press his lips against Duo's in a gentle kiss, reminding the braided man of the bliss they'd shared only a few short moments ago. "And I never will be," he added softly.

Heero pulled back once more, though he remained close in proximity; his chest resting against Duo's torso and those tantalizing lips hovered over his mouth, leaving Duo feeling bereft and desperately wanting more. Behind half-lidded eyes, Heero studied him, probably looking for answers that Duo didn't feel he had. Moisture gathered in his eyes, and there was nothing the braided man could do, pinned down as he was, to stop a lone tear from escaping out of the corner of his right eye. In a voice that sounded as weak as he felt, he whispered, "I don't know what you want from me, Heero, but I'm not strong enough to watch you walk away from me again." He lifted his head slightly in an attempt to press his lips against Heero's mouth, unable to stop himself.

Heero's lips ghosted over his own as he said, "Then I give you my word that I will never again walk away from you, away from us."

Duo turned his head, escaping Heero's mouth altogether, desperate to clear his head so that he could think properly. This can't be happening, he thought. Did Heero really say he still wanted him? Could he believe him or trust him again?

"What are you saying, Heero?"

"I'm saying that I want another chance. That I love you and need you."

Duo shook his head in resignation as yet another tear followed the first. " It's no good, Heero. We just aren't good together, other than sex."

"No more tears, Duo. Please don't cry," Heero pleaded, stroking his face. "I can't bear to see you cry."

"I can't help it," Duo replied, keeping his eyes turned away from Heero while sniffing back more tears and struggling to compose himself. "Why does loving someone have to hurt so damn much?"

"I don't know," Heero replied with a weary sigh. "But I have to believe there remains enough love between us to try and figure out how to make the hurting stop."

With a bitter chuckle, Duo said, "Unfortunately, we can't spend the rest of our lives in bed, and that seemed to be the only time and place where we were good together and didn't argue."

"Maybe that was true during the last few months we were together, but you've forgotten that not everything we shared was bad," Heero replied. "And I'm not talking about sex. We were good, very good for each other for a long time, before I became dissatisfied with my job at Preventers and confused about my place in the world. But I'm not the same man I was when things fell apart on us," Heero insisted as he shifted his weight from off the man beneath him and let go of his wrists. Settling down next to Duo's side, Heero's warm body became a source of comfort to the braided man's quickly chilling skin. Fingers, no longer calloused from flying Wing Zero or prying apart metal bars, begin to gently brush the long hair away from his eyes and forehead, fully exposing his face.

With reluctance, Duo turned his head to look at Heero and made an honest effort to push his doubts aside to ask, "Why couldn't we talk like this before?" It was a question that had troubled him. "How come we're so good in bed and rotten in every other aspect of our relationship?"

Heero's face bore a look of sadness as he shook his head. "We're both stubborn men, and prideful as well as inexperienced in interpersonal relationships. Sex was a non-verbal way we chose to express what we felt for each other without the risk of being rebuffed. Making love was sometimes the only way we could communicate, and it often calmed you down after an argument, enough for you to talk to me in a more rational way, like now."

Duo knew Heero was right about that, his being more reasonable after sex. It was something his shrink had brought up in a couple of sessions. But since he'd never felt their sex life to be a problem, he didn't want to spend his hard-earned money talking about it with the man. He wanted to ask Heero if calming him down now was the only reason he'd seduced him after entering his apartment, but he didn't have a chance to voice that question before Heero began speaking again, addressing the past once more.

"It took awhile, but I now understand that I was the main source of our problems, that I initiated many of our past arguments," Heero admitted in a remorseful tone. "For the past two years I've worked with my therapist to understand the motive behind my actions. She helped me to see that after the last war and the destruction of my gundam, I'd slowly developed a compulsion to conform with society's idea of what was normal, to fit in to a world I could barely understand. I became unhappy with my job at Preventers, unable to bear failure or the need to raise my gun to kill, even when it was aimed at an enemy.

"So I quit my job and began to set aside anything that reminded me of my training and the wars by entering the university and concentrating on my studies. I enjoyed the learning atmosphere of the university and knew with each passing day that I'd made the right decision. I listened and observed everything and learned to mimic the behavior of the other students I attended classes with and adapted my thinking process.

"Unfortunately, I hadn't counted on how difficult it was going to be to put the past behind me while living with a Preventer. Every time you unloaded your frustrations, told me of your accomplishments and all about your assignments: the bombs you detonated, the weapons you used as well as the details of the scheming, subversive enemies of the government and their apprehension, all help to widen the gulf between us. Every time you wore your uniform I was reminded all over again of the violent life I had left behind, and it made me more determined than ever to be free of my past, and that meant finding friends to share my new interests with."

"The pseudo intellectual shit heads from school." Duo said knowingly, bitterness still evident in his tone of voice. Then looking into Heero's eyes he said, "You could have said something, you know? That you were uncomfortable with me talking about work issues."

Heero grimaced. "I know that now, after years of therapy, but at the time I was acting on pure instinct. And with regards to my friends, they weren't that bad, Duo, and they weren't the ones at fault, it was me. I let my need to identify and be like them override the most important relationship in my life. I thought I was being subtle, pointing out to you what my university acquaintances considered your faults. I know I nitpicked in a ridiculous attempt to improve you, to make you acceptable to my new friends, especially when I recognized the same faults in myself that they saw in you. I now fully understand that it wasn't my job to "fix" you. You didn't deserve any of my criticism and I am sorry, Duo, more than I can express for my behavior and for the way I made you feel."

"It hurt, Heero. Every time you criticized something I'd either said or done, it felt like you loved me less and less." Duo spoke frankly while letting the other man witness evidence of the pain he spoke of in his eyes as well as in his words. "I lost count of how many times you hurt me, and then you just about finished me off when you gave up on us and walked out the door."

"I'm sorry," Heero repeated emphatically while placing light kisses over Duo's face.

Trying desperately to ignore Heero's affection in lieu of clearing the air between them, Duo continued, trying to explain his confusion. "During the war, when life was at its shittiest, we were inseparable, united in our hardships as well as the war. You made a promise to me, Heero, that you'd never voluntarily leave me. Why is it that after the war, when we finally had a place of our own, I had a good job and you were attending school, with my blessing I might add, things went to hell faster than I could blink? Yeah, things weren't peachy in the last few months, but when does Heero Yuy, gundam pilot, give up the fight before the war is over? You broke your promise and my heart when you packed up your stuff and left me as soon as I agreed to the stupid separation."

Heero absently stroked the smooth, pale skin beneath his fingers, moving in a circular pattern over the slender hip as he attempted again to explain his actions. "Wufei thought that my leaving the apartment as soon as we returned from L3 was for the best, but I swear to you that I never intended to let you go permanently." He paused only long enough to sigh wearily. "I was just frustrated, and so damn tired of the constant arguing. I just wanted it to stop, Duo. I thought our therapists might be right, that we just needed some space and time to step back and deal with our pasts before dealing with each other. Our fighting had escalated to an alarming level and our friends were right to intervene. But don't think, even for a moment, that walking out of the door of our apartment was easy for me, especially after the way we parted."

Heero closed his eyes and a pained expression crossed his face, as if he were recalling that moment in time. "The image of you standing in the living room, with your hair down, tears in your eyes and misery written across your face has haunted me ever since."

Opening his eyes once more to focus on Duo's face, he asked, "Did you know that after I shut the front door I sat down in front of it and waited at least a half hour, hoping you would come after me and tell me not to go? My suitcase even banged against the wall after the door closed, and still you didn't come out. It took every ounce of strength I possessed to finally get up and walk to my car. Even then I waited another fifteen minutes, hoping for... something."

With soulful eyes searching for understanding Heero asked, "Why did you run away, Duo? I can understand your wanting to get away for a few days, but when I realized you weren't coming back, that no one, not even Quatre, knew where you were, I felt as if I'd lost everything."

The truth of what Heero had disclosed was evident in his sad eyes. Unable to resist offering some comfort, Duo lifted his hand to gently cup the other man's cheek. Heero hadn't changed much during the time they'd been separated, but his lover's face had become a bit more angular, more masculine. Now, being in such close proximity, he found the old familiar longing for the man before him back in full force. Taking a deep breath he answered Heero's question in a choked voice, "I couldn't bear to watch you get over me, Heero. To stand back to watch you find someone else and fall in love with them."

Heero shifted to pull Duo into his arms once more. With his eyes tightly shut, he held that braided man against his bare chest as he also struggled to regain his composure. "I was lost, Duo. So lost without you," he whispered into the brunet's hair. "I turned to my friends at the university after learning from Wufei that you had no intention of coming back, and that's when Daphne came into the picture and wheedled herself into my life in the guise of a friend. Even now I'm not sure how she manipulated me as effectively as she did. I took her at face value, thinking she was simply acting out of friendship when she offered me a place to stay."

"Needing to be around other people in order to keep myself busy and distracted, I accepted her seemingly harmless invitations. We socialized with the same people, went out in the evenings, took our meals and studied together. I don't know if it was because I was naive to a woman's wiles or too focused on school and distracted by your absence that I didn't notice she had designs on me. The night before Christmas Eve I hit a very low point. I desperately missed you, Duo, and I was so angry with you for running away, thinking I'd never see you again. Daphne saw the state I was in and offered to stay at the apartment with me. She made dinner and supplied a large assortment of alcohol, of which I drank too much, trying to forget everything. When I awoke the next morning, I was surprised to find myself naked and in an unfamiliar bed. I turned over only to find Daphne, in a similar state of undress, lying next to me."

Heero's frown deepened and his eyebrows drew together, the memory he was recalling was obviously not a pleasant one. "I still can't recall anything from the night before, other than eating dinner, and Daphne led me to believe that we'd physically gone well beyond the line of friendship. I had never been attracted to her in that way, so I was at a loss to explain my behavior. While I was suffering a terrible hangover, she seemed excessively happy, a rarity for her. She kept telling me how happy and excited she was. Why she felt that way, I couldn't fathom, and my splitting headache prohibited me from questioning her further. It wasn't until later that night that I learned the reason for her odd behavior. She persuaded me to take her as my date to Quatre's Christmas Eve gathering, and I relented, thinking it was better than going alone. It was while we were sitting down to dinner that out of the blue she informed the others we were engaged to be married."

Duo pulled out of Heero's warm embrace, but only enough to study his facial expression. "And you had no memory of proposing?"

"Not a clue. I didn't want to embarrass her by challenging her claim of our being engaged in front of my friends, so I waited until we returned to the apartment." Heero's face turned grim as he continued. "I won't go into the details, but that conversation is something I never want to think about again. Ugly doesn't begin to describe what happened when I told her I wouldn't marry her. Not under any circumstances and not ever. The week between Christmas and New Year was a nightmare, and I don't know who was more relieved by my announcement that I'd moved out of Daphne's apartment and that there would be no marriage, me or our friends.

"If anything good came out of the unfortunate episode, it was that I got back on my own two feet and had a renewed determination to find you. I spent the first part of this year searching for you, but you'd covered your tracks too well. I tried to move on, thinking you had, by seeing other people, sometimes out of loneliness and other times just to spite you for leaving me."

Heero's gaze was focused on the braided man. All the hurt and loneliness he had gone through during the past couple of years was as clear as day in those deep blue eyes, and Duo recognized that pain because it matched pretty much what he'd felt for far too long. "No one ever came close to taking your place in my heart, Duo." Heero continued softly, his hand gently stroking a pale cheek. "I had just about decided to accept the fact that I'd never have another relationship that equaled what we shared when Quatre mentioned that he'd invited you to their wedding." With an expression so sad that he wrenched Duo's heart, he added, "But even then you wouldn't sit down and let me explain, let me tell you that I love you and want you back in my life." Then leaning forward to place his forehead against Duo's, he whispered, "I need you so very much, Duo. Please, tell me I don't have to live the rest of my life without you."

Swallowing down the lump in his throat, Duo hesitated, giving himself a moment to assess what was happening between himself and Heero. Was Heero's declaration for real or simply a figment of his vivid imagination? With Heero's warm, mint scented breath ghosting across his lips, he knew this wasn't another fantasy he'd conjured up.

Not wanting to over-think his next step, he wrapped his arms tightly around Heero, burying his face in the other man's neck and breathing in his natural heady scent. Heero had always smelled good, he recalled. Swallowing down any pride that might hold him back, he confessed in a shaky voice, "I'm scared, Heero. I need you like I've never needed anything else in my life. God, I'm so empty inside without you, but I can't go through another break up like the one we had. I'm just not that strong."

"I swear to you that we won't fall apart again," Heero said firmly. Then in a softer tone he said, "I'm certainly not infallible, Duo. I've made mistakes and so have you, but I am capable of learning from those mistakes. If you'll give us a second chance, say you'll take me back, I'll give you my word I will do whatever it takes to keep us together."

Duo pulled back to study Heero'face once more. "You weren't the only one at fault in our breakup, Heero. It's been pointed out to me that I had some bad habits, and resisted any effort you made to correct me. I'm a stubborn little shit, overly sensitive at times, as well as willful, and those are what my shrink calls my better traits." A snort and slight smile tugged at Heero's lips, and Duo couldn't help a wobbly smile of his own. "Hey look, we're talking, not arguing."

Heero simply nodded his head, his smile was also somewhat shaky. "My therapist worked with me on my communicating skills. I think it will help us avoid some of the problems we had in the past."

Duo chuckled. "Mine has me counting to ten in my head and weighing my word before I speak," he confessed. "I haven't mastered it yet. I guess I just need someone to practice on." Heero's inability to communicate his feelings and his own jumping to conclusions were two of several factors that had led to their problems. Maybe with the help they'd gotten from the professionals, they'd have a better chance at making it this time. Hope, that thin thread he'd felt five day ago, blossomed in his chest.

Heero leaned closer, his nose playfully circling Duo's own for a moment before he kissed the very tip. "I think there are quite a few things we can 'practice' on each other," the sexy Asian man murmured, and Duo became acutely aware of something wonderful and firm pressing against his upper thigh. He smiled as his thoughts went down the same road as Heero's, thinking of the many possibilities their "practicing" might entail. Though somewhat distracted by Heero's fresh onslaught of kisses, he wondered to himself how long the other man could stay in Park City.

Hold on a minute! What was he thinking? Were things settled between them? Could their getting together again be as cut and dry as that? It seemed as if Heero was thinking along the same lines when he said, "Will you take me back, Duo? After all that's happened, do you still want me?"

Tilting his chin up to give the other man better access to his neck, he answered, "I've always wanted you, Heero, and I do love you, more than anything. But do you honestly think it's possible for us to be together without tearing each other apart?"

Heero stroked his cheek with his thumb before answering in a thoughtful tone, "I can't guarantee we won't argue from time to time, but I can promise you I will never address you in a derogatory manner, that I'll never try to change you. I will love you no matter what challenges arise or differences of opinion we have, and I give you my word that I will never walk out on you again."

"And I promise," Duo interjected as Heero finished, "that I'll be better. I've discovered that I don't need a dangerous job to be happy, Heero, I only need you in order to feel that way. I'll try to think before I speak, to not say the first thing that pops into my mind." Then gazing into Heero's eyes he said, "As for loving you, I'm fairly certain that I was born to be yours." Leaning forward, he wrapped his arms around the man he loved and soundly kissed him.

After several long and heated moments, the two men pulled back, only to rest their foreheads together again, both wearing smiles of happiness. Then Duo recalled that Heero had a job, no doubt in Sanq. "Um... How exactly are we going to do this?"

Heero delayed answering for a moment while his mouth began leaving a trail of kisses beginning at the tip of Duo's pert nose and continuing down his jaw to his ear and neck. With his arousal quickly returning, he realized their conversation about the future was going to be short-lived.

"We're going to take it slow and easy this time," Heero mumbled in reply as his lips moved to tease a rosy nipple, obviously mistaking what Duo was asking.

"No," Duo moaned, reluctantly pushing Heero away so that he could think a bit more clearly. The other man glanced up from underneath the fringe of wild, deep brown hair, his face displaying honest puzzlement. "I mean the logistics of us being together."

Lifting one hand to bush the hair off of Duo's forehead again, Heero answered, "I took a week of personal time from work in order to track you down. I figured it might take the entire week to convince you to give me a second chance." With his face taking on a more serious cast, he continued, "I've got a good job, Duo, and I like teaching. I think I have a lot to offer those who want to know the true history of the colonies. But if you don't want to move back with me to Sanq, I'll get the credentials necessary to teach here in the states and seek a position at a local high school. Once I've completed my masters, I hope to secure a teaching position at a university."

"I don't doubt that you're good or that you're an excellent teacher," Duo said with sincerity. Heero had always been a student of history, especially when it came to his favorite subject, the establishment of the space colonies. Adding to his knowledge and enthusiasm for colony history, his experiences as a gundam pilot had the potential for opening the minds of so many about the life and struggles of those living on the colonies.

"I really like it here, Heero," he continued, thinking of all the people he'd met at the lodge and the enjoyment he'd had from working and playing outdoors. "The people are nice and I've learned to love the mountains and the sports that are available all year round." He paused, framing the handsome face in front of him with his hands. Having Heero's full attention and seeing a flicker of worry growing in his eyes, Duo took pity on the other man by being more forthright as he continued. "But I love you more than anyone or any place. If we stay here, we'll have three very pissed off friends, so I guess we'll need to shack up in an apartment in Sanq, if that's what you want. Or did you want to really start over by living in separate apartments and doing the whole dating thing everyone else thinks is necessary?"

Heero shook his head. "No, I absolutely do not want you living anywhere but with me. I think we should leave the dating experience to those who don't know what they want." A smile grew on Heero's face as he said with some pride, "I bought a home, Duo, with some of the money left over from the war. We'll never have to live in a place where we have to share the walls again. The house is nice and in a good neighborhood. Respectable enough for a school teacher and a Preventer agent, if that's what you'd like to do."

"Will it make you uncomfortable if I return to Preventers?" Duo asked, uncertain about approaching the touchy subject. "I was good at my job, Heero, though I have to admit it was stressful and I wasn't crazy about field work because it took me away from home for long periods of time." Then with honest sincerity he added, "I never liked that, being away from you, even when we weren't getting along."

Heero swooped down and kissed him again, and Duo was beginning to think he should keep saying the things that caused this type of reaction from his lover. When they paused for breath, both men were flushed and aching for more contact. A bit breathless, Duo said, "I'll see if Preventers has a job in security, or mechanics. Any nine to five job that will allow me to be home in the evenings."

"Is that what you really want?" Heero asked with a look of concern.

"I want you and a life together. That's all that matters, isn't it? A job is just a job, and no matter what I end up doing, it's not going to be my life or define my happiness, you are."

"Then your plan sounds perfect," Heero purred and began where he'd left off a few moments before.

Regardless of the fact that he was enjoying Heero's attention, the chaffing of his bare back on the rough carpet became a nagging distraction. "Mind if we move this to the bedroom? This isn't the best carpet for certain bare-ass activities."

Heero immediately leapt into action, jumping to his feet and pulling the braided man up with him. Then clasping their hands together, he motioned for Duo to lead the way.

A sudden loud knock sounded on the front door. Heero looked to Duo. "Are you expecting company?"

"Nope. I had plans to eat my take out, watch T.V. and crash."

The knock sounded again, and this time it was more persistent and was accompanied with a familiar voice. "Duo! Are you in there?"

The braided man rolled his eyes. Jim's timing was less than stellar. He paused to give Heero a reassuring kiss, then whispered, "Give me a minute, okay?"

Heero didn't look pleased by the request, but with a resigned look on his face he nodded and moved quickly to pick up his and Duo's clothing from off the floor. With his eyes on his lover, he reluctantly moved to the sofa to wait.

Duo turned to the door before allowing a wide grin to grow on his face. He loved it when Heero showed a possessive side. Acutely aware of his naked state, he placed his body behind the door as another knock came. "I know you're in there, Duo. Open up. We need to talk."

Curious about what Jim had on his mind, he put his hand on the doorknob and opened the door just enough to peer out. "Hey, Jim. What's up?" he greeted the other man in a cheery voice.

"Can I come in?"

Duo shook his head. "Ah... I don't think that would be a good idea. I'm in the middle of something here."

Jim frowned, obviously wondering what was going on. "Are you with someone?"

Duo cleared his throat and answered, "I guess you could say that."

The artist put his hands on his hips and huffed with exasperation. "I wanted to talk about what happened on our trip, but seeing that you're busy, I guess it will have to wait."

"Just say what you came to say," Duo said, not unkindly, but hoping this conversation wasn't going to take too long. Still, he didn't want to just brush Jim off, especially since he came all this way to talk to him.

With a quick glance up and down the hallway to make sure no one was listening to their conversation, the blond lowered his voice. "I think you made a terrible mistake, not talking to Heero. It wasn't fair of you not to hear him out, especially when he went out of his way to speak with you. Listen, Duo," Jim entreated as he took a step closer to the door. "I'm your friend, and it's obvious you're not over the man. If you couldn't speak to him in person, then give him a call, clear the air between you and then do what you think is best. I realize you and I can never be anything more than friends, but that doesn't mean I don't want you to be happy. Don't let your fears or stubborn nature keep you from finding that happiness, whether it's with Heero or not."

Touched by the man's concern, Duo opened the door just a little bit more. "Thanks, Jim. I appreciate you coming over here and saying that, but you really don't need to worry about me any more."

The blond man's eyes widened. "Are you naked?"

Duo ducked behind the door. "Ah.. well, here's the thing..." But before he could begin to explain the situation, he felt a warm presence behind him and then Heero's face nestled up against his own, his body pressed firmly, possessively against his back.

"Heero?" Jim asked, looking astonished.

"Hello," Heero soberly greeted the other man. "As you can see, Duo and I have talked and there's no need for you to worry about him any more. I'll see to his happiness from here on out."

Jim blinked, closed his mouth and nodded. Then a hint of a smile began teasing the corners of his mouth. "In that case, I guess I'll leave you to seeing about his happiness." Casting a glance at the violet eyes, peering through the slight opening of the door, he added, "Have fun, and call me when you come up for air."

With a push of his hand, Heero decisively shut the door, prohibiting any further comments from passing between the two. "Why does he want you calling him?"

"Relax," Duo said, turning within Heero's embrace to throw his arms around his neck. "Jim's just a friend. I've no interest in him other than that. So, now that you have my full attention, how do you plan on 'seeing to' my happiness."

Heero's frown slowly turned into a sly grin. "Actions speak louder than words, don't you think?"

"I'm thinking I like how you think," Duo grinned back.

Before he could blink, Heero bent and hoisted him over his shoulder then headed for the bedroom, which was easy to find since there was only one in the apartment.

"My turn to top," Duo called out to his lover from his upside down position, his arms flailing in an attempt to find a good hold while his braid dragged on the floor.

"We'll take turns," Heero said over his shoulder, playfully swatting the bare ass that was so handily available.

Duo yelped, more startled than from any pain. "Careful of the door," he cautioned. "And watch out for my hair." And as Heero playfully tossed him on the bed, Duo couldn't keep the smile from off his face. He was happy and reveled in the feeling he had, not so long ago, doubted he'd ever experience again.

Heero playfully dove over his body, smiling with the same happiness Duo was feeling. Once the bed settled again, and their laughter subsided, Heero rolled over to soundly kiss his lover again. Wrapped in each other's embrace, the two men paused before going further to simply enjoy the moment. And suddenly everything in the past melted away, and all of the heartache, regrets and doubts disappeared. They were together again.

With his grin softening, Duo placed his hand on this lover's face, stroking his cheek with his thumb as he gazed into the deep blue eyes before him. In them he saw love and adoration, and something even more precious.

Heero turned his head to the side. "What?" he questioned the look of wonder on the braided man's face.

"Your eyes," Duo whispered with a touch of awe in his voice.

"What do you see?"

"I think I see forever in your eyes."

Heero smiled back reassuringly, then said, "You do, love. You do."

"Love you," Duo said softly, combing his finger through Heero's perpetually untamed hair.

With his smile quickly turning to a wicked, playful grin, Heero threw out a challenge. "Prove it."

Duo threw his head back and laughed the laugh of a very happy man. "Don't say you didn't ask for it," he warned as he rolled Heero onto his back with every intention of granting his lover's request.

The End

Author's comments: Whew, that was a long chapter. I hope everyone reading enjoyed this story. I know, a bit of sap throughout this last part, but what the heck, it's kind of expected in a happily-ever-after ending. Thanks for reading and for all your lovely comments and support. It's all very much appreciated. Hugs to all of you.


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